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Post new topic   Reply to topic Artificial

Do you like it?
Yes
60%
 60%  [ 3 ]
No
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
It's all right
40%
 40%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 5

Veriantor



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 PostPosted: Thu May 07, 2009 3:46 pm Reply with quote        
This is my first poem I ever made. Tell me you think all right. Here I go.
The poem is called Artificial.

Artificial body.
Artificial brain.
Artificial everything, but it's still the same.
You might think it's crazy.
You might think it's strange, but when you become one.
You'll see it's still the same.


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KashanArigashi



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 PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 10:38 pm Reply with quote        
I liked it! What was your motivation, if you don't mind me asking?
Veriantor



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 PostPosted: Tue May 12, 2009 11:17 pm Reply with quote        
It just came to me one day I was bored in school.

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KashanArigashi



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 PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 5:53 pm Reply with quote        
Ah, gotta love the random bursts of inspiration
Veriantor



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 PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 6:39 pm Reply with quote        
That's how the best stuff is made.

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KashanArigashi



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 PostPosted: Wed May 13, 2009 8:37 pm Reply with quote        
Can't argue with that one!
Veriantor



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 PostPosted: Thu May 14, 2009 12:13 am Reply with quote        
Do you write any poems?

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KashanArigashi



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 PostPosted: Fri May 15, 2009 4:08 pm Reply with quote        
Eh, occasionally.

But sadly I'm not an extremely good poet. =(
glimpse



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 PostPosted: Fri May 15, 2009 4:50 pm Reply with quote        
I used to like writing poetry a lot. Then, it got too stressful and I stopped. D: Every once and a while, though, I'll write a poem for fun and really enjoy it. It's really fun to do!

@Veriantor, your poem was good, but I admit that it was a bit dark! D:
I would've rewritten the last line like this:

"..but when you become one,
It'll still be the same."

But still, it's good for your first poem ever. Hai

Now I'm gonna write a poem about you guys:
"Back and forth, stark-
But gentle, quick-
But mannered; I watch
The two of them converse, I watch
Their conversations slide.

Kashan and Veri, then there's me,
Coming here to watch the scene
And play a role in what's been said
And left unsaid in this old thread.

This rhyme in me, I soon will post
And leave myself open to jokes
Because creating poetry
Is better than, you know,
Nothing. Bouncy Heart

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Veriantor



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 PostPosted: Tue May 19, 2009 6:49 pm Reply with quote        
Nice poem. Thanks for a complement.

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Kasumi Ocada



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 PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2009 4:18 pm Reply with quote        
Hey, I didn't know you were a writer, Veriantor. ^.^

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Veriantor



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 PostPosted: Wed May 20, 2009 7:12 pm Reply with quote        
I use to write poems all the time back in High School. Now I mostly draw and once in a while I'll write a poem. With this poem I won a poetry contest second place anyways.

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