Should I take my chances on going to the play?

[Nova]

Okay, so... This monday, our teacher is making my class go see a play. The play is an informative play about sexual abuse and being forced/pressured into sex with older guys.
Because of some not-completely-resolved issues over events you can easily guess what is, I am not looking forward to the play at all. In fact, I'm not even sure I want to go.
But then again... I have to face it sometimes, even though the play is about resisting (whivh I coudn't due to basically no choice) and telling someone what happened (which I didn't until years after.)
I'm scared it will trigger some sort of rare anxiety-attack, but it also might not. According to the review in the newspaper, it's pretty strong material.

I'm all for facing fears and stuff, but like I said, I'm scared I'm not ready yet.


Should I go, and then just leave if it's too much, or should I call my teacher tomorrow and ask if I can please not have to do it? And should I tell him what happened, or just say that I have some trauma regarding the theme of the play and just leave it at that?

I hope this made sense...
Please, just say something. Anything.

[Chu]

I've always been one to believe that you must always face your problems, and if not, then you're a weak individual and need to work on self-growth before focusing on any specific issues.

However, in the case of such rare and heavy emotional trauma, it's understandable if you can't face the issue right away. While it's good to push yourself, pushing yourself too hard will only cause more harm than good and overwhelm you emotionally and psychologically. Only you can judge whether your ready, but if you want my opinion, I think that you are, but only if I'm perceiving you accurately.

It seems to me that you can cope well enough with what happened to talk about it, which is already a good sign. You say that this happened years ago. I also sense that you're a fairly emotionally strong person in the first place. (Purely opinionated with really nothing to back it up; it must just be your maturity.)

Think about your age here. I'm not going to pry by asking any specifics, and I'm the last person to make assumptions based purely on age, but if you're still emotionally immature as a person (under the age of twenty-four, which is when you reach full emotional/intellectual maturity) then you may want to wait to face this issue head-on. I'm not trying to say that you're emotionally immature because/if you're young here - I'm seventeen myself, and I realize that I haven't hit full emotional/intellectual maturity - but it's really something that you have to think about. If you dive head-first into an issue when you, as a person, aren't mature enough to handle it, you're just going to cause more present-day problems.


In short, think about your emotional maturity and, more bluntly, how much you're willing to cry in public. I know that it sounds really cynical, but if things are as they sound, that may be inevitable, and if you make a scene, it'll only cause more trauma.

[Nova]

Thanks.
Yes, I'm also usually the first one to assume a person is emotionally weak/immature if they have a lot of unresolved issues, but when it comes to things as serious as these, I respect it.

I'm 20, by the way.
I'm usually very good at resolving my issues, and this is much less of an issue to me than it used to be. I'm able to be intimate with people of the opposite gender again, we're talking both cuddles, kisses and sex here.
I used to feel nauseous and a strong need to cry by the pure sight of a penis for like the first 2-3 years after the incident, but I've worked on myself alot (And gotten some help from my ex), and I've talked to a few people about what happened.

However, I don't want to push it.
I don't think that I will have a strong enough reaction to make a scene, but if I react, it will make me go really quiet and possibly cry, and then get more quiet and antisocial until I can be alone (bathroom, or at home) and THEN I will react.
I don't think I will react, though. I don't know, but I think I won't.
I'm good at calming myself down. Hey, I have ADHD and almost nobody is able to tell.


A few years ago, my art-teacher wanted to have my class learn to do croquis (sp?) by having some guy pose naked. She told us weeks before, and the closer it came to being the day it was to happen, the worse I felt about it. I told her that I had strong issues with male nudity, and she allowed me to do assignments at home for that day.

So all in all, I don't know.
Maybe I'm more scared of getting scared.

But even if I don't have an anxiety-like reaction, there is a chance the play will put a dark cloud over my head for the rest of my day...

[Chu]

I see, I see.

It's up to you in the end. Maybe the performance will have an inspirational message that will help you gain closure in some way? Then again, you don't act like you need much more closure than you already have, so I don't think that you particularly "need" to go or "need" to avoid it.

That probably didn't make sense. >>; I'm sorry that I can't relate more.

[Sailor_Gunner_Cat]

Maybe it would be a good idea to have someone close to you see it with you for comfort if it's to much

If you're not comfortable or confident about how you might act or how the play will affect you I wouldn't go with a group of people you wouldn't want to explain your situation with

I would take small steps with close friends and just explain to your teacher the situation