So messed up

[neomattlac]

I never learned to pick up a girl or what to do for dates or any of that stuff...
and I am 20... *fail*

[lexi luthor]

Want to learn? How old are you?... just wondering

[Sly]

Yeah I suck at these kind of things myself...when it comes to relationships, I more-or-less just sorta...stumble around in them.

[lexi luthor]

When it comes to relationships with me.... I don't know how I do whatsoever, which is probably not good I suppose

[Chu]

In my opinion, there's really nothing to "learn" with that type of thing - every person is different from the last.

You just... do what you want. o-0 Within reason of course.

I mean, that typical "romantic" stuff like pulling out chairs, opening doors, kissing on the hands... it all creeps me out and makes me uncomfortable. It gives me the feeling of a hidden agenda, because quite frankly, no one naturally behaves that way. I just want to say, "Drop the facade and treat me like a person."


If it compensates for anything, I never learned how to properly behave either. I like it better this way. I haven't been indoctrinated by disgusting romantics.

[ecco]

yea. honestly. listen to these guys.

TRYING to "pick up" will get you nowhere. the only people i know that can actually manage this without looking foolish are those people who are naturally outgoing, friendly, charming and flirty.

thats not to say that without those things, you cant find someone to be with. personally, i can't stand being flirted with. if a guy hit on me at a bar or club, for instance, i'd almost definitely be completely uninterested.

just be yourself, if you find someone you like, try to get to know them and always be honest about yourself and your feelings ^^

[Athilea Majiri]

I'm really glad that I'm married so that I don't have to worry about that anymore. I'm always super nervous around people that I don't really know that well. Even if I know the guy well and I go on a date with him I would be nervous.

I just worry to much I think. My best advice, though, is to be yourself and do something that you both think will be fun.

Edit: Also, do the nice things like holding doors open, pulling her chair out, and what have you.

[neomattlac]

[Chu]

Pffffft, you sound like Raz. XD Just say what's on your mind, it's less awkward.

[ecco]

yea. take chu's advice there.

trust me. the biggest thing about me that charms men (as far as i can tell that is!) is my blunt honesty and openess. im very outspoken and i like to make jokes. sometimes im the only one laughing, but if you can be comfortable in your own skin and just say what you wanna say without worrying about the reaction, you'll be fine.

[neomattlac]

I can't say whatever. I know. I've tried.
And I've extremely blunt. To the point where I sounds stupid sometimes....

[Chu]

Hm... I dunno. D: I'd have to have a real one-on-one conversation with you to give you proper advice.

[lexi luthor]

Neeeeooo~~

All I have to say is to act like yourself, or it'll make you look like you are trying to hard. Because if you act all polite and out of your way in the beginning eventually you'll start acting like yourself towards the middle of your relationship. Girls don't like when guys go from super nice and out of the way to bleh Idc. Because we only want you to be yourself anyway.

And if you are already an awesome out of the way guy then that's great. But all I am saying is to be yourself, it will make things less complicated in the end.

[sychobunny]

[neomattlac]

Well, for one, I have no idea why I don't remember most of these replies.
Anyways, I have been working on getting out of this "social rut," but I'm in a very country area and there isn't much to do other than go to McDonalds, or invite my friends over to watch a movie(though we often end up playing Apples to Apples or something instead).
And, honestly, I've lost my self-identity over the years. I've been conforming since I was, at least, in second grade. I actually remember thinking about how to act for people back in second grade. I think the closest to "myself" I'm still in contact with is a lazy, greedy blob. Plus, due to certain events occurring, I'm very prideful nowadays, although I confused it with confidence for a while. I'm intelligent, because I don't want to be stupid looking, strong-ish because people admired people like that, going to school to make money so that I won't have to live with my parents forever, even though they are awesome parents, which is seen as a negative thing(until they get older, but I don't want their house. Too much upkeep right now, let alone in 20-30 years), I have a mediocre taste for fashion, I love real food(and am a glutton), I like to see things done well, even when it takes more time, and I feel that most of my choices were made for me. I'm not depressed, I'm just confused on what I want to do. Particularly in relationships and a career. Luckily, I'm in a liberal arts college with a very diverse set of programs.
I go to convention(s), but I have heard on many forums, from the people themselves, that they want to have fun at the convention, not get him on. Apparently, it ruins the con for them, and I really don't want to ruin the con for them, when I am a large, creepy dude.
Forums are my main thing online. If I have the internet to, I like to watch videos and download music. I, also, often, do research online. Anything in the real world that compares? Maybe the library, but I'm there for the internet already, and often confer to books, as they are usually more clear and detailed about what I want to learn. Other people might enjoy me learning to cook more, and teaching them to do it, but there's the costs and the location to think about. Not to mention, most people my age have no money. I just want to "stand in the sun's warmth." (Koko ni Iru Yo) I'm not a huge gamer, but many of my friends are. But I feel that gaming... is costly. I've never had a lot of money, because its always been appropriated to something before I even get it.