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Post new topic   Reply to topic Hey married people! Come here...
Pocket Size Ninja



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 PostPosted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 3:19 am Reply with quote        
Ok so my in laws moved 3 hours away a few months ago. My hubby helped them move and was gone a week.

They were planning for us to come visit for a few weeks now and then I get a new job so I can't go anywhere. He left yesterday..

He has been depressed about somethings for some time now and he doesn't open up to me about what. We don't really do much, we pretty much spend 24/7 with each other. Well minus the hours he is on the phone with his mom. I ask him what he wants to do and he replies "I dunno" then there goes the whole day.

I was talking to his mom earlier and she makes the comment that he seems to be happier there and kinda hinted that I'm doing something wrong..

I'm sorry but this is my first ever marriage..not my 3rd so I don't know how to be a wife. But my hubby says that I'm doing an amazing job and loves me so much.

I miss him so much and he seemed like he didn't get the reason I was upset when they said that he wouldn't be back till Thanksgiving..

I need advice..support...or some one to just talk to..


Help...?
Athilea Majiri



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 PostPosted: Wed Nov 10, 2010 7:11 am Reply with quote        
Well, there are a couple of things that I can see you doing that might help. First off, my husband gets fairly depressed and I have to nag him until he will talk to me. That's not something that I like doing. Finally, he told me that I need to just let him brood for a little while and he will talk to me if he things he needs to. Men are, while they grow up, programmed that they should not show weakness and that they should not have to talk to anyone. So that's part of where the problem is.

That's not part of what I could see you doing though, I just wanted to help you understand that most men are like that and there is a reason. I hate it, and I do not intend to do it to my son. My husband knows it's messed up, but he can't help it. That's just like women having trouble getting past wanting to look like a super model, even when we know that it's not healthy.

Now I'm getting off track though. What sort of things does he like to do? My husband does the same thing if I as him if he wants to do something. That being said, he has also told me that if there is something I specifically want to do, to drag him along. Normally he wants to do something, he just doesn't feel like thinking anything up or just doesn't want to really get the energy up to do anything.

The other thing is to try to participate in his hobbies with him. If he's a gamer, try to play a game with him that allows more then one player. If he likes to work out, try to go for runs with him or something like that. Aside from that, the only other thing you can do is keep asking him what's bothering him until he tells you.

As far as his mothers comment about seeming happier there, how long have you been married? I have been married for 3 years and we are still getting use to each other. We've been together for 5 years and living with one another for that long. Our situation may be a little different because we do have a 20 month old so, and my mother-in-law is living with us out of necessity. ((We would not allow her to go live under a bridge somewhere.)) The over theme seems to be similar though.

If you spend a lot of time on the computer, here on Midorea or other sites, maybe make certain that you spend a little more of your non working hours just watching a movie with him or something. He could just be feeling like he is alone, even though you are there in the house with him.
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