The Dark Path [Empy and Lark]

[Empy]

Taken aback by her brazen accusations, Cyzair sat on his bedroll but looked away, ignoring the cooking fish momentarily. “I am…not accustomed to having to deal with people who see the world the way you do…in anything more than passing. You are spoiled, but I cannot hold that against you, you are a Lady, nor can I hold that against you. I…” he sighed and ground his teeth.

“I want your help but at the same time know I should not ask for it…should not except it and did not at first. I did not know you, did not know what you were capable of. I see you are eager to learn and to help…most times…but I still feel you should not have to. That I should be able to provide all that you need. But I…” grimacing, he turned away from her slightly, his frustration and crumbling pride, evident. “What has happened to us…my nerves are on edge…my guard is up so high I fear you’ve crawled in underneath it.” What was he saying?! “I…enjoy your company, more now than I did before…than I ever thought to. I want, to help you. I want to give you what you want…last night, the bed…I simply wished to give you what you were accustomed to when you had the chance. I understood the gesture but…it was not one I could accept.” He turned his back on her entirely and rested his elbows on his knees. “I’m sorry if that angers you…it’s just the way I am. I don’t want anything from you…but, you seem to want me to…so…I should let you. Or else make a harder time for us both…”

[Skylark]

She huffed, annoyed as soon as he started to try and explain himself. Suddenly he acknowledged that she was a Lady? Before he would not even humor the idea because of her race. It was grossly unfair and made her bit her lip harder than she should have.

"You need to make up your mind," she told him from across the fire. "Just yesterday you reminded me you hate me and today you enjoy my company? You get angry when I sit around and don't help with things, but don't actually want me to help? You've given me chores and things to do since we started this journey together and I've been grateful for that. I need the distraction. And I've been trying, so hard, to do things in a way that will please you... but it doesn't seem to matter. Half of what I do goes unnoticed. Like how every time we stop I fill both our canteens instead of waiting for you to do it for me, or just getting myself some."

"I am bending over backward to not act like the spoiled little princess you've assumed I am from the very start. I'm sorry I stole your shirt and took a bath back at the inn, alright? I was scared and confused and covered in someone's blood. I HAD to get clean. It wasn't some luxurious soak in the tub. It was mad scrubbing to try and prove that I was still there underneath the mess."

She bit down on her lips again, tears welling in her eyes. "If you don't want anything from me, then that's fine. I'll stop trying so damned hard to meet your expectations. I can't seem to get high enough to meet them. Or is that you don't think I'm able to slip off my pedestal long enough to be of any use? We're in this together, Cyzair. We're lost in these gods-forsaken woods and all I want is to get out of here alive... by any means possible. There is nothing I'm not willing to do to make that happen, even though my willingness isn't enough for you... is somehow wrong of me. But I'm always wrong when it comes to you."

She shook her head a little. "I'm going to wash up in the river before dinner. Call me when it's done. I'd hate to get in your way any more than I already have." She stood up and stormed away, crying by the time she reached the river.

[Empy]

“I’ve never gotten angry with you for not helping with something, but perhaps helping when you didn’t know what you were doing. I might have given you chores, but you never thought to ask how to do them if you didn’t know, which apparently, there’s a great many things that you do not know how to do. But you try to do them anyway, which irritates me because then I have to do them after you’ve just tried to do them. It’s pointless and a waste of time!” he shouted, angry that she could not take his words for what they were…an olive branch, an attempt at peace. But no, she wanted a war, then a war she would get.

“You expect me to compliment and praise you each time you do a simple task?” he scoffed, “Surely you do not wish me to treat you like a dog? Oh good mai mai, well done mai mai, here’s a treat mai mai. You act more spoiled than you let on, you complain at the drop of a hat, at every little thing I try to do for you. And you DAMN well should have asked for that damned bath. I’m not made of money… he trailed off at the sight of her tears. His anger still ebbed, but seeing her so visibly upset forced him to try and control himself.

He let her yell at him, let her rant and rave and storm off toward the riverbank, his hands visibly shaking as he tried to control his anger. Cyzair did not even look this time, no hint of attraction for her lay in him at that moment and his eyes remained on their dinner, which had nearly burnt in all their argument. He had it prepared for her by the time she returned, already sitting by her bedroll so he wouldn’t even have to hand it to her. However, as the silence over the crackling fire, stretched once more, he sighed and spoke very quietly. “Try to understand. I am trying to help you…stay the woman your parents are sending, to meet your betrothed. The more time you spend with me, the more you become like me and I do not…want that.”

[Skylark]

"I wasn't aware that I'm allowed to ask you any questions or even start conversation with you without you calling me annoying for it. It's your own damned fault for being impossible to talk to! All I've been able to do out here is my best! And that isn't good enough. Oh no. Of course not. No effort is great enough to you. Never mind that I watched you fix my mistakes and did things right the next time."

She fumed at being called Mai Mai, but also cried harder still. He was being downright cruel now. Recognition was what she wanted, some sort of small acknowledgement that he knew how hard she was trying... and instead she got this shrewed mockery.

At the river, glad to be free of him for at least a little while, she did more crying than washing. By the time she returned to the fire she was freezing and her dinner had gone cold. She sat, not even looking at him, and ate the food... hoping he hadn't decided to poison it and just be done with her for once and all.

"It's not your place to control what kind of person I grow to be," she said quietly when he spoke to her again. "There is no way this experience will leave me unchanged, un-scarred. You can only protect me to a certain point, Cyzair... and dictating who I am isn't in your power."

She finished off her dinner, casting the last of the leaf into the fire, not caring to eat it without fish wrapped in it. It had been dry tonight, and she had tasted the charred flesh but didn't mention it. The last thing she wanted to do right now is insult his cooking. He'd probably tell her she could starve.

"Anyway," she added in a whisper as she settled in on her bedroll, wrapping herself tight in her cloak before pulling the blanket up over her. "I don't want to be the girl my parents sent from their home." She closed her eyes, though it wasn't enough to mask that she was crying once more. If the tears streaking across her cheeks wasn't enough to give it away, her occasional sniffle was.

[Empy]

Not looking at her while she spoke, or ate, or even when she laid down, the sound of her tears being enough to torment him without having to see them, Cyzair listened to what she said, and came to a decision. As he climbed into his own bedroll and blanket, he sighed, “As you wish. Ask, and you shall receive. I will no longer try to maintain your inherent lady-like ways. If there is a bed to be had, we will share it, but I will not let you sleep on the floor, that, you cannot change in me.”

Closing his eyes and pulling the blanket up to his chin, he continued, “You will work as I do. If you do not know how, you will ask, and I will teach you. All that I know, you may learn if you wish. I do appreciate your help, Nymai…” he breathed, saying her name properly. “And I will get you out of here alive, I swear it.” Falling to sleep was difficult after their spat, but it came eventually…as once again, did his dream. He winced and rolled onto his side, gripping the grass in his fist and tugging on it with the flex of his arm, “No…” he breathed, “not her…” but shortly after, his fist uncurled and his muscles slacked as the dream…the nightmare, passed.

[Skylark]

Nymai felt her heart sink at his words. She hadn't been asking to be put to work like a servant in training... just... that he take her a little more seriously. Or less seriously? She wasn't sure which. Whatever the opposite of the way he was treating her was.

She didn't say anything to him, not accepting what he said as an apology. And he owed her one of those. A big one. Otherwise he had a slap with his name on it the next time he tried to call her Mai Mai.

Perhaps it was because she was still so upset, or perhaps it was the cold, but Nymai didn't sleep well at all. Fitful, she woke several times, not always managing to get back to sleep immediately afterward. She heard what Cyzair said in his sleep, but it didn't make sense to her...

In the morning, she was still cold and tired. She toyed with the idea of building the fire up again but she knew Cyzair wouldn't want to wait around for her to fully regain feeling in her fingers, toes, or nose. She looked at him when he got up, but she didn't say anything again. It didn't feel like anything had been resolved.

She simply busied herself in rolling up her bedroll and fixing it back onto her horse before going to get them fresh water for their journey together. When she did make eye contact with him, her gaze slipped away again. The entire fight last night had left her feeling humiliated. "Is there anything else you want my help with before we leave?"

[Empy]

When he woke again as well, he nodded to her, without any verbal or visual response, and slipped away into the trees for a bit to do his morning routine. He firmly believed that he had been so grouchy lately, because he had slacked on it. His body was tired and achy, and his mood was irritable because of it. He was not too far away, of course, as he had resolved never to be again, and so she could see him if she cared to look, the graceful way his body moved, one with his sword and armor. Doing that for only ten minutes, which was better than not at all, as he didn’t wish to keep her waiting, Cyzair returned to the camp to see it tidied and ready to go.

When she asked him if there would be anything else he needed her help with, the frustration returned. She was acting like the cowed dog…he should never have called her that and the regret ran deep, “Nymai…” But as she had not warmed to anything he had said last night, he wasn’t sure how to continue, how to express himself. “No…thank you. Let’s go.” Mounting his horse quietly, he waited for her to do the same before they headed off once more. The trip would surely have been monotonous if not for all of their sparring, their spirits were both strong and proud, and clashed easily. However, that was torture, and Cyzair would have gladly exchanged their cruel banter with monotony. Around lunchtime, he knew they no longer had any time to stop unnecessarily so he reached into his saddle bags and withdrew the small bag of dried meat and the bag of dried fruit and extended them to her, “Nymai…I am sorry.”

[Skylark]

She looked up at him, hopeful, when he said her name but all he did was thank her... and that seemed almost petty after what he'd said just before bedtime. Wasn't this all expected of her now? He'd made it sound like she was supposed to do this work... and she had done it and not fished for a compliment or thanks in regards to doing it.

He'd said to ask if she wasn't sure about something, and she did, and... she sighed and mounted her horse, feeling that today would be spent in even more uncomfortable silence than yesterday. Today, however, it took him all the way to lunch to brood before deciding to talk to her again.

His apology seemed heartfelt, but she was still hurt by all he'd said. "So am I," she whispered, taking the food he offered to her and snacking on it as they continued to ride. Just saying sorry, however, didn't seem to kill the tension between them. She still felt like crap, even more worthless than the dog he'd compared her to being.

[Empy]

Her apology was literally screaming for him to say something else, and he knew if he didn’t, he would only make it worse. “Nymai…I should not have said some of the things I did, last night. I was angry. I’m…not the sort of man that should be escorting a Lady…I never was. And I am, torn on how to act around you. You are no barmaid, who lets me act as I please. And no Lady, who needs everything done for her. You’re somewhere in between…and I am confused as to how I should treat you. What things I should say to you. I promise to try to make the journey less difficult for you, than I have. But, it is difficult. What is it, you want from me?” he asked, almost in desperation.

“I don’t want us to fight, there’s too much of that going on in the world between our kind. You’re not a horrible person and I don’t wish you to see me as one either. If you can get your hands dirty, I can afford to act a little more civil…if, that makes any sense…” he trailed off awkwardly, shifting his horse over into the shade a little more as the warmest part of the day was upon them.

[Skylark]

As he rambled out his apology, Nymai sighed and stopped eating. It was obvious he was at least trying now. She looked over at him, her blue eyes full of muddled emotions.

"I want to be treated like your equal... Ever since you saved me I haven't had a voice. I'm not brainless just because I'm a Lia and I'd appreciate it if you would stop treating me like I am just sort of lost puppy that's following you around. You dragged me out here without even giving me a chance to decide if I was ready to be in these woods again... and now we're stuck out here. I'm stuck out here... with a man who balances rage and loathing toward me while at the same time promising to keep me safe." She looked away for a moment. "You scare me sometimes, Cyzair. It doesn't feel safe when I don't know if the next blow will from from the forest or from you."

She pushed her hood back, letting her curled tumble free in the little
patches of sunlight they were passing through. "I don't want to fight either... I just want to make it through all of this and I know I can't do that without you. Please... even if you have to lie, tell me you don't hate me... that there is more than just some noble sense of this being the right thing to do behind you wanting to help me through this."

[Empy]

And there she went again, blowing steam at him when he was trying to be nice. She was awfully entitled, for one who wanted to be his equal…he wondered if she even knew what she was asking for. When she finally seemed to calm a little and asked him to tell her she didn’t hate him, he realized this was all because he had said that, so long ago. And he had hated her, in a sense. Hated her for being an entitled Lia, for being a light elf, for being a woman that needed his help, that would force him to re-live a painful part of his past…but he didn’t really hate her.

“I don’t hate you.” He said in all seriousness. “I was trying to tell you that back when your foot got caught in that trap…that you…” he grimaced as he forced himself to say it out loud, “You scared me to death. And how could I hate someone…that I was so afraid to lose…” glancing over at her, he looked away abruptly, his eyes back on the bank, on anything besides her. He didn’t want to see what expression she’d give him at hearing that.

[Skylark]

She bit down on her lower lip to keep from telling him how horrible a job he'd done if he'd meant to tell her that he didn't hate her after he had freed her from the trap. He had even looked like he had considered leaving her there and going to get his horse... hadn't he?

Her shoulders slumped slightly and she looked away as well. "I don't understand you... at all. I'd be... glad... if you didn't hate me. I know I don't fit any of the molds you seem to think a woman like me should and I'm sorry for that, but I can't help it."

She kept her eyes ahead of them, not daring to look at him. The most she thought of his words, the darker she blushed. "I'm sorry for worrying you... and making all of this so much harder on you."

[Empy]

“I don’t hate you.” He said again, quietly, just to reassure her once more. “I hate our situation. I hate that I’ve gotten us lost from the road…that things will take longer than they should…that you’ve been in danger…” he fell quiet in the saddle as they rode, looking to their darkening surroundings.

“And I didn’t expect you to fit any molds…but I didn’t expect you to be so unique, either. You’re interesting…and spirited. Aelfryn is a lucky man. I’m sure you will bring great joy to his life…any man should be half as lucky.” Before she could respond, he spoke again, changing the subject. “Are Lia’s allowed to sing? I imagine you have a lovely voice and I feel as if I’m rambling…would you sing? We’ll break for camp when you’ve finished.”

[Skylark]

Alarm made her eyes widen when he mentioned Aelfryn. Gods, why had she ever told him his name?! To have it brought up like this, when other words would have been so much better... The hatred she'd thought had been coming from Cyzair turned out to be self inflicted, as Nymai got lost for a moment simply in scolding herself... for so many things.

"Sing?" She blinked up at him, breaking their streak of not looking at each other. "I... suppose I could... can. But..." She blushed darkly. What could she possibly sing to him? Her mind reeled through the things she knew best and finally settled on one song in particular. She'd learned it for the shadow festival that happened each year... a day devoted to giving homage to the drow gods so they might spare their anger toward the light elfs... even if it was only for just one more year.

The words formed in her mind and she sang them for Cyzair, not daring to look at him while she did. More than likely she was mispronouncing a lot of them... but she wanted to at least comfort him a little bit in hearing a song giving thanks to his people's gods for their mercy.

[Empy]

The request for a song was a distraction. Not only would it stop them from arguing, or pecking at one another, but it would give her something to do, and him something nice to listen to. Bartholomew should have thought of that. Though, to his surprise, Cyzair knew the song she chose. It wasn’t a drow song, but all drow knew it and though he smirked at a few of her mispronounced words, the gesture in song choice, and the beauty of her voice, kept him quiet until she had finished, they went a little long into the dark because of it, but surely Nat appreciated the song, more than he.

When he motioned for them to stop, he dismounted and went to help her down from her horse, and when she was on his level, he kept a hold of her hand and smiled, “Thank you. That was beautiful.” His eyes paused, lingering on hers for a long moment. “And it passed the time quiet well…” he said, glancing behind them for her to see how far they’d come. “I think perhaps I’ll try to catch us something besides fish for dinner tonight. Would you mind setting up the camp again tonight?” he asked politely. “I’ll show you how to light the fire when I get back? And I won’t ever be out of earshot…if you need me, don’t hesitate to scream.” He smirked at her before heading off into the trees.

Their luck looked up for the night in a catch of two wild rabbits. Cyzair knew they would make a good meal, but he wasn’t sure what Nymai would say…as rabbits were deemed cute by womenfolk. So he skinned and prepped them while he was still out of sight before returning and raising them high, “Dinner.” He grinned at her before crouching and showing her how to use the flint before handing it off for her to try.