A place to rant and get advice if you want.

[KoyiTar]

I have no idea what to tell you to do I have never been in that type of position and such.

[neomattlac]

God, I just read the best/worst pickup line for a fat guy.
"You know what they say. Big guys looove to eat out."
XD

[KoyiTar]

That was random very random indeed. Anyway I am thinking I don't really have my friend as even a friend anymore. We haven't spoken in a while then again he has been playing quite a bit of Skyrim lately since he got it. I dunno just feeling sorry for myself because I have been cooped up inside my apartment not doing anything other than going to work and being yelled at there by people saying I am not doing my job when I was and just not understanding a bit of what I was doing seeing as I am still new to the job I have taken.

[neomattlac]

Could always freak out one day, then act like it never happened. XD
And, he's a guy. He's just addicted to his new toy.

[KoyiTar]

I actually cryed the other day at work. I don't often cry but it just got to me because I was really just thrown into the position and not given any real training. I am trying my best but sometimes feel overwhelmed.

[neomattlac]

Drinking at work usually solves the problem temporarily. Sorry, I should be asleep, so I make no sense.

[KoyiTar]

I should be asleep myself because the latter I stay up the more into a depressed state I get. Because I am overthinking things and such.

[neomattlac]

Good night my fellow Midorean! To the bed we shall go! Not together of course.

[KoyiTar]

I have realized I am nothing more than a waste of space. Something to be used up and have my money spent because I am too nice and kind. I always end up giving so much of myself that I never have the chance to take anything back in return. I am so pathetic no wonder everyone I know walks all over me and expects everything from me all the time.

[neomattlac]

Lies. All lies. At the very least, I think you are worth quite a bit, a good chunk of time, money, and thought. You are quite wonderful, and you need to remember that.
Your kid's probably pretty awesome too. Inherited it, most likely.

[KoyiTar]

No it's not lies. The only time people want to be around me is if I can pay the way for them otherwise I am not worth being around. Hell I am a pretty boring individual in the first place. I don't like to party or be around any place that has a large crowd. I am quite an soft spoken and overly nice and forgiving. When I am with someone I am loyal to the point of remaining loyal even when I am simply being used or cheated on. The only thing I am good for is money or sex it seems. No one wants to be around me unless I am putting out something. Aside from my son who is happy to be around me no matter what so I guess that's one thing to look happy about but what kindave life is that when the only person that can even stand to be around you is a two year old that is your own flesh and blood, and when he's old enough he won't even want to be around you unless you're buying things for him.

[Illusion]

Awww Kooooyi, that's not true!!!
I'm the exact same way and I feel the same way all the time as well. I feel like I get used a lot of the time. I've been slowly coming to the realization that it's not true. Some people may use you here and there, but the true friend or person will not and they will love being around you no matter what. In order to be happy you need to take care of yourself. I've been trying really hard to get this jammed into my head as well so YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

I'm a very quite person I don't really mingle with people all that well. And I sure as hell don't like to party like most other people my age either. Seriously, you're not a waste of space or time or anything else!!! *huggles* If you need someone to talk to IRL feel free to talk to me. I may not have all the answers but I'm willing to listen.



@Neo, wow I don't remember the last time I chimed in I feel bad because you guys have been here talking for so much for so long and I just seemed to have vanished. D: Anyway, I'm not entirely sure what kind of advice I can give you to make your friend talk to you again. The only thing I can think of is telling him that you never intended to hurt him nor did you say that you were "implying" you were going to be in a relationship with him later. You were confused and depressed but you eventually found yourself and you realize that you no longer feel the same way (as in if you had any other thoughts about homosexuality). And then ask that he forgives you and you hope that he will have enough heart love and courage to accept your apology.


So if either of you wanna talk sometime just give me a call or text.
I'll PM you both my number. I wish you both the best. <3

[neomattlac]

Okay. My (ex)girlfriend is no longer an issue.
Koyi - Please realize that you are worth more than you think. You may think you are worthless. then you are wrong.

[KoyiTar]

I well I still feel pretty useless lately. I really don't have much to say anymore.

[neomattlac]

You are worth more than a million dollars and twenty-eight years of time