A poem: Blueberry Bells

[Amaya]

It is also a song that I like to sing while I'm walking to school. The poem is still changing and being finalized, but I really like it how it is right now.

Kiss me
with blueberry bells
and chocolate roses
on gumdrop hills

Make it a love
that can be devoured
like butter cream marigolds
on a fine day

But make it a love
that will last forever
like soft dandelions
from molded white gold

Yes kiss me
on gumdrop hills
but keep me
close to your heart.

[glimpse]

I like it! It sounds really, really sweet. I can imagine it'd be a good song, when sung. (:

The only thing I'd think about changing would be changing 'but' to 'and', like this:

"Yes kiss me
on gumdrop hills
and keep me
close to your heart."

[Amaya]

Oh yes, that sounds perfect! I think I will.

Sorry for taking so long to reply... I don't know what happened to my brain^^

[Veriantor]

It's great! It sounds like a chorus of a song.

[forest]

I like it. it sounds like something that not only teens are looking for but adults are too. i really like a lot

[Iregyura]

Sounds like lyrics! (If anyone didn't say that yet...) I like! Excuse me for my terrible English~~

[Julia]

Exuse me for my English too^^ Your poem is very beautiful and sincere. It reminds me of a warm spring evening. I don't know why.