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Chu
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 PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 7:18 pm Reply with quote        
Earlier this week, someone told me that the world isn't as bad as I think it is, and my friends can't just be avatars online. n.n

The thing is, I don't really think that the world is that bad. I'm heartbroken by the tragedies and injustices in this world, yes; but I love people, and I enjoy talking to them. The most fulfilling part of my job (I only work in a library for a work-study program) is talking to so many different people.

The reason that I choose not to have much of a social life is because my social needs are fulfilled by talking to people in class and at work. I don't feel the need to hang out with anyone because, well... Do I need a reason? I just don't want to. I talk to people at school and work, and if I get lonely, I talk to people online. That is how I socialize.

I recognize that I'm bringing this subject to a pretty biased group of people, but I'd like to talk about it. Do you think that the way that I socialize is unhealthy? Do you think that people need to hang out with friends, even if they don't particularly want to or feel the need to? Tell me about how you view social needs.

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 PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:19 pm Reply with quote        
This is an interesting topic of discussion, Chu. It's also something I've taken a lot of time to think about in the past, because I find the ideas of socialization and psychology, in general, fascinating.

Your views (from what I can glean through reading this anyway) seem pretty close to my own on the subject. I love the world, and people in general. I feel disheartened by the bad things in the world, and sometimes if I'm not careful I can let the bad things get me down or cause my outlook to become more cynical. Despite that though, I see great potential in this world and the people in it so I try my hardest to look at the positive things and do what I can to make this world as beautiful as I know it can be.

As for choosing not to have a social life (at least, much of one, outside the internet) I mostly feel the same. I usually get enough social interaction through school and work to last me and then I supplement online relationships if I feel that I need more social interaction. While this generally works well, I do find myself getting lonely sometimes (especially now since I'm not working) and I would like to be able to have some more real-life interactions from time-to-time. However, I have a lot of anxiety issues and, even though I'm working on them, face-to-face interaction on a personal level (as of that with friends as opposed to work colleagues) can be very stressful and taxing to me.

Honestly, I think balance is the key to social interaction (as it is to most things.) Personally, I feel I could sometimes benefit from some more real-life friends and situations; I have a few friends who I don't see often enough because of my anxiety. Conversely, I have a varied and full social life online, and I don't think anyone should discount these types of relationships, especially in today's globally connected world. Whatever the case, being social is subjective to who you ask and I don't believe a blanket definition of what constitutes interaction will ever be the answer.

Wow, I totally didn't mean to write so much...but I tend to go on tangents. xD; I was just discussing this very topic the other day with my aunt, as a matter of fact; as a result I kept her up for hours...haha. Anyway, hopefully some of this was coherent enough to facilitate discussion.
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Chu
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 PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:42 pm Reply with quote        
Haha, I don't mind if you post a lot. xP If nothing else, you have more silver for the new commons...?


Sometimes I do get a little lonely too. I can be a touchy-feely person, so I like being comforted by physical contact. Sometimes, just sitting next to a person (any person) can comfort me. I like knowing that I can reach out and touch them. That may be more psychological than social though, I'm not sure.

The way you talked about having varied online relationships did make me think of something though... The person who I referred to in my first post does go out with friends, but I'm pretty sure they spend more time talking to people on the phone or online instead. It's just more convenient these days. I understand that, for them, there's a line drawn between people you meet "in real life" and people you meet online, but still: a lot of their social contact is done with technology. It's almost odd that they'd criticize me for choosing the internet as my main method of communication when they spend a good amount of time doing the same things that I do.

Of course, I could be nitpicking. I can't deny that I'm still a little bitter over the whole thing. I hope that I'm at least being a little logical here, though.


Anxiety is a nasty thing, especially with this. You feel anxious about talking to people, so you avoid people - but the lack of contact makes you more anxious. I feel anxious whenever conversations get even remotely personal. It's when I demand attention (even just by initiating a conversation) that I get anxious. I feel that online too, but it's easier to walk away from that. I'm a mess. xD

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 PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 8:22 pm Reply with quote        
Myself personally, am like that. I don't have much of a social life. Only because I'm not a fan of people. And I've been trying to focus on school and such.

I mean, I do hang out with my friends once in a blue moon, but, I mostly talk to them online. I'm a very anti social person, always have been. In my first years of middle school, some of my closest friends, were on the first forum I was ever really active on. Most of which now, are still rather good friends of mine, even if they're in other parts of the world, they helped me get through a tough point in life.

Hell, my best friend of like 7 years nearly, that lives in florida, I met on that site, and he was also my first relationship(long distance, but still). He literally the only person I know, that I trust with absolutely everything.

I've had people look at me odd because I said that I was a fan of forums, and online related things, and been criticized for it, and asked why I was so anti social/hateful about everything. Each time, I replied with "First, people suck in general, I find, second, I don't deal with people overly well, which I want to change that, and third, too much stress for my body to handle."

I can go days, weeks even, without seeing anyone in person. I just have to go for walks once in a while. As long as I can communicate with people, through text at least, I'm set, because for myself, I have a difficult time, talking aloud to anyone, without tripping over my tongue or feeling awkward.

But, for each person, they would see it differently. I don't believe the way you socialize would be considered unhealthy, personally. Sorry for the wall of text, btw xD

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