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Post new topic   Reply to topic "The Talk"
DrunkenShark



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 PostPosted: Thu Oct 29, 2009 5:42 pm Reply with quote        
> How old were you when you learned about sex? That is one tricky question: when I was 5 or 6, I would draw sectional view of a pregnant unicorn, with the baby unicorn in a simili-womb not connected to the digestive system (on my drawings of the time, only the esophagus, the stomach and a rectum-like bowel going out). But of course I had no idea where the baby unicorn would come out of its mother (I use to explain the mother's belly could split in half... quite gore Laugh ) and how it got in in the first place... I knew that, as for humans, a man and a woman had to be together and that they had to be naked: we had that old medical encyclopedia at home and I used to watch the pictures. There was one with two adult in a bedroom, taking their clothe off for example. I could also see in movies (such as the old James Bond movies XD) that, in fact, something could happen between a man and a woman when they were together in bed... But what could happen? I knew about those parts that make men and women so different (mythology books with naked greek dieties) but I had no clear idea of how the reproductive system worked until we were taught sex in school at the age of 10 or 11. Even then, the idea was quite vague until real biology classes...
So I never had the talk, even if my parents are not religious at all, I don't know why... or maybe I just don't remember Neutral

> How old do you think children should be to learn about sex? I think they should be told about from the start, but with unclear images such as "Mommy's belly is used as a living field and only daddy knows how to plant the seeds that will grow to be a baby" and things like that. The moment the kid starts to ask more specific questions, then the parents should answer more seriously.

> Do you think that a child should be told by their parent of the same gender about it? I think it depends if the kids like more the father or the mother... For example: when I have questions, I used to ask them to my father because he was more of a philosopher than my mother.
> Do you think children should just be taught sex in school? Yes: some parents don't do their "parent job" well enough, or some kid are not curious enough about the subject... With qualified sex teacher, children would know better about sex and would have clearer and more sensible ideas about the matter.


(Ugh, sorry for my bad english Duh )


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 PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 9:23 am Reply with quote        
I was around 12 years old and a public school student, those two together meant my parents were quick to point out the meaning between two adults connect their bodies together for fun time.

I can't really say, I think children especially in this day of age should have a understanding of sex around the age of 12-13 years old. I know parents refuse to believe that anyone that age is having sex but the reality of things is that they are and if you aren't careful, you'll have a 14 yr old daughter that's pregnant or 14 yr old son who's way too young to be a father.

Seems much more comfortable when parents of the same gender talk to their children. Personally parents telling their children together is fine, at that age you aren't as uncomfortable with things and you tend to listen to what both parents say. Having both parents telling you about sex brings out the importance of the subject.

I don't think children should be taught sex at school, but I do agree with High Schools teaching teenagers about condoms and sexual diseases out there. If we seek to ignored the problem things will revert to what they were in the 90's which was numerous teen girls pregnant and without hope, we may not be pregnant free but it is down and diseases are down. I still think schools could do a lot better, as well as adults so there's a lot of work to be done.
Helen



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 PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 2:47 pm Reply with quote        
Truth be told, my parents never really sat me down and had "the talk". xD We've had brief conversations throughout the years, but they never actually gave me the whole "when a man and a woman love each other very much..." discussion. xD

I had a basic understanding of it by the time I was in 3rd-4th grade (what is that, 8 or 9?) that much I remember...watching Friends and The Simpsons daily didn't help. xD I was a little too wise for my age, whether that's good or bad is up for debate. Could be why they never directly told me, whenever they asked if I knew what something meant I gave them the answer that they were about to tell me. x3;;

Worked out though, my parents did teach me enough about life in general to be responsible, I recognize that it's an important thing that shouldn't just be thrown around. Haven't done it yet, but I have the right person and when it's time I know the goods and bads that can come of it. :3 Even though they didn't teach me about the facts of sex, they were the most important factors in the moral side of it.

Health classes did teach me a few things, mainly about STDs and whatnot, but all in all I can very easily see that it's a broken system. I think the only thing that actually freaked me out was my first period (I swear I thought I had cancer or something before I learned that it's just connected to the whole sex thing xD) but even those are old news by now. xD;
Aquila audax



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 PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 10:34 pm Reply with quote        
Wow, what a topic. I always read books so I was aware of the whole thing earlier than when school put on a sex ed night. The awkward thing was driving home with my Mum who was trying to ask me if I had any questions. Her embarrassment was infectious. Pretty funny now when I look back. My sister and brother were complete extroverts so I knew all the body bits, and how they were different on boys and girls.

I read Clan of the Cave Bear series when I was about 12 so I had all the details and more.

With my kids, I simply tell them honestly when they ask. I don't do specifics, but I also tell them the real answer as to questions like 'why is the sky blue'. I use real terminology but I don't make an issue out of it. As to when to tell them, if they are asking questions then they are ready for answers. I think it depends on the maturity of the child too. Overwhelming them too soon can be just as bad as not enough information.

I will never forget the time that I was feeding my horse (a gelding) and he let it all hang out. My niece was there and she was 3 at the time and she asked me what it was, and before I could answer, my boyfriend who is now my husband, told her it was a 'pony maker'. I never laughed so hard in my life, especially when she continued to use that term whenever she saw a male horse, bull, etc.

And no matter what your parents tell you, kids talk, and more importantly, they listen. Even if you think they are not. If they are ready that is another story!
x_lilmissNINJA_x



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 PostPosted: Tue Feb 16, 2010 10:37 pm Reply with quote        
I was 10 when i learned about sex. They taught us in a class is school at the end of the year about puberty, but my parents randomly handed me a book called "Where babies come from"
And that was it. They remind me about not doing drugs and not letting people drag me down, but it was akward for all of us and we never really TALKED about it. I kinda did most of figuring it out myself, and kinda knew what it was already when I was 8 or 9. My little sister, 2 years my junior, found out when she was 9 because she kept asking me, and we still havn't told my youngest sisters who are 10. They watch alot of CSI and stuff, and they get it for the most part. One of them keeps asking what masturbation is an it's REALLY REALLY akward.
I think it depends on how they are brought up. We and my sisters all know of or about it, but were easy going and don't like to discuss things more than we have to. But, tell them before middleschool or else they find uot by themselves and that is MINDSCARRING.
I think it's also best for the child to be told of a parent of the same gender initially, but that both should at least talk to them about it for 5 minutes.
I think all children should be taught about sex in school, probably at the level I am now (Highschool freshman.) That is defenitely when it becomes more prominent, and sexuality should also be more openly talked about, since alot of kids have troubles with it and are very confused now.

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 PostPosted: Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:26 pm Reply with quote        
I was five an a half when I learned about sex. I'd stumbled onto my father's stash of Playboy magazines and saw things I really didn't understand. So, I went to my grandfather and asked him about it. He got me a picture book about sex and we read through it together (he is a psychiatrist and thought this would be the least jarring way for me to find out, and the most understandable.)

Kids should probably learn about sex by the time they hit around ten. It's in the media anyway and most likely, they'll have asked about it before that.

As for the gender of the parent, I don't think that matters. Honestly, it's more important for the parent that has the easiest time articulating to head run this kind of conversation.

School teaches kids the physical side of sex. It's the parent's job to teach them the emotional and psychological side. Kids need to know the difference between love and like and lust, and the schools do not help with that.
TeaTheBunny



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 PostPosted: Sun Nov 14, 2010 7:26 pm Reply with quote        
My first lesson came when my best friend and I found a book her mom had been saving to give to us when we were old enough. We read it together without telling her. Most everything I learned I learned with or from my friends. I can't remember anything I learned from my folks or school that I didn't already know. I didn't realize it was odd until one day on the playground I had to try and teach my friend what rape was.
Lady Lyria



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 PostPosted: Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:09 pm Reply with quote        
For a long time I avoided anything on the topic, but eventually after years of overhearing vulgar conversations at my school, I was curious about what really happened. I asked my mom if what they said was true, the answer was "Well, yes, pretty much" and that was that. I actually never found out anything from my parents directly, but from other kids. I honestly would rather have never found out, I don't see why I need to know. I just pretend to forget it, because I can try to be mature about it, but it still grosses me out >_<
Sunstrike



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 PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 12:21 am Reply with quote        
Quote:
I honestly would rather have never found out, I don't see why I need to know.


That's precisely how I feel. I find it sad that intercourse among teens is an issue. Maybe it's just a good thing that I don't understand though. Sweat

As for learning about sex in school, I'm not entirely sure that sex-education segments in Health class are really useful; I'm 17 and just last year, one of my friends had to explain that oral sex was... erhm, not kissing. >.>
It seemed like the sex-ed in Health class assumed that we already knew something, which, coincidentally, does not appear to work well for me.

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orchidwings



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 PostPosted: Wed Dec 01, 2010 10:15 pm Reply with quote        
> How old were you when you learned about sex?
I understood the basic mechanics of sex when I was just a little 'un, only 5 years old. I knew that boys had different parts than girls, though I'd never seen a human male's parts at that age, I had seen plenty of the male parts on monkeys on the PBS show "Nature." That's how I figured out how it worked; I saw the monkeys on Nature doing it and pretty much just applied the same concept to human beings. It made total and complete sense to me and I never needed to really ask my grandmother (she raised me) anything about it.

> How old do you think children should be to learn about sex?
My personal belief is, if they're old enough to be asking questions about it, then they're old enough to know about it, at least the basic mechanics. The actual physical and mental consequences of sex don't need to be discussed (though I do personally believe they should be) until the child starts hitting puberty and those thoughts become a concern.

> Do you think that a child should be told by their parent of the same gender about it?
I don't think it really honestly matters all that much which parent tells the child about it, though the child might be more comfortable depending on age with the same-gendered parent.

> Do you think children should just be taught sex in school?
I think that education is extremely important, and sex being taught in schools is a really controversial issue. This is where it gets a little tricky, because some children aren't as ready for sex education as others. Puberty though should be about the age when they're taught mechanics in school, so that they understand the basics, and perhaps some of the consequences as well depending on the age group (e.g. I think that 5th graders/11-12 year olds could be taught about STDs and pregnancy). Some of the more intimate things, like the effects of sex on relationships, could probably wait until middle school.

The truth of the matter is, whether we like it or not, kids are having sex earlier and earlier. We can debate about the causes, or we can do something; arm our children with knowledge so that they can make better decisions for themselves. We can't control everything that they do at every turn, so in the case of sex, I strongly believe that knowledge of the consequences would be extremely important towards helping children develop into strong individuals. If you try to shield them too long or too much, they could get into serious trouble along the way. As they say, knowledge is power.

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 PostPosted: Mon Dec 06, 2010 3:33 pm Reply with quote        
> How old were you when you learned about sex?
I was eight. I asked what Herpes and Aids was due to a 20/20 special. XD

> How old do you think children should be to learn about sex?
I believe when the start to ask questions. If they really want to know tell them.

> Do you think that a child should be told by their parent of the same gender about it?
No. I never, ever want to have a sex talk with a female again. My mother was very callous about it. I believe it should be both parents to back each other up. That way one can be cold the other warm and knowledgeable.

> Do you think children should just be taught sex in school?
YES! After our sex education teacher retired our school had this huge baby boom. However I think the class should require training and experience before they are able to teach such a controversial subject.

> Anything you wish to add for this topic.
Not Really.
Imaginative Sarah



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 PostPosted: Thu Apr 21, 2011 3:22 pm Reply with quote        
My mom told us the truth,when we was little itty bitty. of course we only really knew what it meant when we got to a age to actually understand it.
superbinka



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 PostPosted: Mon Sep 23, 2013 5:36 am Reply with quote        
I think it shouldn't have to be a big deal. If they ask, tell them. It's not embarrassing, its a fact of life. If you make it a big gross thing, then kids will see it as a big gross thing.
Mock



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 PostPosted: Tue Oct 01, 2013 12:14 am Reply with quote        
> How old were you when you learned about sex?
I can't remember exactly. I knew the mechanics of it when I saw two monkeys mating on a nature programme, and asked my mum about it (she was a science teacher at the time). We also had several human body books around the house. Because of this, I always considered it a biological necessity for reproduction, not something pleasurable or desirable.

> How old do you think children should be to learn about sex?
If they're old enough to ask, they're old enough to know. If they don't ask before around eleven, explain it then.

> Do you think that a child should be told by their parent of the same gender about it?
It shouldn't really be necessary if you approach the subject scientifically, but if one parent is better at explaining things, than that parent should.

> Do you think children should just be taught sex in school?
I had the sex education classes from the last year of intermediate to the second year of high school (that might not make sense to non-Kiwis). Some parents neglect to explain it properly, so I think schools should teach it at about 12-13.


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 PostPosted: Tue May 26, 2015 11:32 am Reply with quote        
Hmm.... I didn't really know about sex or where babies came from but I had a vague idea since when I used to live in Jamaica my "cousins" were boy crazy, over time they'd soon grow bellies and have babies so I at least had the idea that it had something to do with men.

I honestly didn't care for the subject that much. Neither did I for people so I mostly just focused on writing stories. I learned about it later when I was in the sixth or fifth grade I think?

A child should be given the talk when they reach middle school I think. This generation can be... pretty fast.

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