Rewarding Bad Behavior??

[killerkitty]

I have a little sister. She's 9. (Well, she's more of a half-sister as she has a different father.)
My mum and step-father have no hold on her whatsoever. They tell her to do something, and she doesn't do it, NEVER, and they just ignore her after that. They let her run wild, doing whatever she feels like. She has dessert after every meal, doesn't often do her homework, goes into my room and steals things and looks through my stuff, tells my mum to do stuff for her like she is a slave or something, she has tantrums like three times a day, whenever she doesn't get what she wants, she influences my other younger half-sister to do naughty stuff with her, corrupting her too (which is a real shame, as she has a heart of gold, but she adores her so much she does whatever she tells her, and so is taken advantage of), and what do my parents do? NOTHING.
When I try to tell her anything, she runs to her parents and tells them that I'm being nasty to her, and I end up being the one getting punished. Meaning I can't do anything about this situation.
And once during a meal-time when she was having a tantrum about god-knows-what, my step-father gave her quite a large piece of chocolate to try and get her to calm down.

I am lucky not to behave like that, I must say. It's horrible watching my sister get corrupted like this (my step-father claims that it's just a phase she's going through and she'll get better soon (he said that 5 years ago as well)). I wish I could do something but what? I'm afraid it's too late to discipline her.

[ecco]

CALL SUPERNANNY

she can fix any child!

[KoyiTar]

Your example is one that I see far to often Killer. Its maddening and saddening to see that this is how people do kids now days. I have a 17 month old son. I tell him no when he is screaming and throwing a fit to get his way. I say that it is unacceptable and that screaming and kicking will not get him what he wants. For the most part her understands this and stops his fits.

Of course that is for now because he stays at home and doesn't go to a daycare. w=What is going to happen to my rather well behaved for the most part little boy when I have to put him in daycare and he sees kids throwing a fit to get there way and their parents allow it instead of say no that is inappropriate behavior. Is simply telling my child no that he shouldn't do that going to get dhs called on me because I want my child to be polite when he asks me for something. Instead of throwing a fit to get his way. The way the world is going I worry that is might.

[Athilea Majiri]

[KoyiTar]

Your son is two days older than my son. And I punish my son as I see fit for his age such as corners or spats on the hand nothing to hard just enough to say hey no your not supposed to mess with that. The thing is most people don't even tell there child no now days. Kid throws a fit in the store instead of saying no because of this we are leaving the kid gets what they want just to shut them up its not right. Nor is it fair to those of us that want to show our kids discipline and that there is a right and wrong way to get things.

[Camio]

I believe the change began when lawsuits began. People got into lawsuits when they observed a child being punished, and the parent, the disciplinarian, was punished instead. After that, many bleeding hearts, and those just after a fast buck via lawsuits, became ever more increasing. granted there is a fine line between discipline and abuse. I know it well because I was abused, beaten for things no one should be hurt for doing, like beaten in the head over not eating a grapefruit >.> Yet I knew when I was being punished for doing an actual wrong. I knew right from wrong because of how my mother punished me. My stepfather just used anything an an excuse.

Our current system of praising bad behavior is one of the reasons our prison systems are so full. It is perhaps even part of the reason why we have so many corrupt judges that are siding with the offender. For example, a man was trying to break into a home and fell through the roof. he landed on a kitchen knife. The man then sued the home owners and actually won.

[D.Morrissey]

My sister was raised a lot like that where just to get her to stop throwing tantrums my mom tended to give her what she wants. I think my mom had done that a lot because she just didn't know how to deal with my sister. Since my sister is older than me it was my mom's first child and my mom was currently working and trying to finish college. It just kind of came from the fact that my mom was either too tired to deal with my sister or she just didn't know what to do in the particular situation. Of course, my mom did a lot better job when it came to myself.

[Imaginative Sarah]

that's so annoying and me..if i ever had a kid I would be very hard on it. dude, you messed me up and made me go through all that pain,listen or your a** is grass.. .lol.