| Yeah, today was my first day of college. Well, not my first day, but my first day of my second/last year. Idk why, but I get so so freaking nervous about everything. I mean I think im scared of my male teacher or something. He just freaks me out. I just feel like any minute he is going to tell me to rip out a needle and stick a horse or cat in the eye with it. Yeah....well..I guess Im just a nervous person.
I also feel like he is so...idk...scary. He shouldnt be, but he is to me. I feel like he is looking for me to mess up. I had his last year, but I am still so freaked out by him. And jumpy too. This is horrible, but I am.
Yeah so I had my normal nearly throw up because of nerves first day. Which isnt fun. Honestly. Do you ever have this kind of problem?
I feel like tomorrow will be a better day because I dont think I have any classes with him. Wow. I cant believe my self. I need to buy some books. I bought them online because I saved 100 dollars by doing it, but they wont be here for a while because well mail is either SUPER expensive or really damn slow. I just hope I dont need them for a while. Otherwise I guess i could borrow someones.
I am going to college to be a vet tech. I feel so inadequate at times. Its just like I feel so many pressures at school that its hard to do such easy tasks. During my internship, which I have yet to complete (OH SO WORRIED, I NEED IT TO PASS), I had at much easier time of it. Everything was a lot more laid back and if you messed up it was no biggy. It wasnt like OMG OMG if i mess up its the end of the world. Sometimes I wish I could just quit school and go back to that. Urg. I hate being such a nervous wreck all the time.
Not to mention every time I get nervous I feel like I have to run to the bathroom and throw up. I wish there was a way to stop this impulse. HELP ME. haha.
Honestly school is just ...something I cant wait to be over.
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