Being a good partner.

[ArchAngelAmaris]

I have a boyfriend and I've been with him for about 4 years. We are both young adults that are attending the same University. We do a lot of things together. We are pretty much inseparable. Last year I didn't take too great care of either of us. We ate out at restaurants everyday. I didn't wash his clothes too often, or wash the dishes too often. He seemed fine with it, but I felt like I had failed at my JOB. I mean I am not opposed to a little help from him but for the most part I fee like it is my place to take care of him. This year I am going to try harder to cook more and clean more so that I can give him the best opportunity possible to have a comfortable work place and have good energy levels.

My point is, I think all of these things are things that I want to do for him. Some of my friends, and my parents say that I should let him do his own laundry and cook for himself and clean for himself. But I think that it is my task, I want it to be my task for the most part. Since we are not married it makes things worse when my family or friends see what I am doing.

I just want some different and fresh opinions on the subject. Is it okay in your opinion to want to do these things? Do you think that if you start too early that you'll get tired of your duties? Am I over thinking everything?

[Sharij]

If that's what you want....
Do what you want I'd say.

I mislike the thought because of human history (supression of women), and because you strengthen the picture of the typical housewife, but if you want to, then it's alright.
Just don't let him think that it is your *duty*!
It is definitely not, and I would let him know this if he ever dared to say any word against your work (or not doing the house work when you don't feel like it).

Nothing speaks against that...

[Martyr]

I tend to agree with Sharij. If you feel happy about doing those things, wanting to do them or enjoy such activities then it is perfectly acceptable.

However I do think that it would be best to let him do most of those things or make a rota of the chores and share them. This will encourage him to not become dependent upon you.

Also I would like to add that you're in university. You need to take care of yourself as well and not place such a huge responsibility to look after him so much. Even if you feel it is your duty, let him take care of himself and take care of each other; perhaps take turns in cooking each other a meal and sharing chores etc.

I can totally understand the reactions from your family and friends, but I for one have always chosen to do things my way.

[ArchAngelAmaris]

Thanks for the help :-) I think it is a great idea to let him know that these things aren't my DUTY, but instead they are things that I want to do intrinsically. Not because it the role of a woman. I also think I wouldn't mind setting aside some chores that are to be shared. Taking turns cooking is also a wonderful idea. I did have a lot of trouble last year with doing ALL of the things that needed to be taken care of because I had to go to school full-time. I'm going to definitely take your advice and assert my position that these things are not my duty and that I do them because I want to.

Thanks!!! ^^