Is It OK For Friends To Pick Apart Your Life?

[Opium]

Well, I'm not sure how to reply to your topic. I guess I could start by giving kudos to those before me; I think they've hit the major issues, point-blank. Still, I'm not sure that I agree with everything they've said.

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To state on a personal level, I appreciate my friends' honesty; I'd MUCH rather them criticize my ways, than lie to me. But, they don't ever say anything, except on rare occasions.

(Us surfer/skater kids don't receive much criticism on our looks.)

Yet, I feel that for friends to share that kind of honesty with you, (within the right voice tone), it's a symbol of trust and mututalism.

But, if they're nagging on you, that's disrespect. You need to make your thoughts known. Tell them how you feel about it, and if they have any ounce of dignity, they'll respect your wishes.

I would. =]

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Sorry if I'm not making sense.

Good Luck!
~Opium

[BubbleTrouble]

To be honest I think real friends should make you feel good about yourself not point out your faults, you should feel comfortable and accepted with friends. I mean they can point out faults to a certain point, but after a while they're just being cruel. I think it is also cruel that they essentially had a go at you because you were different, believe me unique is good, too many people now a days are just clones of the person next to them. I hope things get better for you, I remember when I was bullied at my school all of my friends would take the side of the girl who bullied me we were only young but it was still unpleasant.

[Iregyura]

Aww...I'm sorry to hear that (no, YURA really is) I also don't think that it's OK for friends to do that. I mean, if it's like, "Oh, and Yura, I think that your jeans have a hole in it," is OK, because they're telling you that you need to sew it up or else your jeans will turn into shreds. However, criticizing your looks and what you do?! Telling you that you need a haircut?! That's a little overboard. You can have whatever hairstyle you want, and probably the only thing that is acceptable while judging your hairstyle is, "Oh, you probably need to trim your bangs; it's down to your nose." They shouldn't tell you what to do, but maybe some nice advice would do. But what they did is totally criticizing. I mean, if I dyed my hair purple, maybe my friends would say, "Whoa, is that acceptable in school?" but not like, "That looks terrible. Change it." So really, they're not worth spending your time with. If all they do is hurt you and then criticize each other as well, that's not being good friends. I mean, if you know it's going to hurt you, then find new friends. Friends are suppose to love and care for you, not criticize and complain about your backpack all day.

Well, if you must know, I have been in a similar situation before, but I figured a way out (for me, I don't exactly know for you) of the situation. It was scary going to school, because I know that I'm going to get teased and being laughed at (Sorry, YURA doesn't like being laughed at )
See, I used to have really long hair (down to my tailbone; I reckon. Sorry; weird comparison.) and I put it in braids everyday (now I look back, I can't believe it.) My hair was dark brown, and everyday my "friends" pulled at my hair and glasses and told me that I looked terrible. I couldn't really say anything, but really, they didn't look at all that awesome themselves. So one day, I got really ticked off. I have been confronted often by this really nice girl and her friends, and so I decided to hang with them. Little by little, I spent less and less time with my "friends," till I completely didn't talk to them.
However, somehow those "friends" started catching on to me again, and were really picky about my hairstyle and stuff again. So on a long weekend, I was invited to go shopping by my new group of friends, who was there when I was teased. When I got there, it seemed like they actually declaring that they will change me to a totally different person. We went to a store of Asian clothes (Sorry, they're all Asians, so yup.) and bought a ton of new clothes (I was told to bring at least a hundred dollars...My allowance!) Also, my friends told my how to dress, what to put on when you put this other thing on, and soon my head was filled with fashion. At the very last of that day, we went to a hair stylist (he was Japanese, I think) and cut my hair so it was only up to half of my back and dyed part of it light light brown. Then my friends threatened (jokingly though; they're so nice) that they would be really mad if I ever tied my hair in braids in my life ever again. Also, they even got me endless supply of contacts! I was really pleased and suprised.
After the long weekend, I went to school, and really, all the people there were really surprised. They gaped and were like, "Whoa, that can't be YURA!" It felt really good as a comeback for those lousy "friends" I had. I was really glad and like how it felt to be adored and pampered that day.
Now, all of those "friends" I had somehow (really weirdly) all moved away. No big deal now, since my group of friends truly didn't care what I looked like, but arranged a comeback for me on those former "friends". I appreciate it a lot, and now is really happy with my looks and finally got the point of fashion (though YURA is not pro at it). This is my own little story, and I hope that you get out of this ridiculously hopeless situation and change it to a trump card!! (I bet you're really pretty; you just don't realize it.) YURA hopes that this helps!