To: You // From: Me {Ranting Thread}

[Nikki]

I don't know where else to really put this. I'm extremely aggravated. I tried sending this to my Ex on myspace but him and his brother have their messages on friends only. If I go over to their house - I'm going to have a bitch fit and prolly get in a fight. Which is what I was trying to avoid by typing this. Hopefully ranting here will help me feel a little better. :>

Feel free to use this thread for your ranting needs, in hope to help you feel better. Just follow the format.

To: Censored Name - Subject

*Content*
~Your Name



Rules:
FOLLOW MIDOREA RULES!
Do not drop names, even if they're not part of the community. Cleverly cover up the names in a mature fashion.


------------

To My Ex - Quit your bullshit

Next time, when spreading a bullshit rumor about someone - do your homework. Please? 3 weeks ago, yeah? Guess what. From May 4th till the 12th I was - get this - living with Boyfriend for a while. Oh my, that just ruined your rumor didn't it.. Sorry boo.

Please Ex BF. Grow up. I haven't done anything but be honest with you. I, in no way, deserve having you harass me from afar. Be a man, not a little kid.

IF I WANTED TO - I could have led you on and not have told you I was talking to my BF again. Then broke up with you once I knew something was for sure. Instead I was honest with you. I started talking to my BF the night before I told you and since you're practically DEAD when you're asleep I talked to you in the morning - the soonest I could. You took it the way you did, fine. I respected you and left you alone to heal or whatever. The only contact we had was when I had that stupid pregnancy scare.

Please appreciate my honesty a little more then you do. Don't continue to make enemies. It's bad enough you have a psycho ex before me. I don't want to get hostile towards you - but if you push, I'm going to shove. Playing with my emotions is damned well dangerous and you know that. I have no quarrel with you - I just want to live my life. I don't need you to add to the BS in my life.

If it's a cry for attention Ex BF, then just TALK to me. I have no problem being friends with you again - if that's what you want. You don't have to take an immature approach like that.

~Nikki

** Take note that I lied about being with my boyfriend just to make his BS rumor blow up in his face. The rumor is completely untrue so I wanted him to feel like a retard for even starting it and trying to make my boyfriend not trust me.

[Maeve]

lol I hope that helped you in some way. I always find it kinda sad when people can't communicate decently with each other, but of course, if you can't meet them in person because you know it will generate a fight and you can't join them by any other way, it's kinda hard to talk lol

Nice thread idea though! It gives a place for people to rant and free themselves a bit, and like that they don't end up polluting the forum by making multiple threads to talk about the same thing. I'll try to remember this place if I ever need to decompress.

[Bound]

I like this kind of format~ IRL, I've written a letter to someone, just pouring out whatever I think onto the page, then hidden it or torn it up and thrown it away. It's a really good venting mechanism, I find, although I luckily don't often have to turn to it.

I hope writing that out helped you a little~ :) I'm having some issues with one of my housemates at the moment, so I might be back here posting my own letter soon enough. XD

[Yazoo]

... I got something! >.<;;
We did mail back and forth and I already broke contact, but because she'd have likely suidided or become suicidal if I were to say everything the way I wanted to, I didn't v.v;;
Wouldn't want a death on my name, suicide notes adressed to me and pissed off friends stalking me =_____=;;;;;;

... And due to the PG13 rule I still can't say everything I want to xDDDD


WARNING: ... Language


To: EX-GF - Get a life.


Seriously, shove it where your brains seem to be. I have no interest in listening to you whine, whine, WHINE about everything and anything.

You're the one always whining how your opinion never seems to matter, even though you keep telling me to decide everything we're going to do and everywhere we're going to go. Get a fucking grip on it. Either open your mouth and tell me what you wan't or just accept it, but don't. whine. to. me.

And hell's up with you blaming me you're doing everything I want you to do? YOU'RE THE ONE DOING IT! What kind of loser just does everything they don't want to do while knowing there are no consequenses to saying no! You! Stop blaming me for what YOU decide to do.

Hell's up with you whining about always having to be the one to come over anyway. I come over plenty of times and the times you come here I actually pick you up half-way where you have to switch trains. Hello? The problem? Where? And besides. Your mom hates me and you know it. Of course I'm not coming over 9/10 times. The 50/50 thing we had going was fair enough.

And it's my fault that I have, in your words "the weirdest effect to make you temporarily pretty much forget everything you might want and become more like me then yourself" how? Seriously. You're trying to be someone you're not. Not me. I'm just myself.
Apparently you like my myself better then yours since you seem pretty keen on copying mine. Noob.

And yes, our break up could hardly be called a break up. Wanna know why? Because you single handedly decided we were together in the first place. Not me. You. So don't give me crap over it. I did the things, took you to dates, etc etc. Don't go expecting me to love someone I can't love, namely you.

Get over it.


~Yazoo <3


Woot Nikki!
I hit the 100 silver limit we keep discussing! ^^
Yay me! =D

[Nikki]

@Maeve; Ranting helps me a lot. I usually rant to my boyfriend, but it just didn't work in that case. I just felt even more angry while talking to him.

@Bound; Lucky. I'm a very angry person and I have a pretty short fuse, things get to me pretty fast too so I have to have some "creative" way to release my anger besides destroying stuff/hurting people/myself.

-------------

To: My beloved Boyfriend - Fuck you.

I'm SO SORRY that I ended up crying because it was storming really bad by my house. SO SORRY that I was home alone with my dog with NO ONE to hold me or for me to cling on. I'm SO SORRY I'm fucking scared shitless of loud noises in general. SO FUCKING SORRY.

Fuck you. I fucking know being scared of lightning and thunder is stupid, you don't have to fucking remind me. Do you think I ENJOY being scared of it? All I wanted you to fucking do is pick up your stupid ass phone and tell me everything was going to be okay.

But no.

What do you say to me? "Nikki you need to get over it." Well sooooorry Mr. I'mnotafraidofanything. Why don't you fucking be scared and ALONE for once? See how it feels? It can't hurt me, huh? What about you? What happens if I get hit by a car? Won't you be afraid? Wait. It's stupid to be scared of it because it doesn't hurt you.

Go die,
~Nikki

[Tsumi]

@yazoo:
oh... and here I was... thinking I had a f*ckend up relationship once O__O that girl who called me every two hours after SHE broke up with me, telling me she wants me back and stuff and saying she would spread bad rumors about me if I don't make her wishes happen D: am I a fairy or what? >___>
but that's nothing against someone who can't stand up for themselves and make others responsible for their unhappiness, and seem to have/have a suicidal tendency so you can't speak out your thoughts cuz they might do something reckless -____- such people get on my nervs -_____-#

@nikki:
bad luck with guys? ^^°
hope your boyfriend apologized to you for being insensetive and you aren't mad at him anymore ^^
(I had a boyfriend who was terribly afraid of moths... I must say it was really hard not to laught at him and actually try to calm him down after chasing away the insect ^^° xD)

[Chu]

Normally I don't do this type of thing because it feels like I'm whining, but I will so that anyone interested can see what's been hogging up my time so much.

To: My family members

I'll start by saying thank you.

They always talk about the silver lining in every cloud, but fail to mention the dark shadow behind every blessing. What am I talking about?

There are two prominent things that I've been given - one is strength, and the other is material possessions.

Strength to me is synonymous with independence so we'll go with that for a while. Throughout my life I've been subjected to a lot of terrible things. In fact, the only misgivings that I haven't received seem to be physical. It seems that each one of you believe that just because I don't endure something myself, it doesn't hurt me. HELLO! I'm fragile and emotional to begin with. It doesn't seem like it? No shit! Maybe that's because I've grown to block off all of my emotions. Seems like a good thing, right? Well, not when you're always having breakdowns. You know, those times when I disappear for hours to go on a walk, or sit outside. I don't love the outdoors that much.

Yes, mom, dad, thank you. I'm so glad that I've been emotionally neglected all of my life. Dad, you can't stand to see me cry when I'm hurt. You can't control your own emotions, let alone even think about mine. Honestly, I'd be a lot better off if you'd grow a pair and deal with things like the adult you're supposed to be. You're not supposed to just pack up and run off when things get tough. Do you even know how much that hurts me? My mom? I'm forced to completely ignore the fact that my father ran off while he was supposed to be in rehab. Wherever you are now, I hope you're straightening this out. I'm tired of not hearing from you for months only to find out a new secret. Okay, so you abused drugs. Okay, so your ex tried to claim that you raped her (We all know better than that, and she was only looking for attention. Get over it.) Okay, so you're an alcoholic. Does it look like I care? As much as I hate it, I still love you. What bothers and hurts me the most is not hearing from you at all, wondering if you're dead somewhere or making your addictions worse. Even if the rehab you claimed you went to didn't work, you should still keep in touch with me. All my life, I've dealt with your stupid smoking and drinking. No, I don't like it. That's why I'll never, ever do it in my life. (Another thing to thank you and mom for.) Still, the fact that you don't feel you can face me is SENSELESS. I told you before you left that I'd always be here - what happened to that? I can't BE there for you if you run away! I've tried keeping my end of the deal but I can't chase you, and you can't expect me to in the future. With or without you, I'm going to graduate high school, make my career, get married, and have a family. I don't need a father for any of that, and I've proven to you that I don't need a father to lose my first tooth, go to my first day of school, go to my first dance, or get my first boyfriend. I don't NEED you! I never did, and never will! You obsess over that fact yet you keep running away. You can't do that. Just because I'm upset with you, just because you have addictions, just because you're jobless, why would that matter if I still love you? It doesn't, and it hurts that you think my depth of caring is that shallow.

Mom, you've at least stayed with me, but look at what you've fallen into. You've been jobless for over a year now, yet you've been searching. You've been making things work and have tried hard. I know you care, and no matter what I know you're going to somehow give me whatever I want. What I realized so many years ago though, was that you're compensating for your lack of parental figures in the past. You're also compensating for the fact that my father isn't reliable. I don't understand something though: Why do you think that material possessions make up for that? You can buy someone the world but you can never buy their heart. I appreciate everything you do for me. I really do. However, I'm probably the worst person to buy things for. Why? I rely too much on what I feel. I could go forever without a cell phone as long as I had someone next to me to talk about my thoughts and emotions with. Where are you for that? When I was a kid, your detachment and over-protectiveness with me kept me sitting in my room, playing barbies, watching television, and coloring. I never had any friends and got picked on in school because I was such an introverted person. Any time I cried, you'd get mad and yell at me for being such a baby. Because of that I can't make friends with people. I just can't. I can't cry in front of people. I have to sit alone in my room, or, more often than not, leave the house until I pull myself together. The only relationships I have with people are a depressed boy, Sam, and people over the Internet. How is that healthy? I know I can't blame all of this on you but let's face it: We've never talked. The only time we did was when Amber got pregnant at - What? Sixteen, seventeen? - and you told me how dangerous it is. Any time I tried to bring anything up, you'd get bored or annoyed or angry and just walk away. Even if I tried talking to you about how I got honor roll again, how I got straight A's again, how I got my art placed in an actual exhibit, about my new ideas for my novel, anything to boast about, you never listen. You just don't care. I've been suffering with my anxiety for years, but did we ever get that checked out? My asthma! I don't have anything for it because I was never diagnosed. I've been trying so hard to tell you about my fucked up periods but you won't have any of that. I know, I know. I'm just being pathetic and whiny, and I'm picking at every little thing in my life and blowing it out of proportion, but that's just how I am, mom. I'm tired of being lavished with material things and nothing more. And what do you do whenever I mention ANYTHING involving time, space, or money? I'm just selfish. I'm just rude. Sure, mom. Sure.

And you know what, I'm tired of you looking for pity for things that happened to you YEARS ago. You dealt with the things that dad dealt with but reacted in a stronger way. You're stronger, I know that. You're dedicated and honestly a role model. I just don't know why you can't be more open to the way I work. I know I'm emotional - I'm reminded of that every time I shake from them or feel tears. It's not as if I can help it. I don't cry at the drop of the hat, I really don't. But I really think that emotional breakdowns are more severe than crying over stupid things like friends or boyfriends.

My siblings, I'm so tired of the two of you. I really, really can't take it much longer. You are SO ALIKE that I just can't see you ever getting along. You're both lazy and get poor grades, and both nearly failed this past school year. Who dragged your asses through the school year? "Thank you, Cara." Oh, I don't get a thank you? Ah, I remember, you're spoiled thanks to mommy. It's okay. Devon, I raised you. It's as simple as that. Whenever Larissa came along, I was old enough to get tired of you and left her to you. The problem there is that you're a lot more immature than I am. You wear your emotions on your sleeve, unlike I do. Violence is a must for you. I can't even count how many times you've physically hurt me. I remember all the bruises I used to have on my arms and legs from protecting myself, and for a while there I had bruises from protecting Larissa. Now that I'm getting less self-centered I'm trying SO FUCKING HARD to fix things in our family. You see? I try spending time with you all. I talk. I eat with you. I play video games with you. I swim with you two. Why is it though that right at the time I try working my way back into this dysfunctional family, that our mother withdraws even more? Yes, Devon, you're picked on. You're the middle child and you're a boy, the thing most hated by my family. You'll always be treated unfairly in this family but rather than taking your aggression on us and showing us the bad side of men that we're so used to, why not show your good side? You're kind, possibly the sweetest person I know. You're intelligent and extremely witty. Why do you have to hide these things with swearing and punching? It hurts me to imagine how you'll end up in the future. And Larissa, you've become the same way, except you've got more of a smart ass mouth that pisses me off more than any idiot I've ever met.

And to the fathers of these kids, I hate you both. My mom already had a rough past, and then she had to deal with an abusive boyfriend and a cheater. You tore that woman down more than she was already broken. And I can't even begin to explain how that's damaged myself and my siblings. I really, really hate you both. You're the reason I can't trust men!

To the rest of my family - I don't have the energy to explain to you how you've hurt me right now. I'm tired, and fed up. I'm so, so glad that I'm not the the type of person to resort to cutting, drugs, or any of that stuff when I feel like this. I really am. What's bad about that though is that I honestly don't know how to make myself feel better anymore. Even Sam isn't helping, and he was my silver lining for a while. I've become exhausted and lost weight, which we all know I don't need. I don't know how much longer I can take this, and I don't know what will happen when I've reached the end of my patience and strength. I can't see myself doing anything reckless, really. Honestly, I think that before I do anything, I'll go insane. Good job.

-Cara

*sigh* So, that's it. Everything that's been bothering me lately. I won't say I'm "depressed" but I haven't been feeling happy at all. I'm glad I wrote this though, because I feel like for the first time in a while, I've cried over something honestly. I think I kept telling myself that I was crying over this and that because I was afraid to look at what's really eating at me. Hopefully I'll get better from here, but right now I'm too exhausted to thing more on the issue. I'm going to bed now.

[Maeve]

*hugs Chu*

I really hope that this helped you to feel better, and if you ever need to talk or something, just poke me =^..^=

[Chu]

I'm feeling a bit better today. I feel more exhausted than anything right now. -.-

I'll hopefully be getting back into Mido soon because my friends here help a lot, but when I'm wrapped up in family things, it's hard to find time. I'm glad that I used this thread though. ^^

[Graymalkin]

*sigh* Here I go.
To : " Friend "

You know, I complain about you a lot on these sort of sites.
I have finally decided you deserve it, I am tired of your bullshit.
You tell me things, confide in me so I do the same.
Mainly because you were the only one there for me.
Now I find out you told my step mother I do not like condoms?!
What the bloody hell is your problem? That is something only I,
as her daughter figure should ever tell her.
Why? You do not even know why.
They burn, asshole, I still used them argh!
I just cannot believe that the one person I had to trust,
had to be the guy with the creepy obsession over me,
and cannot keep his damn mouth shut.

Another thing, please stop telling me that you love me.
Or the " I guess now I'll never have a chance with me..."
You know my "mother" used to think we'd be cute together.
Mainly because you were a nice guy and did not treat me like an object.
Well, now she does not think I should date you and how could I?
How could I go for you after your best friend just broke up with me at that point in time.
And now that you are doing all those awful things to your body?
Not just that but how you always give in to me, or give things to me.
OR, how you always feel sorry for yourself.
Also, I could not be with someone who wanted me to hurt them.
You also told me you need to be with someone you can hurt back.
Yeah no, I do not like being burnt, bitten to the point of puncture,
nor do I like cutting myself, or giving myself scarification.
You are splitting your tongue, that grosses me out you know that.
So why are you still trying to go on dates with me?
I say no every time, and you have to take breaks from seeing me?
So it is better for you otherwise you cannot keep your hands from me?

Hmph I would have assumed from the numerous times I have said,
" Do not EVER f*cking touch me like that again. "
You still do it again, you still kiss my neck.
You you... argh. There are not enough things to say about you.
I doubt there is enough room in this post for all the problems I have with you.
Although I despise you, I still somehow need to make sure you keep your yap shut.
You could ruin my life, you could make my family hate me.
So either you keep your mouth shut, or you will disappear just like you said.
I will make it so they never talk to you again.
My sister is on your face book, she doesn't need to see your constant updates of...
" Going home, getting high, work f*cking sucked"
or any of the other negative things, she is only thirteen almost,
CUT IT OUT, or GET OUT OF MY LIFE.
Why does it have to be that you're the only one who is there when I need anyone?
WHY? *growls*
I am tired of all your drama, you want sympathy look between shit and syphilis in the dictionary.

- End of rant for now -

** Sorry for that guys, needed to get out.
He is driving me absolutely crazy.
I just want to pull my hair out sometimes.
He also has this tendency to MASS text my family hoping someone will answer.
Argh.

[Vixie]

To: mum..

your a fucking joke, i hope you rot in hell for what you've done to this family. you've ruined everything, how can you just run off with another man and not even bother to tell us to our faces! your a coward and your no longer welcome in this house!

grow up or go to hell, your choice!

-Vixie

[Graymalkin]

To: Elder adults of the house hold.

You all piss me off so much.
"Do as we tell you not as we do."
Would be a fine motto for you seeing as all you two ever do,
it tell us we will not have anyone willing to be around us,
or want to have anything to do with us because of what we say or do.
Well, I could tell you literally four times off the top of my head,
that you two yourselves have done it but I bet you would deny it if I pointed it out.
Or create some bull crap story about how it was not really,
what you are telling us we are not to do.
Really grow up for crying out loud, not everything has to be your way.
"She is the most selfless person I know!" Well, a little self loathing,
and a little on the depressing side that is for sure.
Come on, like it was really my fault that before I even got up,
she locked herself in her "lair" and cried for an hour.
You know what arse face?
he also told me she was worried I was going to drop out of school,
get a boyfriend who turns out to be abusive,
get pregnant, and stay with him so I do not have to work.
Really? THAT is why you locked yourself in your room?
Ugh, first of all when I DID have a boyfriend I had protected sex.
And second of all, he is the only person I have ever made love to.
Willingly at least, not that I'll ever tell YOU that "mom".
Plus, I like school thank you very much, and I find working great.
Just working with you is a pain in me arse.
Yes I am paranoid, yes I am worried I will get fired for no reason,
when I finally get a job NOT working with you, but that is how I am.
Apparently people like me just fine, but YOU do not seem so confident.

Not even going to start on the "Man in the house" in this post.
I am getting to angry right now. *pulls out hair in frustration,
starts looking for the java maker*

Love you all.
From a temporarily disgruntled Mali.

[Weaseldale]

SHORT RANT. I CAN'T DO LONG. THIS THREAD SHOULD GET MORE RANTS LIKE THIS. JUST STUPID STUFF THAT YOU FEEL LIKE SAYING.

SCHOOL. I DUN WANNA, EVEN THOUGH I DO.

IT CAME UP TOO FAST. ARRRGGGH.



Because Ace doesn't have any big problems in her life.
Hopefully she won't. Ever.

[newdivision]

a sad rant

I wrote to a favorite musician of mine, asking some questions. He answered rather bluntly and it made me rather dissapointed...I guess they were stupid questions in the first place but still...I'm too sensitive.

[Graymalkin]

To self,

Stop being so self critical all the time, everyone else likes you so why can't you?
You're pretty, at least admit that much.
If you want to write a novel, you go right ahead honey.
Do NaNoWriMo this year, if not next year.
If you enjoy it do it again.
Re-watch all your Hayao Miyazaki movies if you need a lift.
You know how happy you get when you watch those.
Draw some more, you know you should.
Don't let your talent go to waste.
Pictures, take more of those as well.

*sigh* You need to be more confident.
Love always,
Yourself.