Should you reject a present?

[lexi luthor]

For christmas I am getting my Boyfriend a couple pressents... and I got him a couple things. I told him I got him some stuff for christmas. At first he was fine with it... but now we got in a fight last night, and he kept telling me to return what I got him, because he doesnt want me to spend my money on him. His reasoning is that I can return the items for money to use on myself.

My reasoning is, I spent time and put thought into this pessent for you so... JUST TAKE IT XD But yea, so should he let me give him the pressents or should I accept that he doesn't want anything and use the money on myself?

(poorly and quickly written sorry)

[ecco]

hm. thats kind of a tough question, cos i have been in his position before. not with boyfriends, but with friends - its like... i have no money. please dont insist on buying me something, because i cant afford to get you anything in return. they say to this "oh, you dont have to!" but most of the time... thats just them being polite. theyll still be disappointed when i dont get them anything.

[lexi luthor]

He's getting me like 6 pressents though

Which is why I'm like RAWR take the pressents!!

[ecco]

well in that case, i dont see what the problem is o.o lol

[Weaseldale]

Tell him the presents are important to you. I mean, you put time and effort into buying them for him. Or just tell him that you'll only return your's if he returns his? xD

[lexi luthor]

So I tried the first one... and he said in almost these exact words, "So what, I'm the bad guy now for wanting you to have money and not spend money on me?"

So then I tried the second one and he said in almost these exact words, " That's too bad because I'm forcing you to have the presents I got you, and... I'll... break up with you if you don't return the ones you got me."

And, for the second one.. Isn't that just a little extreme? XD It makes me laugh even though he was being half-serious. Don't tell him I said that, he would have a fit >_> hehe. But anyway, back to the topic at hand.

Soo... I tried both of those (Actually I tried them before you said something, which I should have mentioned, sorry Ace)

Can anyone see his point of view though, and maybe explain it? He is such a confusing male.

[neomattlac]

Men appreciate the gifts, despite saying that they don't want you to spend money on us, which we usually really do mean. Usually just disappointed that you did buy something after we said it. A lot of guys just want to take care of their girl.

[Freshie]

Oh I know how this is. >w<
Both for my [then] boyfriend wanting to hand me the world, without asking for anything in return. And even me wanting to get something for my friend, but him telling me not to waste money on him. But hes fine with gifts not spent with money, so like homemade gifts. ^^;;

If anything, make homemade gifts!..cause no money. :D
Though it'd help to already have supplies to make them. >w<
*has lots of craft things* <<

[neomattlac]

I love any gift, but especially handmade gifts.

[Weaseldale]

He's threatening to break up with you for getting him gifts, while forcing you to accept his? I hate double standards. >.>

It's a gift, it is not his decision if you buy them for him or not. If he hates it so much he can just ask for the reciepts and return them himself after you give 'em.

...jerk...

Edit: But yeah. I can't see his point of view at all, sorry.

[neomattlac]

I don't quite understand the extreme part of it, but I understand the core of it. If you have been buying him/ paying for a lot of stuff lately, he might be feeling really guilty about it.

[Freshie]

You know, that could could like my [then] boyfriend too. Like... fuuuu, I dunno now. >w<
He has been forceful in the, trying to assure me sense, that him giving me gifts and a wonderful life is what he wants to do. He wants to make me happy. ....And now this is a bad thing since we're not together anymore and I feel terrible. ;__;
I gotta get my life back in order. D:

I dunno about the breaking up part though. O.o
Has he had other previous relationships? Maybe something in his past is making him feel this way. I dunno.
For mine, hes had trouble getting the girl. Was always trying to impress girls I guess, trying to make them stay with him. He hasn't had much confidence with himself with girls.
I feel bad. ;-;

[Weaseldale]

I guess that does make sense. Still, it's the extreme part that bothers me. Why wouldn't he just say that he feels bad that she's been buying him so much in that case?

My opinion is pretty biased at this point, though. Threats like that piss me off...

[Reika]

Like your heart, a gift is yours to give.



........ that sounded bad, never mind me xDD

[lexi luthor]

Thank you all for your advice!

I think I'm just not going to talk about it with him till Christmas comes, then when we are in front of my parents I'm going to be like, "BE THE WAY, PRESENTS~" and go get them... that way he can't refuse >_> =D