Me and my (boy)friend

[x_lilmissNINJA_x]

So, a 2 weeks ago me and my friend started dating. He's really sweet, and we love hanging out. The problem is, neither of our parent's want us dating until we're 16. (About another year and half since I'm 15 in July.)

We're planning to ask both of our parents permission, since we would rather get in trouble than LIE and get in trouble. But, we both came to the conclusion that even if they made us break up we probably wouldn't stop liking eachother. For 14 year olds, this seems like a stretch, but we're both mature and get along great.

This is a huge issue for me since I feel I'm ready to date and my parents don't think I am.

So, help me by answering a few questions:
In this situation, would you lie, hide it, and hope they don't figure it out? Or would you tell the truth and risk getting in trouble so you can still have your parents trust in the end, even if you can't date the person you really like?
Also, do you think that I am old enough to date? Or even if I feel ready should I wait like my parents want me to?

[Chu]

To me there's no saying that someone is "ready" to date or not; it just happens or it doesn't. When people date someone when they're not "ready" it's just a learning experience, and they can grow from it.

And though I don't mean to be offensive, my opinion is that if you think you're mature enough to continue liking him until the two of you can actually date, then you can be mature enough to either face your parents or wait for that year and possibly mature even more. Otherwise I'd call it romanticism over anything.

Your parents make these decisions for your best interest so it's likely that some compromise can be made. The only thing that I'm positive about is that if you begin lying and sneaking around now, it'll only continue to get worse. ^^; Lying is never a good decision.

[ecco]

i really dont know how to help, since my parents never minded when i got my first proper boyfriend which was at 14.. but i will say though i was ready for a relationship, i wasnt wise enough to pick the right guy! XD though if you're already friends, im sure you wont have made that mistake haha. best of luck with your parents and with your boy <3

[The Emo Duck]

I feel like you should ask them and explain to them you want to give a relationship a try; they might not think you're emotionally ready for one. But the truth is you won't ever be unless you actually date.

I don't think you are too young, but that's just a personal opinion, I started dating pretty young myself.

But you should definitely at least talk to them about it; maybe have them meet the boy, if they haven't already. And let them ask you two questions to make them feel more comfortable with you dating them.

Also I don't think there is a time you are "ready" to date, like there isn't a, "oh you're 15 and 9 months, you can't date for 3 more months" because I think that's silly. I think the only way you can be ready to date is if you get out there and date; dating is a learning experience and you can't learn unless you experience it.

I hope it works out for you, good luck : )

[x_lilmissNINJA_x]

Thanks everyone.

What's going on is that we're telling our parents and asking permission rather than lie to them. We want their trust.
So were telling them they can talk to eachother as well about it and we'll see how it goes in a few minutes actully.

[ecco]

oh, good luck! let us know how it goes... im rootin for you guys! x3 *waves flag*

[The Emo Duck]

Good luck! I hope it goes well!

[Menmeth]

Don't try to sneak around. It won't end well no matter how it ends. You should, however, talk to your parents. I see nothing wrong with teens enjoying each others company, even closely. You would probably be better off on 'dates' with a parent around to keep stupidity at a minimum.

As for what I would do... I am not a good example, on request I will PM past experiences if you wish a list of mistakes to avoid (or at least recognize when you make them). I am also male, and even at 14 I wasn't above trying to steal a kiss or a cheap feel. In fact that part hasn't really changed...

[x_lilmissNINJA_x]

So, our parents main concern was that, because we are friends, when we break up we may lose that friendship.
After a back and forth phone conversation we came to an agreement.
They're letting us date, but me and him have to make sure that whatever happens is doesn't ruin us as friends.
So, we were concerned about that too. Whatever. It was an easy thing to promise since neither of us want to stop beings friends.

[ecco]

oh thats good then! everybody wins ^^ its kind of sweet that its your friendship that your parents were worried about

[x_lilmissNINJA_x]

Yeah. :3
So, that was their main concern. Which is okay.
We're both really okay with it. an happeh

[ecco]

yey!! im happy for you guys ^^ <3

[Menmeth]

Do hold on to that friendship. I will let you know now that couples have arguments - people are different and are not always going to agree. Work it out if there is a problem (and if things get heated back off for a bit and get back under control).

[Fork]

WOW! XD

Okay, to start off. I have a girlfriend, of whom, I met online. And I didnt tell my parents. I'm almost 17 now. Well, I didnt tell them because I dont want them to go around telling everybody they know. And weather they say so or not, Im gonna be with her until the end of time, and theres nothing, they or anyone else can do about it.

Now, as for you being 14, there is nothing wrong with dating then, just as long as you are careful, meaning no sex until you are good and ready. *married

Since your situation isn't like mines, I would just tell my parents because you do live with them, and if you have a good relationship with your parents, you will be fine, and will have to skip through the drama.

If your parents say no, just realise that there is a reason, becase parents can be over protective, girls at your age tend to get hurt alot by relationships, its a fact, but since you said you are mature, then just get your parents to understand that you are mature enough and responsible enough to date, and that you are aware of all the risks and consequences of a relationship.

I wish you luck!