Spanking

[SilverStar2]

I got spank only four times in my life time cause of my own error and foolishiness of my misguide youth as a child. Of course I didn't get many spankings.

My brother however would get into a lot of trouble and I would watch him get the punshiment from the whacking.

Yes I think kids should get spankings cause it does make them understand HEY I did something wrong I'm getting SMACK for it!

Most kids today don't get a lot punshments now of days of fear of child abuse from their own KID.

For building character it build mine cause I never want my daddy belt to my bare hide again and made me a lot smarter to think before I did something stupid or make a bad mistake that would cause something to get myself a tan hide with the belt or a switch.

Now a switch from some is a STICK, where you take the twigs or smaller sticks off the longer stick thus making a SWITCH. Oh gods I hate tht one time I ask for a switch man did that SMART! I would rather have the sound of leather on my bum than that stick!

So yes spankings are good things if done properly and if done in a correct way where the child will learn from the prosses of been spank.

[Tianfu]

Do you think parents should spank their children?

I think parenting is a personalized thing. So I think that if a parent wants to discipline their child by spanking, they should be able to without being afraid of having someone turn them into Social Services. I have a friend with a two-year-old. She spanks at home, but she puts up with bad behavior in public, because she's afraid of just that very thing happening. So I'm afraid the child is getting mixed signals.

Would/do you spank your children?

I'm a firm believer in spanking. My parents spanked me and as a result I was an extraordinarily well-behaved child. It taught me that bad behavior has consequences. I have a ton of cousins, and the younger ones were all raised with the "count to ten, timeout" method. They were all horrid little children. A couple of them straightened out by the time they hit high school, but then a couple of them became hardcore alcoholics in middle school. The spanked group of cousins, including myself and my siblings, never gave our parents any trouble at all.

Do you believe that spanking causes repercussions such as character or social development?

No, I don't think a swat on the behind has any negative repercussions. There is, of course, a difference between spanking a child and beating a child, which would have a negative impact.

Where exactly is the line between spanking and outright abuse?

Spanking isn't meant to truly hurt. It's more of a symbolic thing, a reinforcement that you did something wrong, there is a real consequence. I don't believe in using anything but the hand, since then it becomes a weapon. Belts and sticks are meant to HURT. I also think, past a certain age, pulling down the pants and underwear is abuse. When a child is three or younger, they haven't really been taught that nudity is a bad thing, so it doesn't affect them, mentally, more than a fully-clothed swat would. But by the time a kid is six or seven, they've been taught (rightly or wrongly) that nudity is a bad thing, so pulling down their pants has a definite mental effect.

[Fallen Angel_Hearts]

Do you think parents should spank their children? No, but in some familes its been in there for generations. My parents used to do it to us kids, but not so much now....
Would/do you spank your children? Absolutly not!
Do you believe that spanking causes repercussions such as character or social development? yes i do.
Were you spanked as a child? Yes =_= most often
Where exactly is the line between spanking and outright abuse? (If you believe there is one.)
i cannot answer that one....

[gioistegek]

I thought about something else when i clicked this forum....

Do you think parents should spank their children? No, Though some parents do.
Would/do you spank your children? Never, I'm raised without spanking and i will raise my children that way.
Do you believe that spanking causes repercussions such as character or social development? Yes.
Were you spanked as a child? Never.
Where exactly is the line between spanking and outright abuse? /

[KoyiTar]

I am not sure how well received I will be this is a bit of touchy subject with me

Do you think parents should spank their children? I have always believed that a parent has the right to discipline their own children as they see fit to an extent. Read my part about the abuse to see some of the stuff I have turned people in for.

Would/do you spank your children? Yes I do but only to get his attention and then I tell him what he is doing wrong and why he shouldn’t have done it in the first place. A quick thwack not a hard one but a swift one is enough to get a screaming child’s attention so you can explain to them what they have done wrong or what they are doing wrong

Do you believe that spanking causes repercussions such as character or social development? It sure didn’t for me. I think I turned out a much better person for it.

Were you spanked as a child? Yes I did not often and when I turned 8 that stopped and things were taken away if I was a little brat. Such as a favorite toy or my video games or TV I missed several episodes of Power Rangers and Sailor Moon as a kid for not being good.

Where exactly is the line between spanking and outright abuse? (If you believe there is one.) There is a line not a large one but there is one. A quick smack on the butt isn’t abuse it’s an attention getter for children and latter on in life from guys to their wives. That’s my idea of a spanking a quick smack on the booty gets their attention every time especially if they are screaming in the middle of Wal-Mart that they want this or that. Doing that is unacceptable behavior and most parents now reward it by giving in to the screaming child. So to me a pop on the butt or a quick spat on the hand is not abuse I mean when people try to take our food we spat their hands. So to me that is not abuse.

Abuse however is slapping your child across the mouth and telling them to shut up, punching them and bruising them to get them to behave, using a belt to spank with instead of just a hand and verbal disciplinary action. Using a paint stick, heck using anything other than just your own hand to spank with, leaving a child black and blue and there are so many things I could say here that is abuse and needs to be reported and stopped.

[Rice_Bunni]

i believe that spanking is not a sensible way to get rid of a problem. Spanking teaches a child that it's ok to do to their future children, especially if their parents say " It's JUST a punishment to stop you from doing bad things."(or something like that). Spanking can help a child develop negative personalities.

Children probably don't fight back when being spanked. You know how people say when children become teenagers, they start becoming rebellious? i believe this rebelliousness is the result of spanking and all the bad things parents have done to them. They probably become rebellious because they become sick of how parents treat them and believe that now that they are teens, they are capable of fighting back.

To me, spanking isn't abuse unless it's constant or for no reason. Parents just wanna find a way to punish their child effectively.

Although i'm against spanking, I also kind of know how parents might feel. Spanking is usually the only effective way. Being nice and talking it out might help, but not all children are the same. Children might take the punishment lightly. So even though spanking is bad, being nice is also ineffective.

However, Parents are the role-models of children. Children do what their parents do. So, spanking shouldn't be a solution to a problem. Parents need to keep that in mind.

[ecco]

[Athilea Majiri]

Well, my husband made a valid point. Normally when a child is spanked it is during a moment of anger. I agree with my husband that it is not right to strike a child in anger, just as it is not right to strike another adult in anger.

That being said, if the situation is such that ever after you have let your anger simmer away you believe that the child should still be spanked, then do so. If, for example, my son were to take the car for a joy ride I would not spank him right then, I would give my anger time to go away. If, afterwards, I still feel that he deserves to have his hiney smacked a few times for what he did, I would spank him at that point.

When I was a child I was spanked, and I don't know many people that weren't. Unfortunately, most people that don't spank their children don't really do any sort of punishment that has a real impact on the child. So most children I have noticed that have not been spanked or had -real- punishment of some sort are a lot more likely to have behavioral problems.

That being said, I think a good solution is a physically demanding punishment. My husband has a saying, and I like it. "Our son can be smart, or he can be strong." When he gets older we will use exercise as more of a punishment, much the way you see military institutions do. If he does something wrong, we will make him do push ups or run laps. That is a real punishment to most kids, and it doesn't involve striking them.

[Matt the Merciless]

I was spanked as a child, I turned out great.
I don't think it should be taken out of the way children are raised.

Though the idea of using exercise as a punishment seems like it could be good as well

[setsu]

I was spanked only once in my recollection, and I must say I deserved it. I got five good spanks from my stepdad, because I had the bright idea to light a bonfire in the KEROSENE SHED. Yeah. High risk of setting off an explosion and killing everybody.
All of my cousins were spanked, none of them are socially inept or weird or have signs of abused children..
I do feel it depends on the kid, the parent, and the incident as to whether a spanking is an appropriate punishment.
Personally the line between spanking and abuse is simple.. A quick pop for a bad thing (like my brother getting hit for biting my mother in the stomach and calling her the C word) is fine. A smack in the face for asking nicely for a lollipop at the grocery store, totally not fine. (I saw that the other day at the store)
Hitting for simple misbehavior is really unnecessary.

[TheMountainScene]

From a scientific standpoint, I think spanking is something primal (like the symbolic thing someone mentioned).
It makes the brain actively register pain with whatever they did to deserve it.
My mom was beaten with a wooden spoon (with holes in it) when she brought home bad grades or dents in the car, and my dad was whipped with a leather belt (with buckle).
I was spanked because my parents both didn't agree with what they had done to them.
I like to consider myself better behaved because of it.
But, I think the line of abuse is drawn when it is too much for not enough cause. I.e. The end no longer justifies the means. If a kid makes a mistake, they shouldn't get the crap beaten out of them, but a spanking helps reinforce that it's wrong though physical stimuli.
Sorry, that sounded overly technical :P Make sense though?

[TGPretender]

Oh, spanking... I have heard the gambit on this topic.

There is a time and a place for spanking. That is, spanking should be used for a child who is not old enough to understand a verbal recrimination or does not have the mental capacity to understand wrong doing without the threat of harm. Usually, by the time a child is verbal, spanking has no place in their discipline.

I do not plan on spanking my children after they are verbal. There is no need to teach them that violence is the answer, much as I'll have them trained in self defense. I believe time out and taking away privileges is sufficient as long as it is consistent.

As to whether or not spanking causes repercussions, of course it does. But I don't think the problem is as damaging as some make it out to be. The fact of the matter is that spanking, to a child, is seen as violent and it makes it know that you can use violence upon another person. That is why if it is used at all, use must be ceased early in favor of non-violent punishment. However, spanking a child alone will not turn that child into an unmanageable, violent person. There are plenty of other things to take into account.

As a child, my parents had differing views on spanking. My father was for it, my mother against it. I was spanked by my father but I don't believe it caused much lasting effect. Frankly, except in the moment, spanking doesn't have much impact.

To me, abuse is the intent to harm, whether it is believed to be "deserved" or not. Spanking, when done correctly, is not abuse. It is not about pain, but rather the surprise of a sting and the loud noise that makes it effective. Anything more than that, especially spanking hard enough to leave a mark for even a few hours, is overkill and bordering on abuse.

But that's just how I feel about it.

[TeaTheBunny]

My dad spanked me once. I think I was only 5 but I remember it very well. It was horrible and he never tried it again. I can't remember what the effect was I just know I will never forget it. I don't think it's a grand idea. At least not really hardcore painful spanking and especially when it's from frustration instead of a clear mindful punishment for the child's own good.

[Lady Lyria]

I suppose I'd be a bit biased since I'm still a kid who gets spanked relatively often, and so I don't really have any idea what it feels like to be a parent in such a situation. However, I will say that I don't think it helps too much, or at least it hasn't for my brother and me. It does keep us from misbehaving, but only out of fear. I do think it has affected us badly, but my brother more than me. I can handle it, since I usually behave. Unfortunately for my brother, he doesn't always behave as my parents would like. He has a strong sense of what he believes is right and wrong, so he gets in trouble for arguing with teachers at school and gets his folder signed. A typical day might be like this:
My brother is at home, waiting for me and mom to finish work and join him. Eventually we get home, and we do whatever things we have that night, choir, boy scouts, youth group, etc. At the end of the night, everyone is in the living room. My parents are watching the news and my brother is doing homework at the kitchen table. We talk and laugh, and it gets on my dad's nerves since it's hard for him to hear the TV. He yells at us, and so my brother and I shut up. I usually go to my room at this point to be away from my family, since I'm annoyed with being yelled at. Later, I come out for dinner, and after that my parents take out my brother's conduct folder. He's gotten 3 marks so far this week, and my dad is furious. I'm getting really freakin'annoyed at this point, because all I can hear is my dad's yelling and my brother making lame excuses. My dad jumps up and grabs his paddle, and so my brother starts to cry. He begs my dad not to spank him, but nothing will change his mind. He bends my brother over a chair and tells him to pull up his shirt and jacket. What happens next, I'm sure you can figure that out. My brother lays on the ground screaming and crying (he tends to overreact.. -_-') and of course it really upsets me to see my brother like this. I control my anger by scratching my arm as I trudge angrily to my room and go to bed early.
As you can imagine, I do not approve of spakings because they make my life miserable. However, I do believe that in some cases they are necessary. I just wonder what age someone is too old to be spanked, because I get spanked even as a teenager and it sucks. T_T

[Seren Meinir]

I actually think spanking is effective. (However it is only to be used for unacceptable and down right evil behavior. Such as tormenting animals, hurting siblings or people, and other such things.) I was spanked as a child and it never harmed me in any way. What I was spanked for was cussing and disrespect by running away. I believe however that you shouldn't leave a mark on your child. Instead you should just scare them by cupping your hand in such a way it makes a loud noise and doesn't actually hurt the child. In fact it scares them more than anything if you do that.