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Post new topic   Reply to topic I hate how some people demand respect from others.
Antheia



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 PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 4:09 pm Reply with quote        
I've seen a lot of posts and topics that discuss the topic of respect.
My main issue with this is the battle for adults to get respect from kids or teens.

First off, I'd say that demanding respect from anyone, regardless of age, gender, race, etc., is dumb, personally. But that may just be me.
Basic respect should be given upon meeting a person, and that goes for you adults as well! Us kids don't like being disrespected just as much as you don't like being disrespected. (:
Second off, if you give someone basic respect, they should give it back, but don't expect deep respect and gratitude, that is the type of respect that is earned.

I'm not trying to offend anyone, by the way. I'm just trying to post my personal opinion on this and see who agrees or disagrees with me.

What are your views on this?

Catghost
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 PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 4:49 pm Reply with quote        
I agree somewhat. I do believe elders(that is - people over 40 and are respected people in the community ;) should be given more respect then, say, your 20 year old friend you just met.
But to a degree.

I get so upset when someone who is older than me acts as though I should automatically give them respect and everything they say is right and if I say something that is against what they've said I'm automatically "wrong", or I'm being "rebellious" no matter how valid my statement was.
Just because I have "teen" in my age does not make me a rebellious immature punk who is blind and cannot make her own decisions without consulting her "peers".
I have met 13 year olds who act more mature then some of these so called "adults".
Just goes to show maturity is not bound by age like so many people tend to believe.

</end rant>

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 PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 5:05 pm Reply with quote        
Catghost wrote:
I agree somewhat. I do believe elders(that is - people over 40 and are respected people in the community ;) should be given more respect then, say, your 20 year old friend you just met.
But to a degree.

I get so upset when someone who is older than me acts as though I should automatically give them respect and everything they say is right and if I say something that is against what they've said I'm automatically "wrong", or I'm being "rebellious" no matter how valid my statement was.
Just because I have "teen" in my age does not make me a rebellious immature punk who is blind and cannot make her own decisions without consulting her "peers".
I have met 13 year olds who act more mature then some of these so called "adults".
Just goes to show maturity is not bound by age like so many people tend to believe.

</end>

I agree 100%.
I have met people younger than me who are just as mature.
I'm 14(soon to be 15, on may 17th, actually :D), and I'm pretty mature, I'd say, compared to some of my friends.
But yes, elders in the community, who are respected members, should be treated with a different, higher, level of respect than say a 20 year old.
My definition of adult is technically someone in the generation above me.
Like my parents for example.
Although I believe that if someone does not give you basic respect than they do not deserve even basic respect, but that you should be courteous and give it to them anyhow, just to show that you are not at their level, and are, in fact, above that.


If you don't mind me asking, Catghost, how old are you?
You stated that you have 'teen' in your name, and I'm just curious.
I'm pretty sure it's 18, or even more probable yet, 19. But those are just hunches.

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 PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2009 5:35 pm Reply with quote        
I have to agree in a way. Because I think that sometimes its hard for grown up to treat kids with respect because they are younger than then and so adults asume they are less mature. This isnt always the case. I try to treat everyone with a very high respect even kids. I talk to them the way I would any one else. It is just the subject matter that is differnt.
Chu
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 PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2009 12:42 am Reply with quote        
What you pointed out, I have to say, is probably the most necessary form of respect there is. To me, respect is nothing more than being civil with and slightly empathizing with someone. It's being courteous and shaking their hand when you meet them, rather than rolling your eyes and muttering. It's acknowledging whenever you cause them discomfort, apologizing, and attempting to mend the situation.

However, I don't believe in complete admiration upon first meeting, especially for "common" people. I have very tightly maintained views of superior and inferior people, and even if I give my utmost respect to any adult I meet, I know when they don't deserve it. Why do I do this? I was (and am; I'm sixteen) raised in a house with rules like: "I'm older than you, bow down to me." I don't mind this perspective though, because it obeying an elder truly does get me far in just about any social thing I do.

However, being your superior, and wanting to deserve that respect, adults or they should give a degree of it back to you.

I think I understand what you're saying. "Respect" is one thing; "admiration" is another. It's a natural human instinct to want to be acknowledged and revered by your peers, or anyone for that matter. Sadly, some people believe that as they grow up or climb the social latter, they're automatically supposed to be given more admiration, or respect in their distorted minds.


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 PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2009 10:26 am Reply with quote        
Chu wrote:
What you pointed out, I have to say, is probably the most necessary form of respect there is. To me, respect is nothing more than being civil with and slightly empathizing with someone. It's being courteous and shaking their hand when you meet them, rather than rolling your eyes and muttering. It's acknowledging whenever you cause them discomfort, apologizing, and attempting to mend the situation.

However, I don't believe in complete admiration upon first meeting, especially for "common" people. I have very tightly maintained views of superior and inferior people, and even if I give my utmost respect to any adult I meet, I know when they don't deserve it. Why do I do this? I was (and am; I'm sixteen) raised in a house with rules like: "I'm older than you, bow down to me." I don't mind this perspective though, because it obeying an elder truly does get me far in just about any social thing I do.

However, being your superior, and wanting to deserve that respect, adults or they should give a degree of it back to you.

I think I understand what you're saying. "Respect" is one thing; "admiration" is another. It's a natural human instinct to want to be acknowledged and revered by your peers, or anyone for that matter. Sadly, some people believe that as they grow up or climb the social latter, they're automatically supposed to be given more admiration, or respect in their distorted minds.


Exactly.
Although I do mind it when I'm around the whole "I'm older than you, bow down to me." thing with people, some people's parents are like that, and therefore their eldest child does that, so their second child does that, and if they have one their third child is the 'lowest' on that scale.
I am in that situation myself.
I am the youngest out of my 25 year old half sister, and my older brother, who is 17 going on 18.
My brother is a dick about it, and demands I respect him and everything that comes out of his mouth, and should, also agree with it.
And unfortunately for him, I am extremely stubborn, not always in a bad way.
If I view something differently than him he literally says "You're wrong, and dumb, just shut up."
He's told me on several occasions that i'm always wrong.
And that isn't the case, obviously. I'm, actually, usually right, he's even more stubborn than I am though and tries always to bring up good points about why he's right, and they're usually bullshit.
I believe that everyone should deserve the same amount of respect upon meeting them for the first time. Although elders, around your parents'/grandparents' age, there should be given a little higher amount of due respect.
My brother gives no adult respect, especially my grandma and dad, when they don't give him his way he bitches and whines about it until they do.
And he's 17 years old, he doesn't have a job, or his license, and he's never had a girlfriend, why, you ask?
Because he's usually an asshole and has absolutely no respect for anyone elses' opinion, especially a girls.
He's extremely socially awkward too, even around me.


I have a teacher in school, Mrs.Conklin, and she's one of the people I know who demands my respect and admiration, and I, for one, don't think that if she's rude to me she deserves it.
I usually give me basic respect, but on the many occasions that she doesn't give it to me, I won't give it back.
I used to even then, but when I realized that it doesn't help anything, I figure there's no point in it.
I dislike her a LOT because of her 'demands'. If she wants respect, she should GIVE respect, instead of whenever I do one little thing wrong, roll her eyes and sigh real loudly and make a smart remark.
It's terribly rude, and she's the one telling ME how rude I am. It works both ways, respect is due to everyone who you don't know, and everyone who gives it to you.

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 PostPosted: Sun Apr 12, 2009 4:51 pm Reply with quote        
I agree with most of what's been said so far. I'm the type of person who believes that respect should be earned, not just a given. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand giving respect to elders you don't know, or people you've just met, but to a certain extent.
For instance, my stepdad is an asshole. Plain and simple, and my mom's always like, "You need to be nicer to him. You need to show more respect." I was nice to him when I first met him at age 10. I did what he asked, I was even nice to his irritating daughter. Then he became an ass, and that was it for me. He called me names, he made me cry on a regular basis, and I'd had enough. I started standing up to him, and that made him and my mom mad, because I wasn't respecting him, so they say.
I personally think, no matter how old you are, that if you don't give ME respect, I'm not gonna give YOU respect.
I think people who are older than I am just expect it because they think they know more, or are more mature. I'm not meaning to offend anyone, and if I am, I'm sorry.

I absolutely hate the people who demand respect. I hate it. I honestly think respect should be earned.

/wall of text.

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 PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 2:34 pm Reply with quote        
adults easily forget the youthful's own perspective and think that because they've been through it that it should be their "turn"... and in a sense the being through it has taught adults how to avoid the dangerous things in life and teach that in the teaching role, and protect in the protecting role, and society expects that from parents.

The key to happiness is proving wisdom enough to get independence, and be patient until one is an adult oneself to gain "full" independence... and all the problems of life will likely be ones you'll need help from someone or other even then like everyone does.

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 PostPosted: Sat Apr 18, 2009 7:34 pm Reply with quote        
Haha well you should respect your elders more XD.
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 PostPosted: Fri May 01, 2009 3:17 pm Reply with quote        
I think the posts are on the money, more or less.
My respect philosophy is that everyone should give default respect to everyone they meet. Now, default respect takes into acount all sorts of stuff like age, experience, skill. Hearing that someone is educated, I give them respect for that (of course, that respect can be easily destroyed by stupidity that might come out of their mouth >:] ). etc. Happy

But yeah, to demand respect is futile. IT fails to grasp a fundamental aspect of reality. Thou Canst Not Control Anyone Else. You demanding respect will get you nowhere anymore than you demand they sleep this instant. The only things you can do are: give them the "appropriate" respect their behavior deserves, or behave in a way that is respectable to them. (which might be a good thing--depending on whether their behavior is warranted based on yours or not)
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 PostPosted: Sat May 02, 2009 11:03 pm Reply with quote        
Respect is something that is earned PERIOD.

I am polite to everyone, and give everyone respect until they give me a reason NOT to. And thus is probably why I am friends with more adults and younger kids than those my own age.

The younger generation has learned to respect (And fear in some cases muwahaha) me, just as most adults I find I am on friendly terms with do the same. Most are in their late 40's or late 30's that I hang around with, and they treat me like one of their own just as I treat them.

The golden rule should hold true. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. That means, if you want respect, you gotta give some to a degree. If you go up to someone you don't know and start hanging all over them and get upset when they tell you they're callin' the cops, of course you won't get any respect. You'll get ARRESTED.

*Snort*

HAHA JUST KIDDING. No, but seriously. The only time I think adults should get auto-respect are from kids 9 and younger. Why? Because, well honey, last I checked we feed, clothe, and bathe you. Least you can do is not scream at us when we say you can't watch Spongebob until you do your homework.


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 PostPosted: Mon May 04, 2009 6:36 pm Reply with quote        
i agree with you totally i dont demand respect and i dont want anyone to think they can get it either.i be respectful to any one as long as then are respectful towards me. easy. but sadly not every one can act like that.

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 PostPosted: Thu May 21, 2009 3:07 pm Reply with quote        
for me, the only people i give respect to straight off are people that i hold in high regard. the current president, any one of my college professors, an adult or peer that i believe is a better person than most, favored professionals, etc.
all respect is earned, and when i meet someone i don't give them respect, i treat them with common courtesy. i don't expect anyone to respect me when they first meet me, just be polite and friendly. polite and friendly does not equal respect.

but that's just me.

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 PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2009 8:32 pm Reply with quote        
As far as respect goes, everyone gets a set limit. New people I meet get what I suppose you can call a "trial period" of civil respect, and they'll keep it as long as they present themselves as knowledgeable, nice people who see me as an equal. If they don't, they get less and less until no respect is given depending on their actions. Teachers and elders get that respect and keep it for the most part.

I did notice something strange as I reached age 18 though. By no means am I an adult, but I noticed I'm far more mature than I was at 16 or 17. I had thought myself so mature back then, but at that time I was also a child in many other ways. Even now, when I hear some about 13-15 years old complaining about how hard school or life is, I think 'Do you really?' I mean, I'm barely an adult, and things are a bit hairy at times. Teenagers may think they have it rough, but us college students have a bit of a harder time. Yes, there are lots of freedoms we have, but the real world is looming right over our heads. High school teenagers, on the other hand, still have a bit of carefree life before they have to worry about that kinda thing.
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 PostPosted: Mon Jul 06, 2009 10:11 pm Reply with quote        
these people don't realise that respect is demanded or given, its earnt!

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