Respect: Earned or a Given?

[Kitty]

Thank you.

[Antheia]

Alright, here's my little bit on this subject.
I think basic respect is necessary for new users on a site, or people you've just met.
And deeply respecting a person is something that that person has earned.
I hate it, and I mean HATE it, when a teacher demands respect and gratitude, I mean what if I'm not grateful for having to learn complicated and pointless math problems?
What if I'm not grateful towards them for having to wake up everyday at 6:30 to go to school and be treated like crap by teachers?
In a nutshell, i dislike teachers, and how most of them demand respect from me, I mean sure, I'll give them basic respect, but I'm not going to praise the ground they walk on the first time I meet them, it works both ways.
Students are people too, and we deserve just as much respect as a teacher does. Teachers who act all high and mighty and abuse their power to make it so school isn't fun, and I've even got a few teachers who have told me school shouldn't be one bit fun, should be fired.
School being fun is what keeps me and the majority of other students paying attention to anything they say.
I'm doing the worst in the classes that are in no way fun for me to have to sit there and learn all day, which goes to show you why it should be.
If I'm forced to sit in a desk for 85% of my day I think they should AT LEAST attempt to make it fun.
But on the topic of respect, I don't think it should just be handed out, I don't hand out my respect to just anyone, and I've been straight up with teachers about it and told them I will give them basic respect, but I don't just give my full respect and support out, and that they will have to earn that kind of respect just as I will with them.


It's like this; treat others how you want to be treated. So if I treat someone with basic respect, than they should do the same, but if someone DEMANDS my respect, it will not be given out and the end result will probably be disrespect.

[Kitty]

If I had a teacher like that, I would walk right out of the class and drop it like that.

I had teachers that didn't appreciate the creativity I put into my school work. So they didn't give me the mark I deserve. I wasn't "realistic" enough. *Fume*

[Antheia]

Oh one time I got fed up with it and got right up out of my seat, turned and walked down the isle of desks, said loudly "FUCK THIS." and walked right out of the room.
I'm the only one in my school who has the nerve to..it's actually really sad.
Oh I know about all that bull they tell you, saying it wasn't "realistic" enough.
So what? I mean if you put hard work and dedication into it than what the hell does that matter? If it's realistic at all that should be good, and if it's not perfect that's just too damn bad.
They need to suck up their dignity and stop leaving it on the floor, if you ask me.

[Kitty]

Thats exactly my point. I could have said no, i'm not doing this stupid work. But I tried to make it it fun by using my imagination.

[Embla]

I personally believe respect is all a matter of give and take, To get respect you have to give it to others because people who show others respect usually get respected... if that makes sense *starts to confuse self*

For a new users case, being rude and obnoxious to people will earn them nothing but the other users distaste. But a user who is polite and merely wants to learn seems like someone who should be treated respectfully since at one point or another we are all new users, and users shouldn't be EXPECTED to know everything right off the bat. Even if to the rest of us its common internet knowlage that we have pulled from multiple sites.

[Transcendence]

I believe that respect should be a given. A person should be treated nicely and equally no matter who they are in race etc. I then think that if they do something to lessen them in your value only then do you have a reason to treat them with a little less respect. Maybe...say avoid their company.

Otherwise i think that no matter what a person does they should always be granted a little bit of the basic respect. For an example it is always polite to help when someone is in need even if you do not like them.

[riddle.me.this]

I believe everyone deserves respect as a human being, but from there you have to earn a higher level of it. Personally, if I don't receive respect as a human from someone else, my respect for them will decrease a bit. it's all based on their actions and what they choose to say.

[Aaya-Tan]

Respect is something that is earned PERIOD.

I am polite to everyone, and give everyone respect until they give me a reason NOT to. And thus is probably why I am friends with more adults and younger kids than those my own age.

The younger generation has learned to respect (And fear in some cases muwahaha) me, just as most adults I find I am on friendly terms with do the same. Most are in their late 40's or late 30's that I hang around with, and they treat me like one of their own just as I treat them.

The golden rule should hold true. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. That means, if you want respect, you gotta give some to a degree. If you go up to someone you don't know and start hanging all over them and get upset when they tell you they're callin' the cops, of course you won't get any respect. You'll get ARRESTED.

*Snort*

HAHA JUST KIDDING. No, but seriously. The only time I think adults should get auto-respect are from kids 9 and younger. Why? Because, well honey, last I checked we feed, clothe, and bathe you. Least you can do is not scream at us when we say you can't watch Spongebob until you do your homework.

Though, as I stated in another thread about respect, it seems there's a lot of these, there's a big difference between being respectful and benig polite.

Being painfully polite is something I always do. I'm always overly friendly to anyone until they give me a reason not to be. I have a three strick system.

First Meeting - Hyper nice friendly
First strike - Friendly, but arm's length 'no touchy'
Second Strike - Painfully Polite (Generally not rude, or obnoxious, but not exactly friendly)
Third Strike - Cut off all contact.

Respect is something you earn, however. Like I previously stated, I give everyone respect until they give me a reason not to. And not only do you lose my respect, you also lose my trust. I will not be overly nice and all lah-de-da to people who don't deserve to be respected.

But I also have every intention of knocking a few folks off their high horses when they need it. There's some elitists on sites that seriously need a dose of reality and I'm generally the doctor that administers the drug.

[Lavndrdream]

This is an interesting topic, one that I think everyone really needs to think about. To me there are different levels of respect.

An Example:

I used to work for a National Pest control company, a job I really enjoyed. We got a new office administrator (The secretary boss) who was in my opinion a spoiled stuck up brat. When the company switched computer systems, we (the lowly secretaries) were required to come in on a Saturday (a normal off day) and work. We did--for nearly ten hours. I made a comment that I didn't feel it was fair that my companion and I had to be there on our day off away from our families while she was sunning herself on a boat watching a football game. It got back to her. I got written up as "having lack of respect for authority". Needless to say it upset me, enough to this day I will not speak to the woman.

Why did it upset me? I have respect for authority. I respected her as my boss, but as a human being, she was a bitch. I had no respect for her at all.

It's hard explaining this to people my age and younger. You don't have to respect who I am, just respect what I am.

[Mika]

Respect is an earned privilege, yes.

However... I firmly believe that anyone upon first meeting is in deserve of respect. Unless they do something to lose that privilege, then it should not be robbed of them. We're all people.

Of course, they can earn a deeper degree of respect from there as their acts as people make you want to give your respect to them, or their actions might cause you to lose respect for them. Honestly? That person mentioned in the first post... opinions like that would cause me to definitely lose a lot of respect for that person.


Some people are arrogant and also believe that they automatically deserve respect because of a position they hold in life. A fair example is parents. I'm not saying parents do not deserve respect of their children, but there is a line. If you're going to lie to your children, treat them like crap, use them for government cheques and to take a stab at your ex-spouse... on top of beating the crap out of them every day mentally, emotionally, and physically.... >> I'm pretty suuuuure that person is no longer deserving of the respect of their children.

So I firmly believe that no matter who you are, you deserve a base amount of respect, and that everyone should keep in mind that judged by their personal actions alone it can go up or down from that point on.

[Iregyura]

I personally think that you should be given a good amount of respect, but the rest you have to earn it. Not by sucking up to older members or people, but by being yourself and being fair and all that. Plus, it's kind of like (not really at the same time) earning other people's trust. However, I like to think that I'm on equal to other people, and that I'm not a "newbie" and that I should do everything older members or people or whatnot say. Yup, some respect should be given but others should be earned.

[la Acuatico]

EARNED. Of course, when I meet people I give them the basic respect: I don't go and punch them or something. However, the rest of my respect for them have to be earned by their actions, and my impression on them. I never heard of anybody just thinking that they could have all the respect in the world by being a spoiled brat. Honestly. Respect is also categorized by age. The older the people are, more basic respect should be given. You can't (well, you can, but that's rude) compare me to a little 5-year-old. We have different perspectives and I am a lot wiser (or so I hope).

[Imaginative Sarah]

Well i think people should earn my respect if they want me to give it to them, and if your a b**** of course you won't get respect. which is why i don't understand people like that who tell me to give them respect yet they are sitting there being a straight up $@#$. Yeaaah :P lol

[NeoDarklight]

Personally, I think respect should be earned. For all new users, you should play nice with them, unless they turn out to be complete ********, in which case, you try to outsmart them in games of wit. For people who turn out to be generally good guys/girls, become friends with them and have intellectual conversations. For people who have no idea what they are doing, try and help them along until they get the hang of it, then try being friends with them. Of course, I may be being a little optimistic.