Dealing with Jerks

[Keylaleigh]

There is a room in the college that I go to where the nerdy/socially awkward go to have a safe haven from the rest of the campus. Unfortunately, our room has been threatened.

There is a guy that comes in there that always manages to offend everybody there within ten minutes with racist/sexist/homophobic/xenophobic comments that he thinks are funny, but nobody else likes them. We have been trying to tell him politely that we are not fond of his comments (I mean, how many times would you like to hear "And that's why you should go back to the kitchen" as a response to anything you say), and have already tried politely to get him to leave. He is really dense, though, and hasn't picked up any of our hints.

So here's the question- how should we deal with this guy without causing any physical altercations? We want to do it as quietly and peacefully as possible.

[ecco]

have you tried telling staff that he is upsetting everyone and that he is going to cause trouble if he continues? people can only put up with that sort of behaviour for so long before somebody will snap.

so i guess first i'd try getting the staff on campus to try and get him to stay out. plus, surely he could get in a lot of trouble making comments like that? since in most places i thought racism, xenophobia etc wasnt tolerated (unfortunately people dont tend to take that sort of sexism seriously tho... but i know a guy who is a sexist pig, i have had urges to smash his face into a desk before now for the way he treates all the women i know...)


if the staff dont help, you guys are just gonna have to get tough on him yourself. not necessarily violent, cos its never good when it comes to that... but he sounds like he needs a much sterner talking to about this, cos he is clearly too thick-skulled to take subtle hints..

[Keylaleigh]

I'll attempt at that, but the college doesn't seem to want to help with anything. We've also had tons of reported thefts in that room and nothing has changed security-wise.

But thanks for the advice!

[Chaomiles]

Use his own weapon! Tell him his own jokes just to annoy him to death!

[Keylaleigh]

Haha! Unfortunately, I'm too nice. Others have used that tactic, though, and he was too blunt to realize they were a barb against him. In fact, he agreed with most of what they said!

Fortunately, he didn't show up today, so I didn't have to deal with him.

[Chaomiles]

If he comes, start reading a sports magazine. If he says anything tell him to shut the eff up and bring you beer! xD

[ecco]

or, rather than use his own jokes, you could try the opposite. insult everything he stands for, or get the others to do it if you feel too mean! XD

[kerryfox]

Ignore him. Just pretend he dosen't exist nor give him a reaction to any thing he says or does. Most of the time he is probably just looking for that reaction. Social shunning can be rather effective.

If he doesn't take that hint, I would recommend moving for a few days. Find a place out side and take up residence there for a few days or just start meeting there at different times then you usually do.

And if all else fails, and you feel like being terribly horrible, lock the door and wave.

I would find too who is in charge of the room and have a few words with them. And make sure things are getting reported to campus security/police.

Either way good luck with him....

[supermufin]

Yeah, ignoring someone who is too dense to understand anything is the only thing to do. The trick is getting everyone to ignore the person. Because as long as at least one person reacts, the person will continue to at least try and annoy everyone. That, of course, being the peaceful way.

[Chu]

I deal with people differently depending on whether I regard them as a superior to me. Respectable elders and people of power are my superiors. Normal people - including children - are my equals. People that choose to behave immaturely or act like idiots immediately become inferior. I deal with the different types of people like this:

-Superior - generally ignore rude behavior, rarely make comments, hang my head low and walk away
-Equal - tell them off then and there
-Inferior - ignore at first, realize that they're hopeless, and bitch

I have a pretty low tolerance for disrespect. If someone doesn't have the decency to show just a little, then they're pretty pathetic in my opinion.

[Lollipop]

I'd suggest ignoring them, as other have said

[ecco]

we are similar in that respect, Chu. XD

i rarely go nuts in front of someone but i tend to bitch alot about the situation, and if im pushed too far i'll go apeshit and yell and stuff at them :P as for equals, if they say/do something i disapprove of i'll get my serious face on and tell them off... i tend to get quite sarcastic alot too, i think. people know when im angry XD

[Matt the Merciless]

I realize this is an old post, but if a situation like that ever occurs again, talking to your RA would be your best course of action I believe.

[Hollow cost]

I have a high tolerance for jerks.
Personally, I'd probably just deal with it. >3>

[Matt the Merciless]