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Post new topic   Reply to topic What is your stance on attention seeking (potential trigger)
Amaris Kale



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 PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 4:38 pm Reply with quote        
Personally, I think that if someone is an attention seeker they’re doing it for a reason. Maybe they're acting out because they need help, maybe their scars are visible because they want someone to ask them what's wrong, or maybe they cry a lot because they feel awful and just want someone to notice.
People will talk about how serious suicide is, and then go and tell someone that their self harm is ‘attention seeking’, and that's exactly the sort of thing that put people off from getting help in the first place.
As an example, I hid my problems for 2 years, before they got so serious (the the point where my life was endangered) that I couldn't any more, because I was so terrified that someone would just brush me off as an attention seeker - a DOCTOR had done it to me before, why wouldn't anyone else?
What do you think about the whole thing? What are your opinions, have you had a similar experience with people telling you something like this?
I feel like it's relevant at the moment, with teenagers dying because they've been bullied and nobody has noticed, or they've been told they're attention seekers - do you think that there's more to it?

At what point does it go past being a call for help, and turn in to purely seeking attention? Could it be considered a problem that people do feel the need to seek attention?
Malverne
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 PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 4:50 pm Reply with quote        
I don't have much experience in this, so I'm just giving you my mostly-uninformed opinion.

Wanting attention is not a sin (I use the word sin not in a religious sense). It's nice to be noticed, at least by someone. Sometimes, yea, people acto out because they just want to be noticed, and it's the only way they can think of, and while that's not really ok, it's a symptom of an underlying problem. However, I think that constantly wanting to be the center of attention, just for the sake of being the center of attention is not nearly okay. Once it gets to the point where it's effectively gorging yourself on being the center of attention is when it gets obnoxious. If you're just doing it because you can't stand anyone paying attention to anyone else, that's not loneliness. It's narcissism.


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Amaris Kale



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 PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 4:58 pm Reply with quote        
Yeah I see what you mean, people who can't bear anyone else having any attention have a problem, and it needs to be addressed.
I mean that where mental illness is concerned, how far is it we can just say 'ok you need to get help', to the point where it's blatantly narcissism?
I know someone who, at his brothers wedding, threatened to smash a glass over his girlfriend, all because he got drunk and couldn't bare his brother having the attention, is that person ill, or just a dickbag?
Malverne
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 PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:00 pm Reply with quote        
Probably a dickbag, but it really all depends on the background. The guy could have deep-seated self-esteem issues, or he could be narcissistic. I'm not a psychologist, so I can't tell the difference.

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Amaris Kale



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 PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:04 pm Reply with quote        
I suppose you're right, only trained people can make that judgement.

I guess when someone harms themselves, and lets people see it, it's a cry for help, it just really depends on what someone does in order to get attention/help Confused
Malverne
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 PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:08 pm Reply with quote        
I think the distinction might be, in that scenario, whether or not someone hurts themselves because they need attention, or they need attention because they're hurting.

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Amaris Kale



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 PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:10 pm Reply with quote        
Malverne wrote:
I think the distinction might be, in that scenario, whether or not someone hurts themselves because they need attention, or they need attention because they're hurting.


Well, that's a succinct way of putting it! I like that Happy
Malverne
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 PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:11 pm Reply with quote        
I try. I like to think I'm good at oversimplifying very complicated issues.

On second thought...that's probably not a very good thing.


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Amaris Kale



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 PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:15 pm Reply with quote        
Putting in layman's terms isn't necessarily a bad thing! Gotta be hard writing essays though! I'm good at overcomplicating things, which is terrible!
Malverne
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 PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:28 pm Reply with quote        
Oh, I tend to be long-winded and rambly, which, yea, isn't good for essays, but I can be concise when absolutely necessary.

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Amaris Kale



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 PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:37 pm Reply with quote        
You don't seem very rambly! Happy

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Malverne
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 PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 5:52 pm Reply with quote        
It's easier to control in this format of communication. Ask anyone that has actually had to listen to me, or been in a conversation with me in a chatroom. And I can still get rambley in here, you've just met me on a good day, I think.

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Amaris Kale



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 PostPosted: Fri Oct 19, 2012 6:29 pm Reply with quote        
Well it's not always a bad thing! At least you can get to a word count Happy I have a habit of repeating myself if I'm talking Sad

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zenphor667x



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 PostPosted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 12:20 am Reply with quote        
Just to touch on the topic a little bit, thought I'd throw my opinion in here.

Attention seekers come in so many different varieties. The ones that self abuse and make it known, that to me can go at least two ways. One being that the person actually does need help and that's the most drastic way for them to be heard, or someone who self abuses and thinks they have a lot going on with them when it's not necessarily the case.

When it comes to anyone seeking attention, there always seems to be a "you need help" situation going along with it. I don't really think someone would seek attention just for the hell of seeking it unless they're really that full of themselves and just happened to give themselves a big head, but honestly that is also a "you need help" case lol.

For someone to act out for no reason, or threaten people for that matter, all seems like there would be back story to it. That person may have dealt with some serious issues in their lifetime, or had been put in a situation where neglect happened often I guess.

Attention seeking could also be like pranking or practical jokes, no? There's no reason for it but to honestly just satisfy yourself or get the attention of anyone else that's involved.
gore



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 PostPosted: Sat Nov 10, 2012 3:59 am Reply with quote        
Well, my personal opinion is that there are two types of "attention seekers". One is a person who has some type of disorder (usually along the lines of depression or even severe anxiety where it's hard to verbally communicate) and want treatment but can't find the proper way to show it, then there is the other type who do it simply for negative attention.

I have fallen under the category of lashing out at oneself because I was unable to verbally communicate that there was something serious going on. I was brushed off for most of my life, I have done everything from self mutilation to self destruction because I wasn't taught any better and I didn't know how to handle my disorders. I was incredibly bitter, angry, and I made no point in hiding what I was doing because I had gotten to the point where I actually believed no one cared. Unfortunately, I'm still looking for the right medications, the right doctor, and in general the help I need- but I've been able to lose the majority of the aggression towards myself and others because my family finally realize, "Oh damn, that's not normal, maybe we should check into that." I know I'm not the only one, there are millions of people who are going through what I went through, only now teens today have things like tumblr to vent so it's become more commonly heard of.

Now, for the second group. When you have something go mainstream on a site like tumblr, you have a lot of people (usually young teenage girls) who will do just about anything to fit in and get as much attention on them as possible. This, to me, is just a symptom of society because in the world we live in the more attention you get, the "better" you are. If something becomes widely known, it becomes trendy, and self mutilation/depression unfortunately became a trend. The best example I can give is this;

Teen A posts a picture of her legs after a cutting session, gives a heart filled note to go along with it and gets over a thousand reblogs.
Teen B sees this, wants more followers, so starts to do the same thing.
Teen C sees that Teen B is now getting more views because she began posting self mutilation pictures, and does the same thing.

I've seen a lot of this going on about many different sites, we see the post card videos on youtube, people go all out on their facebook statuses about being upset or feeling down to get likes, etc. It's not just online though, humans have always had the natural instinct to mimic what they see, and apart of this falls onto the realm of things that are generally negative. The one thing that is different from when we were kids though is that there is the internet, millions upon millions use it, and it's become a tool to gain attention and essentially fame. You can't really blame young teens to do things that are drastic for little reason when they are raised in an environment where the motto is "if it gets people to look at you, do it regardless of the costs."

That being said (and just to sum things up because this was rather long and perhaps a bit dull), I do believe there is a huge difference between a cry for help and a cry for attention. Is it a problem that people would stoop to the level of getting attention from self harm? Absolutely, this should not be accepted and people should not be praised for any type of self destruction, mutilation, or suicidal comments. After all, these are not things to praise someone over, these are things that need to be handled completely seriously because that person could be two sentences away from giving up completely and committing suicide. When you have people who will make a scratch on themselves or post a status about "just tired of it all, bye )':", it takes away from the help people could be giving to the kid who's really about to end it all. Negative attention seeking, even if it does lead to the positive result they are looking for, is still negative and it should not be accepted. However, it will continue on so long as we as a society allow it, and hopefully over the years people will learn some common sense and not mimic things that are dangerous and for many potentially fatal. Apologies if that was super long, I just enjoy discussing these types of things.
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