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neomattlac



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 PostPosted: Sat Jun 11, 2011 12:45 pm Reply with quote        
First one is a story I was writing similar to a few other tales, but slightly different. The ending will be the same, but the story itself will be different.

How lead turns to gold.
One day a king decides that he would like his daughter to marry, but he is still very apprehensive about it. So, he sends out a decree for anyone who can turn lead into gold will be allowed to court his daughter. Soon, many scientists and alchemists were trying to prove themselves worthy, however many failed. Magicians also tried. One magician placed a hunk of lead down, laid a napkin on top of it, waved his hands above it, and pulled up the napkin there was a hunk of gold, however the king was clever enough to know better. "I see that you have 'changed' that lead into gold," the king said, "but in reality, you only moved it, didn't you?" The magician admitted to it, and so the king had him beheaded, for attempting to con the king. A few months later, a philosopher came along and requested the king's audience. The king was relentful, but he finally allowed it. So, the philosopher was allowed to see the king. Now, the philospher went in front of the king and told the king that he could turn lead into gold, however he would need to go to the marketplace with him, and so they did. In the marketplace, they went to a merchant, who bought and sold many things. The philospher knew that this merchant was somewhat corrupted and liked to take advantage of situations when he could. The philospher unwrapped a brilliant gold statue of a bull and presented it to the merchant. "How much would you give me for this lead statue?" the philosopher asked the merchant. The merchant was confused at first and so said, "What do you mean lead statue? This is a gold statue." The philosopher merely repeated what he had said before, "How much would you give me for this lead statue?" Seeing that he could make a substaintial profit off this obviously misguided man, and knowing that gold is worth far more than lead, the merchant responded, "Oh this lead statue. I'm sorry, I must have been confused. Oh yes. Because of the size and the weight of the statue..." and the merchant appraise it as if it were lead. After that, the philospher told the king, "As the gold statue was sold for the price of a lead statue, and the merchant identified it as a lead statue, then isn't it indeed a lead statue?" The king was not impressed, so the philosopher offered up another "trick." Next they went to an art gallery. There the philosopher had set up another golden statue, and had etched in it, "lead." Now, many people were interested into the statue as it was gold, but was named "lead." After a few minutes, the philospher walked up to one of the art students in the area and asked him, while indicating towards the statue, "What is that statue?" The student replied, "lead." The philosopher asked him further, "If it is gold, how can it be lead?" The student replied, "Well, the piece is named 'lead', so it is 'lead'" And the philosopher went around and asked a few more students the same question, and all of them answered the same, "lead." The king was displeased by what seemed to him like trickery, and was prepared to have the philosopher beheaded, but the philosopher told the king that he just had one more proof that lead can be turned into gold. And the king, yet again, let him try. (Grammer? Spelling? Daughter worth gold?)

Second one is just a parody of Howls Moving Castle, where Sophia and Howl first meet. Don't worry too much about this one. Just here so I don't lose it.

Howls Stationary Castle(Dialogoue between Howl and Sophia. * indicates thoughts, whispering, or actions. ) -- And here we go, *didn't think that'll work this time. better than last time. THAT lady might never walk again* just walk naturally *and just hope my magic holds up* what was that? Nothing, dear. You're doing a wonderful job. *god, you are getting heavy, you feel like a horse* Excuse me! I do not feel like a horse! I feel like a delicate woman! Now, I'm not moving from right here. *evil stare* Your loss. *dashes off* Hmpf. Well, I never'.

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