You... You think WHAT? D:

[Chu]

Wow. My boyfriend came over today and it was great. Then his sister comes by to pick him up, and whenever I see him out she sends him to the car so she can ask me something. I figured it was why my mom wasn't home, but no. She said that a friend of hers saw me kissing some guy after school yesterday.

WHAT? T__T

I've been cheated on; I know how much it hurts. I love him way too much to cheat on him. I don't even HUG any other guys, let alone kiss them. No, I'm not angry at his sister. She was genuinely concerned for her little brother. I just feel extremely bad for making someone think that I'd cheat on the only person I've ever loved. It just wouldn't make sense. AGH. I can't talk to him until tomorrow either, so they're probably going to start fighting because he's really sensitive about our relationship. ; -; He's never really cared deeply for his girlfriends before, so his family isn't too supportive/optimistic about us, and she was the only one that believed in us. Poor Sam. D: I feel so bad for him.

So discuss cheating. Have you cheated/been cheated on? Your views on cheating. Silly high school rumors that cause drama for couples. How love really does hurt. DX Anything else relating to my situation.

[Chu]

You guys probably think I'm looking for advice. XD I can handle things fairly easily, so I don't take advice. I'm merely making discussion.

THIS IS RESOLVED. :3

[Angelic.Demon]

Chu!

-hugs-

I'm sure he will understand, do you lie often to friends/ trusted people?

[Chu]

Pah. No. >.>; I'm one of those brutally honest people, actually.

IF I did do such a stupid thing, I know I'd tell him. It wouldn't be easy but he'd deserve the right to know. Still though, I can't see myself cheating on him. D: That's just so... horrible. It's like you're using them.

[Hiroku]

I may break something If I discuss this. . . >_>

[Chu]

Why?

[Hiroku]

cause of my last. . . relationship. . . over a year and a half ago. . .

[Chu]

*dances* Tell me anyway?

Or message me?

No harm can come of it, especially considering Sunday... Getting this off of your chest may help you out.

[Hiroku]

What do you think you know about sunday? Mrow? *head tilt*

Okay. . . so here it is. . . *takes a deep breath*

A while back now I ended a relationship of two years. After a while one of my friends of nearly three years made it clear to me that she liked me and the only reason she had never said anything about it was because I was taken.

A little worried do to a long existing self esteem issue and the thought that always lingers in my mind that I will destroy any relationship I am in a subconscious nature because I dont deserve happiness. So I tried to make sure things were taken slow and nothing was rushed into mainly so I wouldn't hurt her.

We had been good friends for that whole time cause she was very willing and happy in confiding in me and talking to me when she needed help. She was ( WAS ) a very open minded person and was willing to listen to reason over the years I knew her ( damn my cat gets all attention whorish when I start typing. )

So we began being a couple or whatever. . . and she seemed very happy and what not. . . so as the relationship moved on at one point she ended up telling me that she had feelings for an ex of hers. This came about because she was acting all distant and shit.

I tired to talk to her about it and figure out what was going on. . . she assured me that it was nothing and that it wasnt a certain ex ( one that she had slept with. . . the biggest relationship other then me with a guy that cheated on her )

So that began to look better then she came to me again when she started acting all unnatural and shit. . . So I talked to her again about it and she eventually told me that she was in love with him and didnt wanna stop hanging out with him but she still "loved" me. I asked her who it was and she said I didnt know him. . . I asked again and she told me his name. What I learned later is that it was her ex from her last relationship and that she simply told me a nick name rather then a real name. . . she though of that as not a lie and yeah. . . anyways.

We continued to "be together" until less then a week later when she decided to dump me. I asked why and she said cause she couldnt be what I "deserved" and giving me all this shit like she was doing it for me. . . while she carelessly threw out the word "I love you" and all that

Later I come to learn the reason why she felt she had to do that is cause she spent the night at his house when She was telling me it was someone elses house and that he tried to kiss her but she stopped him. Then again later she ended up sleeping with him and decided going into the detail of it being a total of three time that night and next morning and that she "still loves me" and going into more detail then I should explain do to on this site. . .for obvious reasons.

Now to top it off she came back to me for help with him. . .to tell me she still loved me. . . to tell me she wasnt gonna stop sleeping with him. . . but she would sleep with me too cause she loved me. . . She said she still needed me in her life and that she just wanted to help. . .

There is more but I am getting angry. . . so I am gonna stop. . . that was about a year and a half ago and I have been with no one since In any way shape or form. . . not to lack of trying to find someone.

[Chu]

That's just horrible. That... I... ><;; It makes me so angry.

That bitch was just using you! Hiro, you deserve so much better. Whether she believed it or not she's the lowest of the low. I hope karma gets her back and gets her good.

D:< People like that piss me off so much. They have NO respect for those around them and don't do anything unless they'll benefit from it. The scheming, manipulative bastards don't deserve any pity.

*stops before she rants even more*

You definitely need someone that’s more caring that HER.

[Hiroku]

I deserved every last bit of it. . .

In all honesty I am terrible for abandoning a friend of that long. . . she needed my help and I wouldn't and couldn't do it. . .

To top it off. Now I have gone to the point that I never thought I could reach. . . My anger has always been controlled and I never thought that I could harm a person unless it was necessary for protection of myself or another. . .

However. . . I have had terrible thoughts about her. . . she is not someone I can not see face to face without most likely ending up in jail. The other person is my biological father who left before I was even born XD

Anyways. . . I dont deserve anything more then what I get. I am me and I will live my life as it comes.

[Chu]

I don't believe so. YOU weren't toying with her. YOU weren't cheating on her. Sure, you've made mistakes but hers outweigh yours.

And what is this talk about anger? Usually people that supress it well will let it bottle up until it comes crashing down in the wrong way. *cough*likemyself*cough*

I think that good things will be coming your way soon. I don't know why, it just really seems like it.

[Hiroku]

I am a "good person" a "smart Person" I should know better. . . I should be able to do something about it rather then abandoning her. . .

Also. . . my anger used to bottle up then explode. . . but now I am numb most of the time ( until recently ), But whenever the numb would fade it was random rage about what I would do if I saw her. . . and everything was such that would be greatly against my nature. I have been told I am powerful and that people feel safe around me. . . but they know that I dont just hurt people. . . So yeah. . . Its anger that kinda worries me. . . maybe my mental state is a bit worse then I thought XD

We will see. . . main thing is I am trying to just be myself. . . not second guess myself and crap.

[Merelia]

That's a load of horse crap, honestly. (Sorry for popping up to say that from no where). But I just felt like speaking up regarding your situation Hiro. She's a selfish, inconsiderate individual. She wants her cake and eat it too.

I had a similar, not exactly the same, situation happen to me. The whole "I still love you even after I broke your heart, and that I selfishly want you back because I feel miserable without you" blah blah bullshit. It's all the same with their leaving, and their return.


Oh, and I hear you on the bottled up anger. I also get that numbing anger too. I have a underlying temperament that most find shocking once it becomes visible. XD

[Chu]

No problem with coming in, Merelia. This is a discussion, even if we have gotten a bit off topic. I agree with you. I just couldn't put that into words. DX

XD And Hiro do you realize that I ended up venting in your thread, and you in mine?

That's odd with the bottled up emotions between the three of us. While I tend to bottle up sadness, I don't get angry easily. When I feel it, I express it. When I'm sad however, I usually didn't express it. So whenever I broke down it would be immense, going insane sadness rather than a fit of anger.


DX I can call him in ten minutes.