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Post new topic   Reply to topic Hey guys, I need some analysis/opinions here...
Kimi_Delaetus



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 PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 5:29 pm Reply with quote        
Okay, I have a character (obviously).

I, due to RPing, and writing and my crazy imagination, came up with maaany different pasts for her, but I want to settle on one. This is where you guys come in--I want your opinions on which of the pasts sounds the best.

1 - Age 3, mother was committed to an asylum for severe neo-natal depression. Age 10, while walking to the bus stop, a drunk 17 year old careens off the road and hits them. The mom dies from her injuries but my character and her older sister survive.

2 - Parents are killed. Has no other relatives save her sister (about 2-3 years older) so she gets adopted. Those parents are then killed by a robber a couple of years later, but my character was at a sleepover so she is unharmed beyond grief. Sister of character is now old enough to adopt her, so she does.

3 - Mother left when my character was young; father was normally busy, so my character was mostly raised their sister and their best friend's mother.

Either way, because of her upbringing, she has no respect for people who are bad parents or neglectful of their kids. She also values life a lot, since in two of the three back stories involve her losing at least one parent at a young age.

So. Whatcha think? o.o

Tally:
1 -
2 -
3 - ll

_________________
I will not bow, I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall, I will not fade
I will take your breath away
...and kill threads.

Kupsy wrote:
I'm vegetarian, I'd be a crap zombie.
...
Fear the wrath of the vegetarian zombie!! It will invade your vegetable gardens and turn all the cabbages into zombie vegetables! >:o
Chu
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 PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 5:37 pm Reply with quote        
Honestly, losing parents at a young age is pretty cliche, but it can still be done well.

One is okay, but it doesn't really touch me. I don't feel sympathy/empathy for that character and don't much care about them. I'm very critical and hard to impress though, so my opinion shouldn't be taken as seriously.

Scrap two. It's probably the most common story of this type.

Three is the most realistic and I can (somehow) relate. It's interesting that their mother left, not their father. I think that I would care about this character. I think that this one would have some type of separation anxiety though.


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Add me on Skype! I'm ewitsChu. Even if we've never talked, just tell me your username in the friend request and I'll accept.

Kimi_Delaetus



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 PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 6:31 pm Reply with quote        
Thank you for the feedback ^^

I appreciate that you gave me reasons, not straight up "this one's okay, that one sucks and that one's the best of the three".

_________________
I will not bow, I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall, I will not fade
I will take your breath away
...and kill threads.

Kupsy wrote:
I'm vegetarian, I'd be a crap zombie.
...
Fear the wrath of the vegetarian zombie!! It will invade your vegetable gardens and turn all the cabbages into zombie vegetables! >:o
Chu
Assistant Admin


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 PostPosted: Fri Aug 06, 2010 6:37 pm Reply with quote        
Pfft, I figured it was too harsh and drawn out. XD I'm glad that you appreciate it though.

By the way, I know it's a little off topic, but I wanted to direct you to my boyfriend's shop. He's selling Kantu, and you can haggle on the price.


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Add me on Skype! I'm ewitsChu. Even if we've never talked, just tell me your username in the friend request and I'll accept.

Maeve
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 PostPosted: Sat Aug 07, 2010 9:04 am Reply with quote        
I agree with Chu.

1 - Not seen that often, but not necessarily appealing/ touching. Always depends of how it is written, but I don't know, just seems like a lot of bad luck to me, and not something that would make me appreciate/ relate to/ care about a character.

2 - Hm yeah, seen way too often. Again, and I guess it's related to the fact that it's over-used, it doesn't make me appreciate/ relate to/ care about that character.

3 - Interesting. Strangely, I knew a girl when I was young who pretty much lived that kind of story... except she had no sister, so she raised herself, and not with too brilliant results. But anyway, it's not as used as the other, especially considering the fact that the mother is the one leaving, and it's open (what if mom comes back, or if she met someone who knows her mom, etc.), which is good.

So yeah, I vote for 3 Wink

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On semi-hiatus all the time during school year.
I'll reply to post whenever I can.
PM me if you need a quick answer.
Kimi_Delaetus



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 PostPosted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 11:58 pm Reply with quote        
Sweet, thanks for the feedback ^^
As I said to Chu, thank you for giving me reasons and explaining why you thought three was the best.

I have a feeling this forum is going to become my place for idea-bouncing when I'm away at college XD

@Chu: (waaay offtopic...heheh. Phonetics.)
Uhm...how would I get there? ^^;; *still figuring out how some things run here*

_________________
I will not bow, I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall, I will not fade
I will take your breath away
...and kill threads.

Kupsy wrote:
I'm vegetarian, I'd be a crap zombie.
...
Fear the wrath of the vegetarian zombie!! It will invade your vegetable gardens and turn all the cabbages into zombie vegetables! >:o
Chu
Assistant Admin


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 PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:03 am Reply with quote        
I'm glad to hear that it'll get more activity. Happy

(Click on the word "shop" in my post. xP You'll have to hurry up and pm him because I'm not sure how fast it's selling.)


_________________
Add me on Skype! I'm ewitsChu. Even if we've never talked, just tell me your username in the friend request and I'll accept.

Sameth_Delaetus



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 PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 1:27 am Reply with quote        
Well, my plotbunnies will be happy. They can multiply to their hearts' content XD

(Oh wow. I TOTALLY missed that link...>>;; eheh...sorry...
Also. This is my mule. *fail*)
Martyr



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 PostPosted: Wed Aug 18, 2010 7:14 pm Reply with quote        
I feel the same as everyone else.

1 - I feel that this story has a bit of depth to it but you would need to develop the storyline more. Maybe take each event as a section in a story that details the highs / lows of living in the current constraints and the consequences / results once the have been removed / changed. Basically I feel this may be useful in a thriller/suspense-horror. To me this reminds me of the Millennium Trilogy (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo etc.)

2 - This storyline is shallow and really not a good choice. It seems like some Z-rate horror-flick movie plot that is regrettable to watch, leaving hardcore fans disgusted and pillow-hugging-screamers*1 laughing. The movie Prom Night springs to mind.

3 - This storyline is the most thought-provoking as well as the most neutral when concerning plot twists and genre. It immediately helps the reader associate the characters hatred towards bad parents as her's left her and did not provide for her, although I feel it doesn't really adhere to the death issue*2. Again pretty much I feel that this one is the best and un:fortunately I can't think of a similar storyline.

*1 I am one of these people, meaning that I can't watch even a remotely tame horror film as I often imagine myself in that situation and experiencing the events / emotions of the scene. I suggest you trying watch Saw and imagining you're the victim to better understand my mindset / overactive imagination.

*2 To better connect with the death issue maybe she adopts an abandoned puppy and looks after it in secret, but unfortunately the school bullies follow her and find the puppy which they then go about torturing / killing in front of her forcing her to watch this horrendous act (Now I sound like a bloody sadist) kinda Elfen Lied-esque.
Kaitoku



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 PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 6:13 am Reply with quote        
I like the second one. It would be nice if her sister adopted her. Big Grin
Amlynd



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 PostPosted: Mon Oct 11, 2010 4:32 pm Reply with quote        
I have to agree with the majority, and not just for majority's sake. The third option is definitely the most realistic, and while it might be a glimmer (or more) less dramatic than the other two, it gets you out of the morass that normally accompanies emotionally traumatized characters. Since losing a parent can really do that to a person, that might have wound up a plothole otherwise.

It's also the easiest to relate to, in my opinion. Nearly everyone has experienced tension between their parents at some point, and a lack of attention due to how busy either of them were. It's sort of a magnified version of that, and I think it will really draw readers into the character.

Smile It would also be nice to see another character saved from the role of tragic orphan. Unfortunately, a lot of people (especially in online communities) write those characters off fairly quickly, and without a lot of thought. It can make a writer appear lazy, if they're just creating the parents and killing them off with what seems like no development whatsoever.

And, like everyone else says, dead parents are a wee bit overdone, and while they can still be pulled off with style and class, it takes some doing.

On the matter of her value of life, perhaps she had an aging uncle or grandfather who fulfilled the position of male role model, and who has recently (or not so recently) passed away? That could make such an impact on a character.

Just my two cents. Hope it helped!
Kimi_Delaetus



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 PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 2:23 pm Reply with quote        
It did help, thank you.

I really appreciate the feedback ^^

I had never really thought of that idea and it is most definitely a good one. I shall see if I can work it into my charrie's back story...

_________________
I will not bow, I will not break
I will shut the world away
I will not fall, I will not fade
I will take your breath away
...and kill threads.

Kupsy wrote:
I'm vegetarian, I'd be a crap zombie.
...
Fear the wrath of the vegetarian zombie!! It will invade your vegetable gardens and turn all the cabbages into zombie vegetables! >:o
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