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Granted, the desk is made of broken glass and giant poisonous spiders!

I wish I had a car.

Granted, they're so pretty you want to keep them all to yourself and never show anyone else so you wind up wearing basic items anyway.

I wish everything wasn't ruined forever.

Granted, now all of your clothes and your grandmother's best linens are dirty because they were used to clean up the floor.

I wish I hadn't spoiled Harry Potter for all those people!

Granted you have lots of yummy things to eat, but they are in point of fact so yummy that you never eat anything else as long as you live (which happily for you is only a few weeks.)

I wish I could ...

Granted, they are so delicious you become paranoid that everyone you see is trying to steal them from you and eat them. As a result you go on the lam with nothing and no one but your strawberries for ...

Granted, you are now the world's worst piano player!

I wish I didn't have to wash dishes in a few minutes.

I wish Malverne had left me a wish to corrupt.

Granted, they've gone beyond "so much" and ventured into the Bog of Eternal Stench.

I wish I had a dime for every time I heard someone say 'I wish a had a dime/nickel/quarter for every ti ...

Granted, now your little toes on both feet hurt. Forever.

I wish I wasn't blind! (I typed this by proxy)

Granted, now you melt.

I wish there was another episode of Master Chef on tonight.

Granted! It's more interesting to drink because now it comes to "life" and constantly wants to arm wrestle you. Too bad for you if you don't lose you get your arm ripped off. If you do lose ...

Granted, she remembers to make a wish but the very act of her remembering invalidates your wish which then creates a paradox which only The Doctor can fix. Unfortunately he is (most likely) only a fic ...

Granted, you feel great, but you sound dreadful so no one wants to talk to you above a whisper and eventually you have to resort to using a chalkboard to communicate.

I wish for world peace that do ...

Granted. They talk so much your ear literally falls off.

I wish for more un-ruined wishes.

Granted, they are now termite wings and they fall off anyway.

I still wish clothing wasn't so expensive.