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Post new topic   Reply to topic Critique these please
Alyssia



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 PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 8:35 pm Reply with quote        
If Only You'd See

Its such a shame that you're walking blind
That you fail to realize that what you're searching
Is what you already have

Its sad that you can't see the traps that have been
laid out for you, that you don't see all that you could be

I stick around in hopes that you'd one day see
All the things that I see, how much you mean to me
And all the greatness that you could achieve if only
You'd see






Freedom

A sidewards glance as a wayward face passes by as I walk my way and all I can think is that I know the face though I realize that my fear has come to pass that the face that I've glanced knows me not.

Just another passerby to the one that I once loved the one that held me dear now knows me not and as I've feared I've been forgot.
Not even a slight memory preserves me.

Though I'm not sad that my fears have come to pass I'm stuck only wondering what killed that small part of me that was left with him. And in considering this

I have realized my freedom. No longer do I have to hide my face behind a false facade of hope, I can now pursue all and anything that my heart desires and all I want now is what is set before me

My freedom, no longer a slave to a heart that betrayed my trust and forsook my unconditional love. I can smile again knowing that I have kept my word and life will begin anew for me. I wonder if the same can be said for him.


Lost

Regressing once again
leading that sickening life
filled with sin
can't seem to find the
self that I used to know
only searching for the
things that no one else
knows
Making a half assed attempt
to be happy and failing once
more
Dissatisfaction is all that I know
I used to be teeming with life
I used to know all the things that
I felt inside
Now all I want to do is hide
Hide away pushing my existence
aside becoming selfish and
forgetting all the ones that I
said I'd support
My words are no good to anyone
when I'm in a state such as this
It comes on every now and again
I've slowly learned what it feels
like when this change begins to set in
The length it lasts is unknown to me
The only thing that I will know is
when I've been set free.
I know what it feels like to be free
for a fleeting moment only to be brought
back down again
Sinking and sub coming to the sickening
things that you and I hide within
Yes I can feel that its that time again
And somehow I wish that it would just
end
So that I could truly smile and feel that
loving, living warmth deep inside of me again

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GddssGiovanca



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 PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 2:43 am Reply with quote        
Wow, I love it! The first one is almost like a song! Bouncy Heart
How much time did you spend on these?
Well done!


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Alyssia



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 PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 8:21 am Reply with quote        
Why thank you GddssGiovanca, I couldn't tell you how long they took...I wrote these ages ago....All I know is that I write in what I call spurts, the words just flow and if I've nothing to write them on when they come they'll be forever lost. Sweat

But I'm glad that you like them, thanks for taking the time to read them.

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Virva



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 PostPosted: Sat Jun 18, 2011 7:51 am Reply with quote        
I like these. it feels like I am there seeing this actually occur in my mind. the wording is good and it makes the describing make it feel more hitting your soul and what not
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