ADD/ADHD

[Chu]

I think that my little brother may have ADD, and I'd like to see him tested for it, but my mom won't go for it. She didn't/wouldn't believe that I had anxiety - probably still doesn't today - and I had to suffer for years with it until I turned 18 and could get treated for it on my own. Now, I see my brother struggling with school and his personal life, and although I'm no psychologist myself, I am quite intuitive and attentive and can notice signs of ADD in him. He's very close to failing 8th grade and I want to do all that I can to help, but I'm afraid that this situation is out of my power. I'm also afraid that I'm making a mountain out of a molehill here, or looking for an excuse as to why he's acting this way. I also think that he needs to talk with a therapist or counselor about personal feelings of dejection and neglect, but again, my mom won't go for it.

Is there anything that I can do to help him? I know that we don't have the same issues, but I just don't want to see him suffer for years like I did.

[KoyiTar]

IF anything encourage him to at least go speak with his school counselor if he has one. Your mom may not go for anything like that but in her stubbornness to believe that nothing could be wrong with her children she is doing more harm than good.

It would probably be easier for him to just go to his school counselor over the issue anyway. Because in most cases that I witnessed where parents just didn't want to believe something was wrong with their kids and the kid went to the school the school was able to convince the parents to get the child the help that was needed for them. It took a lot on the schools part but in the long run several of my friends with anxiety issues or even late onset ADD/ADHD got the help they needed and managed to complete high school.

Thats about all the help I know how to offer. I hope that it is actually worthwhile advice in this case. If not well at least I tried.

[Chu]

I was thinking the same thing. Hell, in the end I had to face my biggest fear of all to get my mom to accept my anxiety: Shoving it in her face. I kept absolutely nothing from her about it, and although it hurt her and myself initially, hell, I got into therapy, and I'm getting better. Isn't it sad to go to that extreme though? To victimize myself just to get a little support and acceptance? That's not how it should be.

I've been talking to my brother, but he's so shy that he doesn't want to bring his issues up with a counselor. It's embarrassing, I understand, but if there really is something wrong with him, it'll only get worse over time going untreated.

[ecco]

you should reassure your bro over the idea of counsellors
my last counsellor was the most lovely woman. it was hard and i cried a lot at first, but i opened up to her about pretty much EVERYTHING. all the ways i have been victimised in the past, all my anger about anything and everything (no matter how trivial or... "large-scale"), the things i'm afraid of, relationships with my family, then-present boy troubles, my bad "habits"... just... everything. i even admitted to her that i have trichotillomania, which... she didn't know what it was XD but i explained it to her and she was very compassionate and supportive about it. i hope your brother can learn to open up to someone like that, wether its a counselor or friend or family member. doesnt really matter - just with counselors its easiest, because you can always reassure yourself that whatever you tell them never leaves the room!