Waiting till marriage...

[Twigg]

I have, and always will want to wait until I'm married. I'm 16 now, going through high school, and dealing with all the pressure of being a virgin, and I couldn't care less. I think it's important to wait to share that with the person you love and will spend the rest of your life with. i don't think your virginity is something you just give away to just anyone.

If your boyfriend really loves you, he'll wait. I'm sure of it. And it'll be all the more special when it does happen. (: Just stick to your beliefs, in my opinion, and everything will work out. You don't need sex to keep a relationship going, in my opinion.

[Jazzeroki]

I would higly sugest waiting. I waited until I was married and I was very happy that I did. Sex is something that is very personal and very intimate. It's not something I would recomend ever just throwing to the wind. If you save yourself and treat sex like how it should be treated and not how popular media likes to portray it, it ends up becoming something that can bond a marriage together very tightly. It can become something very special between just you and your companion. Well I guess I could go on for a long time but let's just say it can truelly be something better than just about anything else in the world if you treat it right. If you do give yourself up outside of marriage and that type of comitment it can be pleasurable for the short term, but in the end it will never be as good as it could have been. Also if both you and your partner saved yourselves for marriage then the likelyhood of having STD worries is almost nothing. Also you can feel more assuredly that your companion will remain true to you and not cheat. Sex is meant to be the topping on real love not a high school romance. I don't think I would ever suggest more than just kissing to high schoolers.

[la Acuatico]

I think that you should wait. If you boyfriend really loved you, than yes, he would wait. He would accept your decision and everything else. I mean, you don't need to be carrying a baby while studying for college finals or whatnot. I bet you that he would wait. If not; it proves that he's not good enough for you, and doesn't want to listen to what you think is right. There's always guys out there (Not trying to sound mean, harsh cruel, etc. etc.) that probably are pretty nice guys too. So wait, it'll pay off. Plus, you're probably still too young to be a mother. I mean, it takes a lot of things to have a kid. You will find yourself sacrificing a lot of your life for that kid. (Not that I have one, I hear my mom talking about it all the time) Enjoy your youth! Go on a few trips and relieve stress! How did I get here...Whatever though! Enjoy a few more years until you're mature enough to accept the fact that you have to sacrifice a lot for children (not that you're not mature, sorry.)

[Beaux]

I'm 15 and a virgin. I plan to do so until marriage, because that is the way I was taught. And if I don't have sex, I have no chance of getting pregnant or getting an STD. Besides, I'm not even that interested in boyfriends and dating and the like. XD
I understand where other people are coming from too though. Everyone has a different viewpoint on the subject.

[dies Veneris]

I think you should wait. I mean, yes, your boyfriend is very important. But he should understand your opinions and other things. I mean, it would also be very bothering to carry a child while in college. I also think that you should keep your youth for a while. Raising a kid takes a lot of work and sacrifice, my mom says often. So I'll believe her. Remember, with a kid you can't do anything as freely anymore; sometimes you'll have to wake up super early so you can do whatnot housework or something!

[dreamer676]

To be perfectly honest with you I think it depends on your reasons behind why you want to wait. Like chasitity is all well and fine and I respect you for it, but if you are choosing to stay pure merely for the social standing (which I am not suggesting that you are ) or because you want to impress or gain respect from parents or teachers (which again see bracets) then I feel you are doing it for the wrong reasons. At the end of the day there is nothing wrong with sex we all do it at some point, so long as you are safe, sure and with someone that you love, then it's perfectly right. Of course this does all really boil down to religion as well, I won't say you should defy your beliefs for example

In my personal experience, I don't regret losing my virginity when I did, but I was in a long-term, trusting relationship, so it wouldn't have mattered if I had waited or not because I know that my boyfriend would have waited til I was ready. So yeah it does merely depend on what you believe and feel deep down At least in my humble opinion.

[DrunkenShark]

Starting with an advice to Trenscendence (sp?) even if I'm not sure it is still needed: First of all I fail to understand the idea of a pact with friends that would make sure you won't get "more intimate with a guy" before your wedding. I don't know what good it brings to your friendship and if it is to confort the one of you that does not have a boyfriend I can tell you there are other ways that are easier to deal with. As for the fact you boyfriend wants to sleep with you, the most important thing in that is to find out if you really desire him this way or if you consider this only because you want to please him. At this point you must be sure it is exactly what you want, you must feel some sort of physical need or some very strong curiosity in the first place before doing anything sexual with him.
I also agree with dreamer676 and I want to add this: you need to do only a few little gestures to make sure sex will never be a bad thing: you need protection, lucidity (know your reasons and your partner's reasons to have sex) and discretion (talking about it to everyone not open minded on the subject could destroy your social life if people starts rumors about you, so be cautious and humble as a true modern lady )

As for myself, I have to admit I am 19 and still a virgin. It has nothing to do with religion or a pact and I'm not even sure I want a real official wedding and all, even though I know it's easier for all the legal stuff, buying house, cars and having kids...
Boys come to see me, I get to meet a few boys, but I never get the feeling our relationship worth it amongst other thing (I'll get back on that soon). I must say I am a little bit like a cat: I hang around people when I feel like it, I am very nice, a good listener and all when I feel like it, but try to reach me too often, stay too long with me and I will somehow suffocate and only feel like running away. It's just like a cat when you pet it or play with it with cat toys for too long or too intensely: the cat will suddenly have some sort of mental glitch and will bite or run away... So when guys are really trying to get to me and really trying to hang out with me, I get irritated and then try to avoid them, just as stupid as it may seem (I do the same thing with friends that want to go out with me too often <_<).
On the other hand, I got that kind of trouble: I want a boyfriend I find attractive, I do not seem to be able to feel a physical need for boys I am not interested in. I think the passion part of a love relationship is very important: it is what makes the difference between good frienship and love. The thing is: I am 19 but I am attracted to men from 27 y-o to 40 or 45 and I truly don't feel attracted to guys my age or about 20 to 26 y-o. (Mature men more often have a thick and strong bone structure and muscle structure I really love, no matter if they are not like bodybuilders with the 6 pack abs... As for younger men, they only remind me of little boys or my younger brothers, it feels wrong to me, just like a 60yo man sleeping with a 16 yo girl feels wrong to many people...). Since the 30 yo men attracted to way younger women are not often the kind of people you want to hang out with in order to get an intelligent conversation and since I don't know where I can go out and meet the famous mature men, I can only wait for an opportunity, foreseeing I might as well only get a real boyfriend (I nearly had 2 XD) and lover when I will be done with my studies: I believe I will get myself a co-worker to love or a man working in a working field close to mine (such a police officer, yummy!) And of course I will refrain from talking about my SM tendencies and the need for human contact winning over the need for someone to get to a chic restaurant or to the theater with me cause it is not the subject and might shock some

Anyway, to conclude my dumb chattering about everything and nothing you want to know about (with tons of grammar mistakes): I am a virgin, it is like this only because my social skills are crappy and not because of any social or religious restriction, I want sex before wedding, I don't believe in wedding and I suggest you don't pay too much attention to wedding as well and go instead with you rational thoughts on two point: "is it safe? is it what i want?"

[MaxR]

Honestly I'm for "having fun" like fooling around and doing some sexy things

BUT intercourse should wait.

1)you both need to be tested for STD's
2)Till marriage
3)Until your actually confortable

I mean if your afraid that he will leave because you aren't putting out, then thats wrong.

If you love someone, then you should be willing to wait. I mean if having sex is the only way to keep a guy, then prostitutes have you beat by a landslide.

if you wait, then he should be proud. Because its better you wait and be married and committed, then be too easy, break up or get pregnant before you get married.

Not saying if you have sex this will happen, but bad things are more likely to happen if you have sex sooner then later

[Menmeth]

I do not believe in waiting until marriage. I didn't, and I am glad I didn't. My only disappointment is my currently lack of someone to enjoy it with.

First, I believe that sex should be enjoyable to both, and there is really only one way to find that out - not everyone has the same drive, kinks, or tastes and it can break a marriage. Cheating is usually a result of neglect and boredom, both need to be happy with the bed they share every night (and the amount of time they are sharing it). Perish the thought of being married to someone who turns out to be a close friend and nothing more.

Second, my view on marriage is different that the society around me. I will marry because the woman is my mate, we will have bonded, we will want a family (normal is optional), and I will have no intention of straying except if she wants something we can both play with (and she will probably be the one picking it out - if anyone is willing to go "shopping" for me I like redheads & strawberry-blonds and about a 32C, but I am not by any means picky). I have no intention of getting married to someone I don't know or just met, even if I met her tomorrow it would probably be two years until the wedding. I still have the sex drive I did at fifteen, I certainly don't want that wasted (see below on Fourth, no details will be provided). Your mileage on this view may vary. It is your view are you are welcome to it.

Third, I believe in sex in a committed relationship. Not bar pickups or sleazy personals, not one night stands, and not drug or beer soaked orgies. If there is genuine attraction, I quite expect hormones and instinct to kick in after a couple of months (read six months to a year). If there isn't a steady relationship by that point *and* desire, I would consider it a huge warning to say the least (I am also a horndog and would be happy tying a girl up much sooner than that, but I am male). A relationship should grow, and to my mind that includes physically as well (I have my own damage on that and it is possible it colors my response, but that is outside the scope of this post).

Fourth, there are plenty of dirty things that can be done that are not intercourse that will still offend your parents/kidsister/minister/teacher/doctor/CPA (bonus points if it offends a rock star or dirty aging uncle). The vast majority of them should require the same STD screening as intercourse. They do not result in pregnancy. There is such a thing as informed & consensual behavior - more I will not say in the scope of this forum. Further check state and local laws - this applies also to differences in age and most kinks as well.

Fifth, use birth control. To hell with anyone who speaks against it (and if there is a male who insists it isn't needed or he doesn't like it, pitch him too). No birth control is 100% effective. None. I want to make that very clear. A woman will always be at risk (however slight) even with hormone shots or a morning after pill. That said, it should be used if you are going to have sex and do not want children resulting from said sex and it can be highly effective at doing so. Even married couples should, in my mind, use some form of birth control unless they want the resulting bundle of screaming joy.

Sixth, all males are perverts (and all females are crazy) it is merely a matter of degree. Keep this in mind.

I do not believe in the advice of some (supposedly) celibate guy in a dress (read priest) on the matter. In fact I do not believe in advice from parents on the matter (an uncle/aunt would actually probably be a better choice if there is one with tight lips and a good relationship handy, so would a mentor in scouting, a teacher (not adviser/councilor, those people are useless), or someone else that doesn't see you as their baby or feel the need to guilt trip you). Ultimately the decision you make is your own and you will have to live with it and the results of it. This includes living with "what if" and "why the hell did I wait this long" and well as STDs, pregnancy, or getting left with a used feeling. You, the reader, have better insight than any of us here in the peanut gallery.

Please keep in mind my views in no way reflect society, merely whatever madness infects me. Anyone wishing to give me a guilt trip or invoke religion is quite free to try - I have no concept of guilt, almost none of shame, like to argue theology, and can use a laugh.

[The Emo Duck]

In your case, you seem unsure so don't do it; wait until you are sure. Because if you are unsure and you do it you might regret it afterwards and it's not worth it. I feel like it's the persons choice when they want to lose it, as long as it's not ridiculously young. It's your body and you should get to chose when you have sex for the first time. If he really loves you he will stick around and wait <3

Personally, I don't think I will wait until marriage; especially if my current relationship keeps going. I just feel like now is not a good time because I'm about to graduate high school and go to college and if anything were to go wrong it wouldn't be worth it; and my boyfriend has agreed; we had a long talk about it. We decided we will wait until a time in our lives when if something does go wrong we have the time and resources to handle it properly. We've already been dating for over a year and we plan on keeping the relationship going when I go off to college, he is going to be a senior in High school next year. We feel like if we can make it for another 2-3 years we are ready to have sex.

[saiyouri]

I wished I had the choice to of waited til I met my husband. My husband on the other hand wanted to wait til marriage. I love that about him to this day. I think people who want to wait are doing something amazing. It takes alot to do that in todays day and age.

Too many people have sex with everyone they see (as in date) and have alot of one night stands. I feel sex means something special and it is something to share with someone you love. But with how many people are having sex with anyone it is losing it's meaning. Age doesn't matter either. What I mean by that is that it doesn't matter how old you are if you want to wait til marriage. You can be a 40 yr old virgin and I still would think that is good. Because it takes commitment to do something that you believe in when so many around you are doing it all the time.

[ecco]

i also believe sex should be special, tho really it doesnt bother me what other people get up to with these things as long as theyre not hurting anyone.

im 19 and i have slept with 4 people... the first turned out to be a mistake, not that i wasnt ready but he wasnt - in my eyes, anyway. it made him even more of an egotistical jerk. but i dont regret it, simply learn from it. the rest are boys i have felt greatly for... in love with 2 and the other saved me from the darkest time of my life, tho im not sure i was ever really in love with him..

but basically, i think sex should be for someone you are in love with ^^ its one thing to find someone sexually attractive, but quite another to let yourself be so vulnerable with them..

i was going to say something else, but i totally forgot.

[terrapin]

I am a seventeen year old virgin. I don't want to wait till marriage, but I do want to wait until I find the right person, so that it would be special. I wouldn't have sex with just ANYBODY.

[ecco]

[terrapin]