Trouble Sleeping

[setsu]

I really think I need a good therapist, but that isn't going to happen on Hubby and I's budget..
I can hardly ever sleep, especially at night. I have been known to lay in bed awake until I can see the sunlight peeking through the bedroom window, at which point I will finally fall asleep restfully. As long as it's still night-time, I am super paranoid, freaking out at the teeniest strange noise, or the unshakable feeling that something is going to grab at me from under the bed (even though our bed is directly on the floor)
My mom used to say I wouldn't sleep at night for fear that I'd miss something important, and I think maybe she was on to something. I'm so worried that something bad will happen and I would be the only one awake to deal with it.. I really don't know how to relax and just sleep..
Does anyone have any idea how I feel, or have any tips for relaxing and sleeping? I've tried over the counter sleep aids, all I do is have horrid nightmares all night and wake up in a foul mood and totally not rested.

[Chu]

I haven't really talked to you, so my opinion may not be worth much.

In order for most people to get a good night's sleep, certain factors have to appeal to them: Comfort, peace of mind and tiredness. The levels of these things varies from person to person because we all handle them differently, but for everyone they must be in order in some way. Mine, for example, is that I need just one pillow for comfort, I need complete silence and darkness and I need to be either emotionally or physically exhausted. Otherwise, I'll be up all night.

What levels of comfort, peace and tiredness do you normally need to sleep? This needs to be addressed first, as it is the simplest yet most crucial of all reasons for insomnia in the cases that I've seen.

If you're afraid of something happening, try to figure out exactly what it is you're afraid of and use logic to work your way through that fear, or better yet, be comforted by someone - your husband, most likely - that nothing will happen.


It's interesting that you say that you can't sleep or relax. Is this an issue that you've been dealing with for a while? Try to stop using sleeping methods and start using relaxation methods such as exercise, yoga, meditation, etc.


I wish that I could help more, but all of this is dependent on what type of person you are. You need to look within to figure out what you're doing wrong; not what's wrong with you.

[Sharij]

I had problems with sleeping when I still lived at home with my parents.

That was for the situation at home wasn't comfortable and warm at all, and when I moved out, almost like all my physical and psychical problems gone away.

So it may be, that it is a problem you have with your family, but that is only one of the many possibilities.

Anyway do I agree in all points with Chu, especially in the exhaustion-point.

Go out and do some sport, running e.g. I always find very good to get a fast sleep.

Also, not-so-loud (forgot the word -_-) music of any type (it may be even death metal or anything, you just have to like it^^) has proved well, because then you can just lie in your bed and relax while you listen to the music and not have to think about anything. (plus, you probably won't hear any more sounds that may frighten or upset you!)



Ah yes, last point, are you suffering under depressions or RLS? (restless-legs-syndrome, your legs start to feel extremely bad until you need to move them becuz you lose absolutely the concentration if you don't because the feeling gets stronger and stronger, until you just can't hold still any longer. That doesn't hurt, but it's a torture anyway.)

If you are depressed, you should simply talk to someone you trust and try to change the situation (there is so much to be said to depression, but I won't say anymore unless you want me to cuz if you're not depressed it doesn't make any sense to do so)...


But if you suffer under RLS, then the worst thing you could do would be sitting in front of the TV before you want to go to bed; I have RLS, and I can barely sit still for more than an hour while doing nothing but watching (that's why I am extremely good in multitasking WoW, YouTube and Solitaire while listening to music I guess *laughs*)
In that case you would need to .... (missing the word) ah yes, stretch your muscles until they feel comfortable again, and then maybe still move a bit around before laying down.


Ah, and a last thing comes to my mind.
Simply don't go to bed when you're not sleepy yet. Just don't. As you say, you don't sleep, anyway, so why bother and lay in bed?
Do whatever you want (best would be reading in bed or anything near your bed, because, at some point you WILL think: sleeeep..... now..... *yaaaaaawn* and can just close your eyes and then sleep; I had the problem that when I did something and got tired and then stood up to go to bed I became awake again...... but just staying in bed and doing whatever in there may help).
(that was a long bracket o_O)
So, you don't sleep when you are not tired. Say yourself you don't have to. Simply don't look at the clock. Time is unimportant. Your alarm will go in the morning if needed, so just don't bother whatever you do after... let's say midnight just for an example.

Mhhh I guess I'd know some other tips, but I have to make a call now and can't concentrate anymore xD

[DrunkenShark]

I wonder if it'll help, but here is my simple wacko advice:

I do know how having irrationnal fears harrasing you feels like since, when I lack sleep for days, I tend to become paranoid at night in the dark. I'd easily hallucinate being just standing in a corner, not moving just like any creepy ghost or creature from horror movies and video games, or just see every shadow as a threatening thing. No matter how hard I keep telling me it is only me imagination, I can’t help but “see” those hallucinations anyway. It gets worst when I know there is a slight chance a real danger awaits for me (when I come back from my second work at noon and that I have to cross many wooden area where some kids and some guys had already been attacked by drunken idiots or paedophiles for example… )

However, it only happens to me when I seriously need some sleep: tired mind just tend to lose it anyway. I’m sure I could not sleep either if I was trying to right when I am in my paranoid mood.
But the thing is: I cross this wooden area on my bicycle, and then I have to roll for about 15 minutes and roll up a hill before I reach home. This mean I have plenty of time to get out of the wood, roll in the open and get tired from the high speed cycling I am doing. In addition, to help me I listen to music while cycling. At last, I take a shower before going to bed…

It works to get over the fear for many reasons: like I said I have plenty of roads to do in a less scary area.
Plus music helps changing my mind: I only have to focus on the lyrics and the musical instrument that plays in the background an all.
Then doing sport as swimming and cycling is not only good for you (meh XD) but it leaves you more physically tired. And like many stamina sports, your brain produced a chemical I don’t know the name in English that helps you get over pain and leave you with a feeling of satisfaction when you’re done with the physical activity.
At last a good shower or a long bath really helps you relax.

If you’d rather not go on sports, you can keep the music idea, and let some lights on or let a pet sleep with you if you have one.

If it is not fears but worries about your daily life that keeps you from sleeping, I’m afraid I don’t know what to say

[setsu]

It hadn't occurred to me to try relaxation techniques rather than just sleeping methods... I'll give that a shot and see how it goes.
Usually I am physically exhausted when I try and go to bed, hubby and I exercise a couple hours before bed (long enough to let the adrenalin and stuff from the workout wear off, but not so long that we're not tired any more) but it doesn't always help.. Maybe I'll try and do some yoga cooldowns rather than just plain stretching.
Also I do suffer from RLS, but I know how to get up and stretch the muscles and crawl back into bed.. Hubby says I even do it in my sleep like sleepwalking sometimes..

[Sharij]

mhhh the RLS thing is really annoying when it's come so far it already appears in sleep...

I wish you luck the next time you want to sleep

[BiscuitQueen]

Clean and wash your ENTIRE room (bed included), turn off all the electronics in your room, don't eat before you sleep, and don't watch scary movies before you sleep. ):

Sometimes I can't sleep because I feel dirty laying in my bed that I'll get so frustrated that I'll wake up and clean until I'm satisfied. The electronics one is simple, well at least for me, I can't sleep with noise. I learned from t.v that if you eat food (especially spicy food) before you sleep, you tend have nightmares. I think you can figure out the "don't watch scary movies before you sleep" one for yourself.

[Sailor_Gunner_Cat]

I agree yoga would be a great idea to help you get to sleep and relax
be sure your doing the right positions though certain ones are for awakening and others are for the evening relaxation it could make a big difference
I used to do it before I went to bed and it really helped me fall asleep quicker...maybe I should start doing it again my dreams have been keeping me up

[Taintedswan]

I agree with most of the things said before.
For the fear, try to rationalize it, I mean really the probability of something happening is really small, and the police are around, and other people in the neighborhood are likely to be up sometimes, and you can typically wake up quickly enough to deal with most things too.
As for the rest, maybe just give yourself some time to just think, I know that helps me sometimes, I can't sleep because of all of the random thoughts popping into my head, so I just relax and think things (boring mundane things) through calmly and you might just drift off!

[Syd-Cymbaline]

Our biological clocks are set for a 25-hour day, one hour longer than a normal day. But, that shouldn't impede your sleep that much...

Are you thinking of anything??? Tests...? Stress???

That may be the reason why... XP

[Sly]

I have no good advice here, as I, myself, hardly ever get any sleep. I'm not exactly afraid or anything at night, but for some reason, as long as I can remember I've had trouble falling asleep at night. It's gotten considerably worse now that I work nights though; that combined with the fact that half of the week I have to be up in the mornings for school really puts a damper on the number of hours of sleep I'm able to accumulate. For me, at least, changing my schedule up a bit would probably help; unfortunately, I'm not really able to do that just now. Well, whatever the case, I wish you lots of luck on catching up with Morpheus in the future.

[Imaginative Sarah]

I have trouble sleeping alot,like I can fall asleep but it usually takes me a hour or so. um,also my kittys in this house my parents wont allow them to come out, :/ so I have to keep them locked up in my room. & this house is very old so when they run around it is loud. & that is annoying and makes me unable to sleep. I started keeping the duster in my room,cause one of my cats is threatened by it. and I tryed threatening her with it by swinging it around her (not hitting her,she just thinks its after he if u like act like u gunna hit her wit hit,she too slow to know that its you) anyways,yeah I try doing that at times for a few mins hoping they will calm down. usually that works and may give me time to try and fall asleep..

[Tarragon]

A few years back (early to mid 2006) I was suffering from moderate bouts of paranoia that brought on insomnia. My mom had just passed away and for several months afterward I had trouble with sleeping most nights. The worst were the two months after, which I had to take off of school as a result. I similarly believed that every sound at night was a sign of impending doom. I even had nightmares that my dad, who I am and have always been close to, was trying to murder me while the rest of my family looked on.

Unfortunately, from that experience, I have very little to offer in the way of advice. Personally I dealt with my insomnia in the least healthy (physically and emotionally) way feasible; I let it get worse. Eventually it got so bad that I would go around fifty hours on little more than a catnap. The last straw was while visiting relatives roughly two hours from my home, I spent the entire day there, struggling to stay awake, and when I got home around six in the evening I passed out and slept until the following morning. From then on I was back into my normal habits.

However, when I've struggled with lesser bouts of sleeplessness due to mild depression (I admit it's self-diagnosed, based on symptoms and a family history of it), I've found audio books worked wonders for me. Since my mind is constantly working me over at night, when I'm bordering on sleep I put on a pair of headphones and put on something, preferably with a soothing voice actor, to shut my mind out. When having to give my attention to an audio book it means all those little nit-picky "Did I lock the front door?" questions that frequently arise are put to rest. Though, the result is that I occasionally end up dreaming about said voice actor. That's a story for another time however.

[Rhemiyl]

Answering this on no sleep for 36 hours. I feel only the slightest bit tired.
What works for me is usually eating a very early breakfast so I'm sure my dinner will be just as early, giving me time to work off all its energy before bed so it's not keeping me awake. Food gives us more energy than we give it credit for, really, so give that a shot.
Also, I know it was mentioned but try to be near your bed before you sleep while you're doing whatever. The less you have to trek to get there, the less you'll wake up when you're tired. And try not sleeping until you're tired enough because if you drift off only the slightest and wake up, that bit of rest is enough to keep you awake now for hours.
And apathy for the paranoia deal. I feel like if I sleep I'm going to miss out of something, plans, and accident, a great conversation, getting work done.... name it, but I know if I don't sleep I'm probably not going to enjoy it half as much as I would rested. It's a tough battle. I'm the type to say, "just one more hour". Lately I've been awake 24 hours, asleep 12 and repeat.... it's so erratic.