I'm in trouble. My lifes a total mess.... Pleasehelp me.

[laniparis]

lol, dances too

That's fine... anytime

Even just to talk about random things

[Ravenfeathers13]

You really are such a kind girl, thank you so much. And to all of you. You know, If I couldn't let off all the crazy demented, somewhat frightning and kinda wierd thoughts and feelings out of my head I would expload into a dark sad little cloud. All joking aside, I think you get my point. Its just little things, I know. ut I never say anything about them (much) and they tend to build and build untill I (sometimes) snap and start pms'ing or something. Its nice to think I havwe people who will read and help me through my problems even if no one will listen here. Its like a relaxing scary movie, it puts me into a pleasent mood.
[/smiles]

[Iregyura]

Awww....Thanks for the compliment But still, if I were you...I would punch them in the face! *sob* But my neighbor would probably stop me before I could do anything... But he's pretty good at fighting himself...Haha~

[Ravenfeathers13]

Haha...I got an email from my nana, who lives in calefornia... I'll explain the details now so you'll understand the letter.

I had a couzin joel, I knew him growing up for a while in calefornia. He was sweet and kind and we were close. I moved here to georgia about 4-5 years ago, and by then joel was grown up and had a little girl with his nice girl (now his wife). About three years ago, Joel was out to dinner with his family at a resturaunt. This gang tried to rob the resturaunt, and joel tried to fight them off to protect everyone in the resturaunt. He got stabbed to death. What my nana sent in her email has to do with joel.

"to my favorite grandaughter

my thanksgiving was ok i worked all day & then just went home because i was sick.i ate dinner then feel a sleep on the couch how boring is that? i am on vacation this week but i am going to court with aunt judy everyday. joel,s trial is l finally started after 2 years.i went today. when they showed the picture of joel,s jeans with blood all over them aunt judy started crying & had to leave the room for a little while.they say the trial might last until feb.the family is hoping the the guy gets life in prison.the judge says it was one of the most senseless murders ha has ever seen.please tell your mom the trail has started.well adios for now.

all my love nana xoxo "
I was so shocked, I thought the trial was done and over with but I guess I was wrong. I sent this back to her.

"Thanks for letting me know about joel's trial, its good to know. For some strange reason I thought that the trial has been over and done with. Maby thats how I somehow coped with the idea of joel passing away. I was folding my cloths and found my 'live once' tee-shirt for joel and How strange that it started now. Is it normal for trials to begin after so many years? Poor aunt judy, I wish I was there to comfert here,,,,I wish I could also attend the trial but I can't for school, calefornia tickets all that stuff. How's joel's wofe and his daughter doing? And hoe's his mom... (wasn't here name sherin?) I don't really know how to spell her name....I personaly think, not just because joel's my family and thats all, but the guy killed joel for no reason, just to kill and that I believe is why he should get life in prision. People like that aren't born that way, they learn and grow to be that way and its just wrong. I hope you'll be there for me too, so to speak. Thanks again.
~Amanda~ "

I have to pass the message to my mom, who also was close to him. I dunno how this will affect her.....

[laniparis]

Aww you poor thing that must be so hard to deal with, even if you weren't close with him he's still family and the horrific inhumane things that humans are capable of make me think of them less of beings and more like monsters intent on destroying and destructing even with no reason... I can understand self defence, if someone kills someone while trying to save their own lives, but to be struck down and be a total innocent is just pure evil, I hope the court brings into account his poor wife and child who will have to live their lives without him... I hope that you're okay

[Iregyura]

Aww...It must have been so sad! You were there, weren't you Don't worry though, I bet your cousin left this world with a without a regret. I know I don't know him at all, but I think he was prepared to protect you all...While I'm waiting for my neighbor to wake up...It's been a year. I hope he'll wake up in time for Christmas...

Hope we'll all make it through without any sadness...

[Ravenfeathers13]

No I wasn't there, and although its not right, I feel regret that I wasn't there. I know I probobly couldn't save him, But I guess the whole family feels that way. I agree, lani-chan, about what you said. My mom doesn't w2ant them to get the death sentence because she wants the 2 of the three men caught for this crime to 'rot' ad she put it. She didn't care it even seemed harsh, she feels that giving them the death sentence is like giving them a get out of jail free card, literally too.

Something happened two days ago, At my fathers job. You see, My fathers a cop and a very good one. He's handled drug users, drunken men and woman, even having top break someopne's legs, both of them to save that person from dying or getting hurt. Heres how it went...My parents woke me up at 5:04. Normaly, my wake up time is 5:25 So I was a bit confused. My mom explained to me that something happened at my dads work. You see, it had been raining these past few days and the roads were wet. There was this woman who was 'trying to get home quickly', she took a sharp turn and the car wrapped itself around a tree, to put it nicely. She had a little girl in the backseat, but oh it gets better! The mom didn't put her in the carseat right, it was loose (not to the car but to holding the little girl in the seat) and when the car impacted, the child fell out and was handing by her feet that were twisted in the child safty belt. My dad couldn't get to her in time and the child died of head and internal injuries. But what hurt my dad, what affected him the most, is that the whole time the little girl looked at him. As if pleading, saying 'help me' and he couldn't. The little girl was three years old. Now my dad had to go to this theropy guy at his work to talk about it, because this was the first time anything like this happened. and the reason why my parents woke me up, was not only to tell me, but my dad was cradling me in his arm. When he told my mom (which at first was realy hard because he didn't know how to tell his own wife something like that. My mom told him 'go hug your daughter who's alive and breathing in the other room'.
What su[prised me the most is how fast my fathers heartbeat was. When I heard that when he was clinging to me, I realized how much this woulc affect him, and for a long time too.

Yeah, and thats whats happened recently.

[laniparis]

OMG, poor him, I could never ever do a job like that, I have the upmost respect for police officers, ambulance workers, doctors, surgeons, fire fighters, even life savers... To be so close and have someone slip from right in front of you must haunt you something cronic. I doubt he didn't do everything he could but he would still feel guilty and really he acted like a hero. I bet he managed to keep the mother calm whilst he worked on the daughter too. Aww, I feel so sorry for him, I really do hope that the therapy helps in anyway that it can.

[Ravenfeathers13]

To hell with the mother, she didn't put her chiold in right, and her excuse only (she won't say anything elts [she's not even guilty] ) Is 'I was late getting Home. YOU DON'T GO FRICKEN 90 MILES AN HOUR ON A WET AND RAINED STREET THEN TAKE A SHARP TURN. My dad says speeding does nothing but let you gain seconds. Only meer seconds. Yeah, My mom siad its going to probobly haunt him for the rest of his career and possably life. His work is making him go to this theroopy at his job and the first question that the theropist ask's is "Do you need to take medication or drink yourself to sleep?" I know they need to ask questions, but right off the bat and strait to the point of their worries? When I heard that I wanted to punch this guy I don't even know. My dad was respectful though, answered the guys questions fullly and truthfully. But my dad is so puset. Its about the news and stuff. They don't care if a woman would die in the car, it wouldn't make front page news, But as soon as they hear news of a baby involved, they ask the most rediculious of questions. Like "Was this woman drinking otr taking drugs before the accident." And "How did the child die of such injuries?" And " Can you give us the gory details...?"
I agree with my dad on how stupid they act asking all those questions, they won't leave the family alone about it. Talking about rubbing alcohol in the wound. It makes me so angry on how insensitive these media people can be sometimes. My mom describes it as "Having the emotional range of a teaspoon" I say "EMOTIONAL RANGE OF A PUSH PIN TIP"

What do you guys think?

[Iregyura]

OMG STOP IT Soon I'm going to become your fairy godmother!! (Though I'm not that old...Yet.) That's all I can think. But then again, I'm tired from pulling an all-nighter. With my laptop. In the hospital. Yah.

[laniparis]

They should be pressing the mother not your father, how typical though... in all honesty more work should be done to watch parents are securing their children correctly into these seats... we have driving lessons why not child seating lessons??? If it saved one more life, that's a whole existance saved and not lost from a hopeless mistake and speeding.

[Ravenfeathers13]

THERE NOT PRESSING CHARGES ON MY FATHER OR ANYTHING, Sorry, typed in capitals by accident and too lazy to re-do it.-. Really. Its because thats the first time something like that ever happened to my dad that they're making him talk to this theropy guy at his work. Because it affected him so much. Your really not the fairy gotmothering type, more like my onee-chan (bit sister in japanese).
Yeah.......I haven
't heard anything new about the case, but I can tell their inveestigationg.....I'm sad about the father, I think I might ask to meet the father and leard about the daughter. I feel like I wanna know about her...Is that strange at all? I feel like it would bring peace to me somehow...Dunno why.

[Ravenfeathers13]

Strangely new things keep happining lately, thats why I ahve so many posts now. My mom got a phone call form my older couzin malissa (me-li-sa? I dunno how to spell it alo all to be honest) And her 6 week old baby's heart had stopped. I dunno what happened and so I was naturally worried. You see, the docters told her that syhe could never have children, it was a very slim chance. But jacob was born. (thats the little boys name). The daughter from her husbands before marrage (i forget her name, but she's also my couzin I think/) She's worried about her little brother and I'm also worried too. To think what thats like for a mother who had her firts child ever. And with the joel trial going on and stuff I'm afraid my family has become too stressed. It might explode (hopefully not implode) And were awwating news about baby jacob.

Please pray for his safty and servival.
Thanks.

[Transcendence]

my goodness you certainly have had your trials. You must stay strong though. It looks like you have matured greatly since you first post. That in its self is quite touching because even though you are going through hard times you are learning from them and growing into a much stronger person. I have also been through a lot in my life and I feel proud of the person I have become in spite of them.

I do wish you all the happiness that you can get from your life at this time. Keep your head up because your life wont always be this hard. There are good times and bad times and this just happens to be a bad one. Have faith and put a smile on your face.

[Iregyura]

Yes...And I'm back!! Sorry, computer broke So I heard somethings went wrong again...Oh my god I'm so sorry! You know, a relative of mine is a police officer. I definitely pay my respects, he has a gun (I touched it ). So just rant out all you want, I'm sure we're all OOK with it! (an extra O for luck and because I'm too lazy to delete/correct it