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Post new topic   Reply to topic Shyness, Social Anxiety, Social Phobia, and the like...
neomattlac



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 PostPosted: Thu Mar 10, 2011 10:44 pm Reply with quote        
Well, I have been doing a lot of research on the topics and I have been wondering what you think about it, and am willing to answer any questions you have, based on the best of my knowledge.

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killerkitty
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 PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:53 pm Reply with quote        
I hate crowds. I hate people. I'm not sure why. I don't like the sound of lots of people talking. I don't tend to get along with anyone. I can never ever find anything to say. If anyone speaks to me, I might nod slightly or utter something, and they usually give up on trying to make a conversation. Well, I find that most of the stuff people (in my school and around my age) say is utterly stupid and unimportant. So I'm usually glad that they leave me. But that just results in me not having any friends. I've got absolutely nothing in common with anyone else, not even physically (I'm white, blonde and with blue eyes, and everyone else is tanned and dark). I'd much rather have my head stuck in a book than join in on the noise they make. I quite enjoy listening to normal, mature adults like my parents talking about interesting things, but I can never join in on that either, seeing as I know much less than them. Sometimes people get me so frustrated that when I come home from school the first thing I do is put on my headphones and read or hoard the computer all day, in an attempt to forget all my responsibilities with the outside world. Thus I often leave my homework abandoned for days at a time, badly influencing my grades despite the fact that I get almost top grades on the exams (I've got a really good memory for that).
I love forums, because it feels like a way of relief, where I can say whatever the hell I want and not care what other people thing of me or anything.
It's so annoying! Whenever I mentally remind myself that I should do homework or study, I just think, 'Yeah, I'll get around to it later,' and continue what I'm doing.

Gah, long rant.

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neomattlac



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 PostPosted: Thu Mar 31, 2011 8:41 pm Reply with quote        
Yeah, that's definitely along the lines of shyness. The way I learned to deal with it is to give up a little bit of my normal internet time to focus on learning about things that "normal" people care about. Listening to the radio is a good way to do it, also, reading yahoo! news is another good things to do, as it gives you a few well known news topics.

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zenphor667x



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 PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 11:19 am Reply with quote        
Shyness: I definitely used to be shy. I didn't really have a reason for it, I just didn't have much to say. I didn't use to be very loud either, was very quiet, so the louder people would end up talking over me lol. I got out of that when I started joining groups in high school that made you talk, and clubs, basically just being more social. Eventually I started not to give a shit about what people thought, so I got pretty loud too. Yelling in public, dancing in the road, the works haha. I know some people end up being shy because of past events or how they were raised. I had a friend that didn't want to talk and ended up being shy because they were told to be quiet a lot when they were younger. Just gotta find what making you comfortable and not be afraid to be yourself. ALSO concerts help lmao, had to add that in.

Social Anxiety: I'm not too sure on this. I'm guessing it has something to do with having a fear of talking to people, what'd they say and how people would react to you that you start to panic. I've only suffered with that for a year or so. I got over paranoid about people that it started to kill my own health but finally found a balance for it.

Social Phobia: I'm actually curious about this one, I don't wanna start typing about it before I fully know what it is lol Anyone can explain this to me? I'll put my input in after ;]
neomattlac



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 PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:14 pm Reply with quote        
Social phobia is basically shyness at a level where you are constantly making the choice to avoid other people, although family and previous friends are usually exempted, but sometimes even they are avoided, particularly if they are not seen on a regular basis.
I never fully left the shyness realm, but I can now talk to people. For me, though, its more I'm afraid to voice my opinion because of a basic fear of being rejected. I care a lot about what people think about me, even if I won't hear those thoughts.

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KoyiTar



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 PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 11:44 pm Reply with quote        
Well in the long run I am similar to Killerkitty. I dislike large crowds and lots of noise unless I am working then I have to deal with it. But I would prefer if i didn't have to deal with people at all aside from the ones I know.

The problem being though is that I rarely hang out with anyone I know that much anymore because none of us have a form of transportation. So therefore when I have been able to hang out with them it's been rather awkward cause I have been cooped up basically with my days scripted if you will.

I go to work and come home. Work is usually always the same stuff different day. Then I come home to pretty much the same ole stuff. It's wouldn't be so bad if I had a form of transportation to get around in after my son has gone to sleep. Of course even if I did have a form of transportation I would probably still go to a place that wouldn't be that crowded and such. I just can't stand places like bars and clubs or the like it makes me jumpy. I am not sure why I am like that. Even if a good friend is around I can't stand to be in places that have to many people that I don't know and such.

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neomattlac



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 PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 9:27 pm Reply with quote        
That sounds like a general thing. Most of the people I know, who like bars, say that they started off with it bothering them and then they got used to it.

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Lady Lyria



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 PostPosted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:01 pm Reply with quote        
Eh, I guess I'm usually shy. I avoid going places all the time; sometimes I'm in such a mood that I don't even want to go inside a grocery store. Then again, sometimes I don't mind going anywhere, and I even enjoy going places as long as I'm accompanied by somebody I like. Often I get nervous before going to a place with a bunch of people, but when I get there I enjoy myself. It's really confusing.. DX I can never decide what to think.
Kimi_Delaetus



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 PostPosted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 9:03 am Reply with quote        
o-o; I guess I'm kinda a mix of all three.

Social Phobia/Anxiety: I *really* hate going to new places--and by new places, I mean over a friend's house that I haven't visited before. I'm always terrified that I'll do something stupid and/or unacceptable by their family's standards.

I'm also not the biggest fan of crowds. I can deal with them, but I doubt I'll ever like them.

As far as general shyness goes, unless I know you, or you're like a friend of mine and pretty much drag me out of my shell, I normally don't talk all that much. I bring a book to class, read during pauses or lulls and that's about it. Once I'm at the lunch table with friends, I prattle away...but I rarely contribute in class or talk to classmates.

So...yeah...Sweat

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neomattlac



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 PostPosted: Thu Jul 21, 2011 10:52 pm Reply with quote        
Kimi - As I told... whomever it was, that, also, sounds like just shyness or even just introversion. The fact that you do open up to people signifies that you don't have a problem. Most people(like 90%) don't like new situations or new people; its a form of not wanting change. And I'm always worried about doing something stupid. And, again, a lot people don't like crowds. You said that you are quiet usually and you tend not to talk to strangers, which kind of pulls back towards shyness, rather than just introversion.

Lady Lyria - Well, you do go out, so therefore you aren't yet in phobia stage, but it sounds like it still might get there if you let it control you. I used to be really bad, but after I moved out, I had to go out and it forced me to become more social.

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Mock



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 PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2013 11:37 pm Reply with quote        
I'm mildly autistic, so for a long time, I couldn't relate to people around me. All the instincts of normal interaction, I've had to teach myself. I'm naturally introverted, but I'm not afraid of public performances if I'm well prepared (I've been in several choirs and vocal groups over the years). I hardly ever talk, and when I do, I'm so quiet no-one can hear me. I think that's due to the fact that when I was young, I would tell people my thoughts and ideas and get an disinterest at best, and insults at worst-- I surmised that my opinions were worthless, so I subconsciously ensure that they're not heard. When someone asks for my thoughts directly, I can go on and on, especially if it's a topic I know a lot about, or have thought extensively on. The longer you keep me talking, the faster and higher my voice gets.

But my social interactions have also been hampered by my photosensitivity. Because of this, I have the opposite weather preferences to everyone else;
"Lovely weather, innit?" -_-
"Let's go down to the beach!" -_-
"Stop lurking in the shadows, you look like a creep!" -_-

It also doesn't help that my eyes are naturally piercing, making it look like I'm giving you the evil eyes all the time.

But all these things I can overcome.


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KathiraNarae



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 PostPosted: Thu Oct 03, 2013 11:51 pm Reply with quote        
Due to severe bullying when I was in primary school, I'm scared of socialising in real life because I don't want to be hurt again. I'm atually kind of shy unless I've got backup from someone I know and trust. I also find it hard to actually socialise if I have to, not just because of the shyness but because I simply don't have the social skills I should have at my age. All in all, I'm terrible at making and keeping friends.
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