Favorite Jokes

[Chaomiles]

Hy people I start a topic asking you to tell me your favorite jokes

A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts. Her husband tells her:
"Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."

The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"

"Just rub toilet paper between them."

Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"

"I don't know, but it worked for your @ss."

[Atraea]

Lol, ew.


The infamous "Aristocrats" joke is far too vulgar to post here, but it's easily my favorite joke of all time.

[Tianfu]

Sadly, I don't know many jokes. The only one coming to mind is...

What did the man say to the Buddhist hotdog vender?

"Make me one with everything."

[Taruto]

This is not a favourite, but one I heard recently that was kind of funny:

---

A guy walked into a restaurant and asked for some broccoli. The waiter said, "Sorry, theres no broccoli."

So the man asked for a meat pie and broccoli. The waiter said, "There is no broccoli."

So he asked for a meat pie, chips, and broccoli. The waiter replied, "Spell cat, as in catastrophe."

"C-A-T," the man answered.

The waiter then asked, "Spell dog as in dogmatic."

The man said "D-O-G."

"Now spell f***, as in broccoli," the waiter said.

The man yelled "THERE'S NO F*** IN BROCCOLI!"

The waiter laughed, "EXACTLY!!"

[Lasair]

Ha, this one is stupid, but funny for all that music dork in you.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?

A flat miner

[Miriallia]

So. I have two:
"If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all."

and

"CHRISTMAS IS CANCELED! I told Santa you were good this year, and apparently he died laughing..."