Spanking

[Transcendence]

Do you think parents should spank their children?
I think it is ok for parents to spank their children. If words can not get across to the child. I think that it should only be a tap though. I do remember I was only spanked twice in my whole child hood and it was for the same thing. I think it was because i hit my mother or something. You cant tell me I learned it from my parents because they only spanked me that one time after I did it. I never hit my mom again or anyone else for that matter. I think it is a good way to get the point across to a raging child that just doesnt get it. Its sort of more for the shock factor than the pain.

Would/do you spank your children?

I think I might if they were really bad. Sometimes it is the only way to get across to your kids. I might feel guilty though because I am a softy.

Do you believe that spanking causes repercussions such as character or social development?
No. I think that only if a child is truely abused is this the case. I think other factors cause a child to have problems with thier social dvelopment. I think with love and care a child who is spanked wont have problems. If they do its because of another underlying factor.

Were you spanked as a child?
Yes. Twice.
Where exactly is the line between spanking and outright abuse? (If you believe there is one.)
Its hard to say. I suppose if a bruise is produced. I think spanking is not meant to be down right painful. Its meant more as a warning as to this is what I mean buisness.

[Antheia]

[Veriantor]

Do you think parents should spank their children? I see nothing wrong with it. As long as they only do it when the kid does something wrong.

Would/do you spank your children? If they did something wrong yes.

Do you believe that spanking causes repercussions such as character or social development? If they are spank to much maybe.

Were you spanked as a child? Yes I was. Only when my parents thought I deserved it.

Where exactly is the line between spanking and outright abuse? (If you believe there is one.) If a child is getting spank because they did something wrong and you use your hand and not something like a belt it's all right. If you spank a kid for no reason or with a belt or a hairbrush or something then I think it's abuse.

I know some people think it's abuse to spank a child if they left a mark.

[glimpse]

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I have no clue.

I believe in spanking your children if you misbehave. I will readily spank my children. I was spanked as a child. I have no problems because of this. I don't know the line between the two, though. I don't believe a parent should BEAT their child, but I believe they can spank them when they're a certain age where they can respond to pain in a way that says, "I shouldn't do that again" not "mommy doesn't love me".

I would tell my child why I spanked them. Tell them what they did that wasn't okay. And then love them.

That's exactly what my mother did and it worked wonders. When she spanked me, I knew I had done something wrong. She never spanked me when she was mad though. She didn't let it get that far. And she would hold me afterwards. She was so gentle to me that I understood whatever I had said or done had upset her more than she had just hurt me. So I would try not to do it again. Because I loved her and didnt like doing things that made her sad.

Now, I have a sister. My dad was the one who spanked her. She believes she is a wreck because of it, and to be honest it has had a large [negative] impact on her personality.

He was rough. He made it a thing to fear irrationally. Whenever she saw him she usually got a spanking. If she did anything wrong as a child, he would spank her without restraint while insulting or guilt-tripping her while she screamed. For anything she did even remotely wrong. It had no degrees. And he started when she was too young to realize that it was a result of her acting up. She just assumed he hated her. So she kept acting up, confused and hurt and scared. Against me. She would torment me when we were kids because she thought everybody loved me more because my dad wouldn't hit me. I'm still kind of mad about that [even though it wasn't her fault].

Honestly, I've always felt sorry for my dad. He had it rough. He supported us. He had a dying wife [our mother] and two kids to support. We were spoiled, we bought and wanted everything. And he stayed with us. And tried to love us as best he could. So I stayed out of his way when he was mad. Didn't instigate him. And he didn't hit me. My sister wasn't as lucky.

So I've kind of seen two sides to spanking. :\ & I would still spank my child.

EDIT: SUPER LONG POST SORRY GUYZ

[Weaseldale]

Do you think parents should spank their children?
Yes, I believe spanking is right for certain things. Depending on the severity of the act, the severity of the spanking should be different. I do not believe you should ever spank your with a belt, as I know many families around the area I live in do. Spanking should be used for anything safety related. One of the toddlers I know now is only ever spanked when they do something that is dangerous to themself or others. Safety should be taught that young, and little kids need to know how serious it is.

Would/do you spank your children?
Yes, I would gladly spank my child if that's what they needed. I was spanked several times as a child, but I can still count them on my fingers. They're the only things that really worked for me. Timeouts were just games to see if someone caught me breaking the rules of them. Being sent to my room helped after the spanking, because it allowed me to think about it, which helped me at least.

Do you believe that spanking causes repercussions such as character or social development?
If it causes those things than it isn't spanking. Anything that would cause things like that to a child is abuse. I know that when I have kids I have to be careful about things like that, because most little children cry will cry when they're spanked, but that doesn't mean you can disregard their tears. And I know little children who have never been spanked who are absolutely awful. He is violent and he refuses to listen half the time at all. His parents don't want to cause anything to him, but they need to. His father was sent to military boarding school when he was five because of his behavior, if any of you wonder why his parents are like that.

Were you spanked as a child?
Yes. And as I'm sure you can tell, nothing serious has happened to me because of it. My parents are also very good at just doing enough to get the point through when it comes to punishment, so that might be why that is.

Where exactly is the line between spanking and outright abuse? (If you believe there is one.)
It's different for everychild. I don't think you should ever use anything other than your hand for spanking, and I don't think you should spank your child more than two or three spanks for whatever they did. You shouldn't spank your kids too often either. If they keep doing what you tried to stop, try a different meathod of punishment. If anything serious even begins to show up, then you are probably doing something wrong or your child doesn't respond to spanking. Afterall, some kids don't and you just have to find something else for them. But spanking, when it really is spanking, does work on most kids.

I would also tell my kids why I spanked them. What exactly they did wrong, like I would do for any punishment. I was never spanked out of anger, and it never went too far. Even if it made me mad and I told my mom I hated her I still knew it would all be okay after everything.

My dad doesn't believe in spanking, as his mother didn't either, so my mom is the one who would spank us. My dad was more effective then my mom though, because he knew what to say and how to say it to make us feel awful about what we did wrong, and to scare us into listening when it was safety related.

My little sister was spanked more than I was, but she turned out just as good as I did.

[Cougati]

Do you think parents should spank their children?

Yes I do. It's called discipline. If the child doesn't learn what's right and what's wrong, they're going to grow up to be uncontrollable little demons.

Would/do you spank your children?

If I had any interest in having children, by all means, I would spank them. I don't believe in this "hands off can work too" thing.

Do you believe that spanking causes repercussions such as character or social development?

Absolutely not. Child abuse causes character flaws. Child discipline does not. In fact, not punishing kids when they deserve it causes character flaws such as brattiness, hellion-like-behavior, and disregard for rules.

Were you spanked as a child?

Yes. Often. That was my punishment for everything. My mother spanked me with a wooden spoon, and I turned out the better for it.

Where exactly is the line between spanking and outright abuse? (If you believe there is one.)

I think if it has a cause, it's spanking. Going beyond a fair punishment, or spanking when the child has done nothing wrong is abuse.

[Berlin]

I had this discussion with Cougati earlier when we first saw the topic. And I mostly agree with her.

Do you think parents should spank their children?
Yes, I do. It is the best form of discipline I know. But it is for a certain age group. Younger children, who are still learning right and wrong, should not be spanked. But at least by age 4, they should know mostly what is good and bad. Timeouts typically don't work for kids this age. By the time they reach middle school, they should be to the point where grounding them (from hanging out with friends, the internet, television, etc.) might start working.

Would/do you spank your children?
Unless it's considered child abuse by the government by that time, yes.

Do you believe that spanking causes repercussions such as character or social development?
As parents we are required to make sure our children know how to behave in society when they are on their own. Most respectable and mature people I know were disciplined with spanking. On the other hand, most of the immature troublemakers I know, weren't.

Were you spanked as a child?
Yes. But I quickly learned to obey my parents and other authorities.

Where exactly is the line between spanking and outright abuse?
Like Cougati said, the cause. If the child has done nothing wrong, hasn't done anything wrong recently, or does not know what they are being punished for, I'd consider it abuse. I also don't think that belts should be used unless what the child did is that severe.

[Kasumi Ocada]

I think that any sort of physical punishment can lead down to more abusive situations just like a domino effect. First its a pat on the but and then you're finding yourself really smacking them hard before you've realized how you changed in that way.

I came from a very abusive family and I've had to work out many problems due to it. When I first became a mother I vowed to never spank any of my children.

This vow has since been broken. And I've found that domino effect (that I first observed before I even was a mother) to be more true than ever. Now I'm seeking counseling in order to make sure I can go back to keeping my promise.

[kaishi]

Do you think parents should spank their children?
Only in a situation that is getting out of control. I think unless there is a behavioral problem, kids are kids and in general they will listen within reason. I feel like sometimes spanking becomes an expression of the parent's anger rather than a signal of wrongdoing, and that isn't right.

Would/do you spank your children?
I would, but probably only if they had done something terrible. Probably not if they didn't know it was wrong though, that's not fair.

Do you believe that spanking causes repercussions such as character or social development?
No, unless it becomes more serious. I think being too lenient is just as bad as being too strict when it comes to future behavior patterns, though.

Were you spanked as a child?
Yes I was, with a wooden paddle with my and my two younger brothers' names on it. LoL, it was the MAM Special.

Where exactly is the line between spanking and outright abuse? (If you believe there is one.)
Like I said above, spanking as an expression of the parent's anger or impatience with the child seems abusive to me. Children shouldn't be afraid of their parents - even in punishment.

[Usakoneko]

[Kasumi Ocada]

I think temporary marks can show abuse. For instance- bruises are temporary.

I bruise easily and they last a while but my boyfriend hardly bruises and when he does it goes away rather quickly.

[Usakoneko]

[Kasumi Ocada]

I see what you mean, then.

[Aaya-Tan]

Do you think parents should spank their children?
Would/do you spank your children?
Yeah, actually, I think so, but not all the damn time. I mean, I can understand that adults get angry at their kids, and they try everything and nothing works. The best way to teach a child is through the fear of the consequences of their actions. It sure whipped me into shape right quick anyway. I don't have any kids, but if I do get any, yeah, I won't spare the rod.

Do you believe that spanking causes repercussions such as character or social development?
It depends on the parent and the child in question. If the child is abused (Spanked for every tiny little thing, bruises are left behind, there's bleeding, possibly broken bones), then yeah, I think so. I don't think that it condones violence or promotes the 'you made me mad Imma beat you!' thing.

Were you spanked as a child?
Yup. And for everything. It made me scared of my mother, but it also taught me that if I do something wrong, I best be ready to own up for it if I'm caught.

Where exactly is the line between spanking and outright abuse? (If you believe there is one.)
When marks (Bruises) are left behind. Red handprints are going to be a given. If you're going to spank your child, don't leave a whelp or a bruise or something. A handprint's kind of going to happen whether you like it or not, unless you're just tapping your kid. That won't do anything but get you a weird look.

Anything else relating to this topic.
Children under 2 years old shouldn't be spanked, in my own opinion. They're not intelligent enough necessarily to understand their current actions, not only that, they're so small, even a light tap could possibly hurt the child to the point it would be abuse, be it intentional or not.

[Nehssa]

Do you think parents should spank their children?

I'm not too sure on this topic. We had this debate before in my class. Before the debate I was pretty sure that they shouldn't spank their children. But I was looking at a child's point a view, since I was spanked before. My brother and sister was spanked as well. Yeah, we didn't really like it. But after the debate, I learned that..I guess it was a way to discipline your children.

Would/do you spank your children?

No, I wouldn't. Too much a softie. But who knows, I'm still young and I don't have kids yet. If I feel that its the only way to discipline my child, I will think about it. But right now its quite unlikely.

Do you believe that spanking causes repercussions such as character or social development?

Yeah. I believe when they grow older they'll spank their children, too. It's pretty much a cycle. I also think they'll be more violent when they grow older, since I'm a bit violent myself.

Were you spanked as a child?

Yes.

Where exactly is the line between spanking and outright abuse? (If you believe there is one.)

Abuse= Bruises, cuts, using sharp objects, etc.
Spanking= A hard slap on the butt. Really. . _ . Or a slipper.